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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to lose baby weight asap

228 replies

kiki22 · 19/12/2011 00:41

i'm thinking of joining slimming world pretty much as soon as babys here maybe after 2 or 3 weeks start the classes a friend done this and has lost all her baby weight her ds is only 15 weeks and tbh she looks better now that pre pg, but quite a few people have said it's far to soon and can't believe i'm even thinking about it yet (34 weeks) some have even suggested it wouldn't be healthy. DP's aunt (5 yrs older than me) had the cheek to suggest i should be focusing on my baby not myself like she did 4 dress sizes ago. Really want to know if i'm the only one that thinks it's ok?

To try to field any questions i won't be BF and if i did i would alter plan to allow for it (MW will advise), i want to do it because tho i am happy to get chubby in pregnancy i don't want to be afterward i want to feel attractive again (vain but i miss it) and i usually struggle to lose weight so don't want to leave it months gain more be unhappy and have a huge struggle to get loads of weight off.

Can i get some opinions on this??

OP posts:
Original poster
kiki22 · 20/12/2011 12:28

heresthething exactly where did i say i wouldn't consider BF?? at the moment due to medical issues i'm not planning to MW and doc both agreed to this BUT i did say in my post if i do which obviously means that it's not out of the question i will adjust accordingly. God am i sick to death of all there breast is best preachers it's not always for everyone and making people feel bad for it is wrong.

OP posts:
heresthething · 20/12/2011 12:52

"To try to field any questions i won't be BF" - from your OP. But I'm sorry, I forgot that sharing information on the risks of formula makes you a preacher trying to make people feel bad Hmm. Personally I felt pretty bloody rubbish when I found out what the risks were AFTER I formula fed.

FWIW doctors and midwives seldom know how medical issues affect breastfeeding so if you are actually of a mind to, it's worth researching your specific condition to see if you can.

MollyTheMole · 20/12/2011 13:09

Bfing doesnt necessarily mean you'll lose weight. I cant shift any of mine despite bfing and walking loads, dieting (and a mix of not eating much either apart from bowls of Weetabix due to running around after two diva DS's)

Am also Hmm at the bfing judgey brigade. FFS when will you lot just turn it in and let people make their own minds up, no wonder bfing rates are so low, people must be worried that it automatically turns you into a knob.

runningwilde · 20/12/2011 13:14

I find it quite ironic that you talk about a healthier lifestyle yet are seemingly dismissing the health benefits of bf and you did state in your opening discussion that you won't be bf. If you have some medical issues for this as you now state maybe you should get advice from the la leche league and your doctor before you discount it

molly3478 · 20/12/2011 13:36

inspireme - Im nearly 28 , but was 23 with the first. However I have a very active job/lifestyle so its more constantly moving for me.

Also a newborn is no way as major deal as everyone is making on here (imo) realistically you can still carrying on exercising.I have already registered my interest for next years race for life and its only a month after I give birth.

WorraLiberty · 20/12/2011 13:40

no wonder bfing rates are so low, people must be worried that it automatically turns you into a knob.

Xmas Grin
naturalbaby · 20/12/2011 13:44

"why are so many people reading i'm thinking of joining slimming world pretty much as soon as babys here maybe after 2 or 3 weeks as i am deff 100% gettin my fat ass to a fat class to starve myself and ignore my baby while i try to look like victoria beckham?"
that's the way I see it because you've admitted to eating crap and piling on weight while pregnant so i can't work out where your priorities are. if it's that much of an issue then there's no reason why you can't eat healthy food and excercise now to stop gaining extra weight you're going to want to get rid of when baby arrives.

"I think it's quite sad that wanting to get healthy and feel good about myself is seen as a bad thing, there are so many negitive ideas about having a baby like you'll never sleep, you'll never be slim again, you'll have no time for yourself resulting in many woman thinking thats just how it is and not really enjoying their life."
i don't see it as a bad thing to want to get healthy and feel good about yourself - it is one of the priorities for good mental health. i'm being realistic as are most of the posters who have gone through it already. they are not negative ideas, that is how it is!

runningwilde · 20/12/2011 13:47

Pmsl at that, yeah that's right, people who breastfeed - who work so hard to give their babies optimum nutrition and benefits are so awful aren't they Hmm

Yeah right! That's one of the funniest things I have heard all day!

Love the desperate self-justification for the low bf rates in this country too... Whereas the real reasons are more likely to be that people don't persevere with it enough and prefer the easiness of bottles. I see it all the time and it's so true.

MixedBerries · 20/12/2011 13:48

Look out OP- the judgy pants are coming at you in full force from all directions!

Original poster
kiki22 · 20/12/2011 13:51

why does everything on here end up about BF??? seriously it's unbelievable

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 20/12/2011 13:51

Look

No-one likes a preacher and since the OP has not asked for any feeding advice, she is basically being preached to here.

I seriously doubt the OP gives a flying fuck how other people on this thread choose to feed their offspring...therefore she's bound to be wound up at people poking their nose into her feeding choices.

KarenMillenCoat · 20/12/2011 13:52

I thought the question was about weight loss, not breastfeeding?

KarenMillenCoat · 20/12/2011 13:53

Well said, Worra.

usualsuspect · 20/12/2011 13:55

'no wonder bfing rates are so low, people must be worried that it automatically turns you into a knob'

Quote of the year Grin

OP see how you feel after the birth ,its difficult to make decisions before

elfyrespect · 20/12/2011 13:56

Are those people who "suggested that it wouldn't be healthy" to try and lose the weight so soon/quickly worried about your medical issues?
There might be more here than we're privvy to, so we're perhaps not in a position to reply properly to your AIBU.

Original poster
kiki22 · 20/12/2011 13:57

Worras right i don't give a fuck :)

All the neg comments have just confirmed what i thought in the start IANBU so ha :)

OP posts:
shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 13:58

"will you lot just turn it in and let people make their own minds up, no wonder bfing rates are so low, people must be worried that it automatically turns you into a knob"

Because mothers WILL choose not to breastfeed, just to spite those people who say they ought to. Hmm

The amazing thing is that I've more than once seen posts on this board from people seriously suggest this is a rationale for some women choosing not to breastfeed. Which makes you feel that a discussion of what being 'child centred' actually means should be an essential part of every parents preparation for having a baby.

On another note: OP - how old are you? (if you don't mind me asking....). I wonder if you're still young and gorgeous and a bit fixated on yourself and your sexuality - hence the desparation to diet and to keep your boobs for sexual purposes only.

Many of us mums here are a bit long in the tooth and to a certain extent past that youthful angst with appearance and sexuality (thank fuck). So maybe that goes some way to explaining the differences of opinion.

MixedBerries · 20/12/2011 14:02

Perhaps she's older and gorgeous and perfectly capable of child-centred rearing whilst expressing an interest in herself and sexuality. All at the same time.

FrenchRuby · 20/12/2011 14:03

I have to say from my perspective (and not from op, because her situation as far as I know wasn't the same as mine) about the whole priorities issue.
I had an ED before I got pregnant with my DD and once I got pregnant I started eating properly and because I had gone for so long not eating properly, 4years+, then my weight went so high, I was ashamed to go outside, I felt horrible and had panic attacks if I went out. So that's why I joined when DD was 4 weeks old, it was either slip back into my old ED ways and risk my health (which no matter how hard I tried I would have done) or go to a meeting for an hour once a week. I have to say the support from SW is amazing and I haven't looked back, I've lost 5stone the healthy way and I consider myself to be in recovery now. I also met a few other mothers in my group and now we meet up with our babies, so that could be a good thing too?
I know the OP situation isn't the same as mine was but I really don't think your priorities are wrong just because you want to feel good about yourself. But this is just my opinion. :)

shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 14:05

"Perhaps she's older and gorgeous and perfectly capable of child-centred rearing whilst expressing an interest in herself and sexuality. All at the same time."

I wish I could do that. I can't even walk and chew gum at the same time. Grin

molly3478 · 20/12/2011 14:07

God some people on here are making motherhood sound awful to the poor op. You get fat, lose your sexuality, cant do anything, concentrate on your self at all including exercising. Your life is practically over you might as well curl up and die Hmm

Dont worry op it is seriously nothing like this at all. Good luck to you and you can definitely do it. Exercise will make you feel godo and be great for keeping toned.

SimoneD · 20/12/2011 14:07

FFS why shouldnt you want to keep yourself in shape and enjoy your breasts as part of your sexuality. You dont turn into some withered sexual non entity just because you have a baby

and yes, I was slightly put off breastfeeding by all the fanatical, evangelical quite frankly weird breast feeding mums that are so vocally prominent. You actually think to yourself, god I hope I dont turn into one of those arseholes.
Im sure most bf mums arent like this but they just get on with feeding their babies and dont spout vitriol at every turn just because someone has made a different choice to them.

OP, I hope you do get your baby weight off quickly. It took me 9 months and lost it all and a bit more by eating low carb and exercise. Good luck.

shagmundfreud · 20/12/2011 14:07

"I really don't think your priorities are wrong just because you want to feel good about yourself. But this is just my opinion."

It's a great idea to eat healthily and exercise after the birth. A good way of combatting PND sometimes.

The issue is whether the OP should be starting a weight loss plan within a couple of weeks of giving birth.

runningwilde · 20/12/2011 14:08

You don't care but start a thread in aibu asking for opinions... Hmm

Well, it has certainly offered an insight into many things, not all good

I'll save my admiration and respect for some other mums

FrenchRuby · 20/12/2011 14:09

Slimming world is more of a lifestyle change, promoting exercise and healthy eating.

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