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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Nanny turned into Nanny for hell and a nutter (long sorry)

184 replies

scrummummy · 17/12/2011 22:00

Have posted in childcare but thought I'd get more traffic here. Help

My DH sacked the nanny on wed, it was a last straw type moment. Many things led up to it ie taking them to her house every day, not telling who the children were coming into contact with and only find out from DD1 (5) or what DD2(3) said (ish). Going to McD every day and buying them chocolate and ice cream (ice cream is health cos it contains calcium was the answer) every day, even though we specifically asked for this not to happen. Slightly more important was late taking to and picking up for school (sometimes 30mins - 1hour late take and pick up). Finally, last two straws, spent Tuesday in hairdressers get hair cut coloured and washed with DD2 in the buggy for the whole time. Last straw, was on Wednesday left the house with no keys, didn't inform me until 1 hour before school pick-up - to my yahoo email while I was at work didn't phone my mobile or work number, didn't phone DH mobile or work number, I was lucky I checked my email during my late lunch. I immediately phoned her repeatedly with no answer. So left work to get to school for pick up, called DH, he left work cos I asked him to sack her there and then, so that she couldn't make up excuses and try to talk me out of it, he's strong at this than me.

Thanks if you've read this far, this is now when the "fun" starts.

She had left her bike at our house. My DH told her to come and collect it in an hours time, giving me the opportunity to get home and calm down. She didn't come and collect it. That evening DH rung her ask when she was going to collect the bike and she said the following day.

I'm at home the following day to look after DD1 & 2 as we now no-longer have child care. I asked DH to put the bike outside in front gated garden so I wouldn't have to talk to her when she turned up to collect it.At lunchtime I saw someone who looked very much like her take the bike.

Following day DH is at home looking after the children and a Taxi arrives, driver says he's come to collect a bike, DH says its been taken. Next DH gets a call from the police, making an enquiry on behalf of the Nanny as to where her bike is. While this is going on at home I'm getting email's demanding money for the bike. DH explains to the Police Officer that the bike was taken the previous day, by he assumed the Nanny.

Overnight I get more and more weirder emails demanding more money for the bike as DH has either stolen it or put it in the bin, like the keys she claimed she couldn't find (we have three sets of keys on the mantelshelf, for her to take).

So after reading the overnight emails, DH contacts the police to discuss the matter. Later today a Police Sargent turns up at the door asking for the bike, DH invites him in shows that we have no bike, goes over all of the above with the PS. Show him the emails, PS talks to the Nanny (who has given him a different story) comes back to us and tells us that he has explained to her that there is (in his words) no case to answer and will only file an incident report and sends her on her way.

So WTF do we do if she turns in to a "From Hell" nanny as we have a new nanny starting in Jan and we are worried that she might do something reckless.

Help/ word of wisdom has any one dealt with a situation similar to this? Smile
Can tell you more about the madness if you want to have more shits and giggle

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 19/12/2011 17:20

Why should the op pay for the bike? The nanny was seen collecting it! She's just being a PITA

No she wasn't seen collecting it.

redwineformethanks · 19/12/2011 17:26

I'm concerned by so many references on this thread (only one or two from the OP) to "nutters, crazy, loon, mad" etc. Very disrespectful to members of the general public who may have mental health problems

I don't feel I'm being PC on this. I just hate to see such casual prejudice held out as humour.

scrummummy · 19/12/2011 17:35

Main reason I posted was for everyone's thoughts and opinions. Yup, right from the outset I knew people would take an opposite stance and dis me. But everyone's point is valid my estimation because it make me think about it and what I should actually do.
Yes, its a bit confusing, the course of events are all over the place because the sequence of events isn't completely in time-line order, some stuff I haven't disclosed cos its way too mad and in situations like this you can think at times you're going bonkers over really trivial issues. I'm sorry it went off topic and some people feel they've been spoken to unfairly or mis-represented, that's the nature of AIBU. To be honest, I din't think I was being unreasonable. I am pretty angry, confused and generally pissed off, I felt I was being very reasonable to her. DH is offering to pay £101 for the bike and getting the matter closed. I've convinced him not to quit work until the new year (there are other reasons for that too - such as boredom and colleague incompetence). So all in all its bean useful.
Katie, Grape, Nannynick, Laquitar and everyone else you've all made insightful points

OP posts:
scrummummy · 19/12/2011 17:38

Why should the op pay for the bike? The nanny was seen collecting it! She's just being a PITA

No she wasn't seen collecting it.

Well I thought it was her with a casual glance.
if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck

OP posts:
lljkk · 19/12/2011 18:39

I'd pay £101 if I believed it would make her go away; I'd not pay if I thought she was going to turn into psycho stalker anyway. Let her chase U thru small claims, she'd have to prove the value of the bike.

£101 sounds like small beer money in comparison to salary cost of FT nanny, and far cheaper than redundancy had she worked for you long enough to get those rights.

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/12/2011 19:41

replied on your other thread, but from what i gather you placed the bike where the nanny left it every day - so obv the nanny thought it was safe - hence why you did

seems very strange that someone looking like your nanny just happened to appear and take the bike ..............

where did you get her from/agency/gumtree/word of mouth and did you check her ref (tho a tad late now lol)

cookcleanerchaufferetc · 19/12/2011 19:51

I would not pay anything as she clearly has not earns her wages properly, such as getting her hair down for 2 hours with kid in buggy. Also, paying could imply acknowledgement of wrong doing, and they op thought the bike was being collected by the nanny so oops. The nanny should have collected as planned.

I would also call ofsted, or threaten to call them to keep the nanny out of their lives.

I think the op is being incredibly naive to not change locks ... Coming home with them each day means nothing.

TrollopDollop · 19/12/2011 19:52

Simple.You calculate the cost for you to leave early to collect the children when she lost the keys. I am sure the bike and that will equal itself out. You also remind her the bike was left where she would normally leave it so therefore you took the same risk she was always happy to take herself. be

TrollopDollop · 19/12/2011 19:53

And change the locks.

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