AIBU to want to lose baby weight asap

[kiki22]

i'm thinking of joining slimming world pretty much as soon as babys here maybe after 2 or 3 weeks start the classes a friend done this and has lost all her baby weight her ds is only 15 weeks and tbh she looks better now that pre pg, but quite a few people have said it's far to soon and can't believe i'm even thinking about it yet (34 weeks) some have even suggested it wouldn't be healthy. DP's aunt (5 yrs older than me) had the cheek to suggest i should be focusing on my baby not myself like she did 4 dress sizes ago. Really want to know if i'm the only one that thinks it's ok?

To try to field any questions i won't be BF and if i did i would alter plan to allow for it (MW will advise), i want to do it because tho i am happy to get chubby in pregnancy i don't want to be afterward i want to feel attractive again (vain but i miss it) and i usually struggle to lose weight so don't want to leave it months gain more be unhappy and have a huge struggle to get loads of weight off.

Can i get some opinions on this??

Thanks worra. I think the problem is I'm judging myself, for being ill in the 1st place & needing the drugs.Hence being oversensitive. Stupid, pointless line of thinking I know. Sure I'll be fine once I get in my stride.

Don't judge yourself for being ill madmomma and remember that BF babies get ill too...just as FF babies do.

There is no guarantee that you'll have a healthier child if you BF...especially as I say, there are far too many little ones out there who are obese due to lack of healthy food and exercise. It's swings and roundabouts it would seem.

But please don't feel you have to tell anyone about your personal medical problem by way of explanation for the way you feed your baby.

That's just ridiculous.

Thanks again. Very kind. Sorry for hiijak OP

Madmomma, I'm so sorry to hear you are worrying about this. Can you talk
To your midwife etc about your feelings on this? And of course you must not feel at all bad for being ill! Maybe your personal way to
Cope is preparation? Get everything ready and look at getting on a baby massage course etc once baby arrives - thay might help you as it is a lovely and bonding thing to do with your baby. Get as much support as you can. I would feel exactly like you and I understand that there is no point dismissing how you feel, but maybe the first step is acceptance of the situation and then looking at what other things you can do to help you through these feelings (by that, I mean that as someone who has breastfed before and for such a long time, it is probable that you will find it hard doing something different) and get as much support as you need from your HV, family and friends.

inspireme - It depends how big you are I am only 8 stone 3 now and 26 weeks pregnant. I havent put weight on anywhere but the bump.

Once the baby is out the weight comes straight off,I do loads of exercise whilst pregnant as I have a very manual job. I think it all depends on the person, but here where lots of young mums get pregnant its normal to see girls back to their clubbing clothes in a few weeks. Last time I went out clubbing in a bikini top when my DD was 3 months, completely flat stomach and no stretch marks. I dont see the need for cats bum faces.

The younger you are, the quicker your body snaps back into pre-pregnancy shape.

My advice: eat well now and you may find you have little to lose afterward.

Cut out all sugar (all!) and all refined carbohydrates. Eat protein and a bit of fat with every meal. No fruit juice. 2 pieces of fruit a day max. 5 portions of veg. Two small portions of whole grains a day.

This is what I did and I finished my pregnancy carrying less fat than I had when I started.

Carry on like this afterwards and breastfeed your baby. The pounds will fall off. No need for sw.

I wouldn't normally ask about someone's reasons for not BF, I'm well aware there are many valid reasons that women might not want to discuss.

However, the OP first says 'I won't be BF', then, 'but if I did', which suggests she hadn't completely made up her mind. If I wrote something like that, it would probably mean that I was going to try very quietly so no-one would know if I couldn't manage it .

Just wanted to let her know there is lots of advice and info available on MN if you ask in the right place (ie not AIBU! )

Molly the only reason I knew I was preg was that my clothes were a little tight, and I was only 6 wks and v active during this time, I'm a naturally slim person and still put just over 2 stone despite being able fit into size 10 skinny jeans up until I was about 38 wks. I ate well and regularly exercised during pregnancy and I was still left with 1 and a half stone to loose after Ds was born, so it seems sometimes it doesn't matter what you do. The weird thing was I didn't really look much bigger after DS was born just a bit of a belly and despite having half a stone to loose yet most people say I now look skinnier so I don't know where I hold the weight but it's there on the scales.

Most of my family/ friends are late 20's early 30's so maybe that makes a difference, can I assume your alot than this younger Molly?

I've had a terrible diet since giving birth. I've still lost 2.5 stone since getting pregnant! A lot of it is luck. For me it was 1) no appetite for first 20 weeks of pregnancy 2) not drinking alcohol 3) less fizzy drinks 4) no appetite for first month after CS 5) once I was up and about trundling around the pram for hours because baby isnt a great napper 6) BFing (sorry) 7) very little time to eat!

Please don't put pressure on yourself to be up and doing right away. I hope you feel great and ready for anything, but if you do have a hard time then it's ok to spend all day on the sofa eating whatever you can face. An hour once a week five minutes away sounds easy now and may be easy when the time comes - but if it isn't don't beat yourself up! Good luck.

I breastfed both of my dc's and all it did was make me ravenous so didnt really help with weight loss, what does help is chasing after a crwaling baby and going for lots of long walks or pushing a heavy pram up a hill!!

haven't read whole thread sorry, but would say that, especially if you were reasonably trim before, you may well find that you are back in your pre-pg clothes very quickly but you may NOT be the same shape. I have had 2 DCs both by CS and whilst I am actually now about a stone lighter than I was before DC1 I have a overhanging belly that I didn't have before that shows no signs of going away so with clothes on I look better but less good than before without them (which I think I prefer as only me and DP have to worry about it ). It is not unreasonable to want to lose the weight but new motherhood is a whole new world and you don't know how you will feel about things like breastfeeding, leaving your baby to go to a class, needing biscuits during a 4th mid-night wakeup until they happen. Best of luck though and well done for not just assuming that baby= an extra stone forever.

To be frank I think it is sad that this is a priority of yours at this stage in your pregnancy. I think this is a mixture of social pressure and the media telling us that it is normal to be back into your skinny jeans by the time the baby is 4 weeks old.

What you do or not, clearly is up to you. However, the first 6 weeks of your first baby's life is very stressful and hard physically and emotionally. You will lose the baby weight but whether it is in 6 weeks or 6 months - does it really matter?

Focus on your emotional well being after the baby is born. Closet yourself and let others help you and take care of you and the baby. My advice is don't put pressure on yourself. It is a difficult time enough.

runningwilde quit being a bitch not everyone can wants to BF and it's got F all to do with you if someone doesn't. How judgemental and just plain rude.

pingu2209, that's a bit much. When did the OP say it was a priority? And don't start stigmatising those who are back into pre-preg clothes quickly. Could it just be that they gained a reasonable and healthy amount of weight during pregnancy and then continued to eat healthily post pregnancy? What does that have to do with social pressure? It's recommended as a result of every piece of medical evidence going to do this.

Mixed Berries - I didn't mean to come across as rude. I meant to be nice.

Whilst there are mums who don't gain much weight and get back to 'normal' very quickly naturally through healthy eating and no more, I guess I made the assumption that as the OP wants to join a slimming club, that her weight loss was greater than a stone or two.

Also the fact that she mentioned a slimming club when her baby was only 2-3 weeks old, that her desire to loose the weight quickly was quite high on her agenda.

I just feel that is sad because it is for many a difficult time and worrying about weight loss would be another pressure.

Ok pingu, fair enough! Perhaps that's just how I read it. I can see your point. TBH it's just that I'm getting a bit peeved at the hideous personal attacks a lot of OPs get on AIBU when no such negative assumptions can be made from what they've posted. But that's AIBU I suppose. I'll get the ants out of my pants now and have a cup of coffee!

I think it's also fair to say that not everyone who wants to look good is bowing to social or media pressure.

Some people feel good when they look good, therefore it's more about their own personal and emotional well being.

why are so many people reading i'm thinking of joining slimming world pretty much as soon as babys here maybe after 2 or 3 weeks as i am deff 100% gettin my fat ass to a fat class to starve myself and ignore my baby while i try to look like victoria beckham? No pressure just thinking of doing it if i can. I have no idea what i want to weigh just want to get to a size 10/12 so lose 2 or 3 dress sizes in a year-ish.

I think it's quite sad that wanting to get healthy and feel good about myself is seen as a bad thing, there are so many negitive ideas about having a baby like you'll never sleep, you'll never be slim again, you'll have no time for yourself resulting in many woman thinking thats just how it is and not really enjoying their life. Maybe if more people took a positive approch instead or resigning themselves to all the neg ideas there would be more happy people out there. I know far to many woman who are unhappy with there bodys and relationships and just accept that it's part of being a mother you need to give up on what you want i do not want to end up like that.

Pingu i will be focusing on my emotional well being by getting some time away once a week to do something for myself, get some of my confidence back and make a start on a healthier life style for my family.

I think sometimes seeing someone as positive as yourself, determined to lose the weight can bring out the worst in some people.

But that's mainly about their own insecurities.

Just do what's right for you and your family and don't worry about other people's negative attitudes.

"make a start on a healthier life style for my family."

Odd, then, that you won't consider breastfeeding. Maybe you've not read this? www.infactcanada.ca/RisksofFormulaFeeding.pdf

Oh ffs

"I think it's quite sad that wanting to get healthy and feel good about myself is seen as a bad thing, there are so many negitive ideas about having a baby like you'll never sleep, you'll never be slim again, you'll have no time for yourself resulting in many woman thinking thats just how it is and not really enjoying their life."

No - I think it's just that there are many people on this thread who have a good understanding of what life with a NEWBORN baby is like.

In many, many cultures they have a tradition of providing strong social care for women for 40 days after the birth. That's out of recognition that the first six weeks of your baby's life are a time of special and profound transition - for you, your body, your baby and your partner. A time to be focusing on recovering from the birth and from the pregnancy, resting and getting to know your baby and meeting his or her needs, which at this point are very great.

Anyway - good luck with your plans! Don't feel too bad about pushing them back by a few weeks if you find you feel more overwhelmed by new motherhood than you'd anticipated. There'll be no shame in putting your 'ME ME ME' strategy on the shelf while you enjoy falling in love with your baby and recovering from the birth.

To be honest, I was exactly the same as you kiki22, but ended up being stuck in hospital for 2 weeks, and various complications affected my mobility for 8 months, so wasn't able to put my diet and exercise plan into action quite as planned.

However, I found that through doing literally nothing and staying very closely acquainted with my couch I lost just over 4 stone in 4 months (yes, I put on a PHENOMENAL amount of weight when pregnant . I was breastfeeding, so that may have helped, but also I had a lot of water retention (I was like a water balloon by the timw I was induced!) so I think that once DS was born, my body just shrunk back down again.

So don't automatically think you are going to have to go back to green day/red day to lose your baby weight!

And FWIW, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to get a healthy body weight back after pregnancy - it is not a sign of caring about yourself more than your baby, wanting to look like a celebrity or whatever else has been said. All I would advise is following a diet you are already familiar with - new baby shock, sleep deprivation and trying to follow a new diet plan is not going to easy!

Good luck!

"get some of my confidence back and make a start on a healthier life style for my family"

I hope you find that being a mum gives you a huge amount of confidence that goes way, way deeper than what you look like on the outside. Many women find that to be true.