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Nanny turned into Nanny for hell and a nutter (long sorry)

184 replies

scrummummy · 17/12/2011 22:00

Have posted in childcare but thought I'd get more traffic here. Help

My DH sacked the nanny on wed, it was a last straw type moment. Many things led up to it ie taking them to her house every day, not telling who the children were coming into contact with and only find out from DD1 (5) or what DD2(3) said (ish). Going to McD every day and buying them chocolate and ice cream (ice cream is health cos it contains calcium was the answer) every day, even though we specifically asked for this not to happen. Slightly more important was late taking to and picking up for school (sometimes 30mins - 1hour late take and pick up). Finally, last two straws, spent Tuesday in hairdressers get hair cut coloured and washed with DD2 in the buggy for the whole time. Last straw, was on Wednesday left the house with no keys, didn't inform me until 1 hour before school pick-up - to my yahoo email while I was at work didn't phone my mobile or work number, didn't phone DH mobile or work number, I was lucky I checked my email during my late lunch. I immediately phoned her repeatedly with no answer. So left work to get to school for pick up, called DH, he left work cos I asked him to sack her there and then, so that she couldn't make up excuses and try to talk me out of it, he's strong at this than me.

Thanks if you've read this far, this is now when the "fun" starts.

She had left her bike at our house. My DH told her to come and collect it in an hours time, giving me the opportunity to get home and calm down. She didn't come and collect it. That evening DH rung her ask when she was going to collect the bike and she said the following day.

I'm at home the following day to look after DD1 & 2 as we now no-longer have child care. I asked DH to put the bike outside in front gated garden so I wouldn't have to talk to her when she turned up to collect it.At lunchtime I saw someone who looked very much like her take the bike.

Following day DH is at home looking after the children and a Taxi arrives, driver says he's come to collect a bike, DH says its been taken. Next DH gets a call from the police, making an enquiry on behalf of the Nanny as to where her bike is. While this is going on at home I'm getting email's demanding money for the bike. DH explains to the Police Officer that the bike was taken the previous day, by he assumed the Nanny.

Overnight I get more and more weirder emails demanding more money for the bike as DH has either stolen it or put it in the bin, like the keys she claimed she couldn't find (we have three sets of keys on the mantelshelf, for her to take).

So after reading the overnight emails, DH contacts the police to discuss the matter. Later today a Police Sargent turns up at the door asking for the bike, DH invites him in shows that we have no bike, goes over all of the above with the PS. Show him the emails, PS talks to the Nanny (who has given him a different story) comes back to us and tells us that he has explained to her that there is (in his words) no case to answer and will only file an incident report and sends her on her way.

So WTF do we do if she turns in to a "From Hell" nanny as we have a new nanny starting in Jan and we are worried that she might do something reckless.

Help/ word of wisdom has any one dealt with a situation similar to this? Smile
Can tell you more about the madness if you want to have more shits and giggle

OP posts:
nannynick · 17/12/2011 22:49

Document everything, so if nanny persues a claim for wrongful dismissal you are able to recall the series of events as well as you can.
Dates of when you told her about not going to places, when you gave verbal warnings may be important to keep a record of things like that. Keep copies of any written warnings issued, plus all paperwork with regard to pay and contractual obligations.

GoingForGoalWeight · 17/12/2011 22:50

OK OP :)

I'm not that tough :) But I would have confronted her for you :)

scrummummy · 17/12/2011 22:51

We brought it inside over night after it was clear that she wasn't going to get it then took it back out in the morning.

OP posts:
suburbophobe · 17/12/2011 22:53

Wow, a DH AND a nanny..?!

Lucky you...

(Sometimes thats the best way to be....)....

Laquitar · 17/12/2011 22:56

I asked dh to put the bike outside....

Well, then it wasn't always outside. If it was outside you didn't have to ask dh to take it outside. Hmm

These threads wind me up like the ones with te bins, 'dh does the bins'. I mean if you want to sack the nanny sack her yourself. And if dh was ok with having the bike indoors and waiting for the nanny willing to open the door and face her the day before you could have done the same next day. If you take decisions then face them, don't hide behind your dh.

Now just pay for the bike and change the locks.

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2011 22:57

Right so that's my point.

She would have assumed the bike was safe inside the house and it wasn't. It was dumped, unsecured in your front garden.

If anything, this doesn't look good on you. For all you know she may tell the Police she thinks you dumped it or sold it out of spite because you sacked her for misconduct.

Be honest, would you have risked dumping a friends bike out there when they thought it was safe and secure inside your house?

foreverondiet · 17/12/2011 22:57

I'm still not clear, she left it outside and unsecured down side of house, but you left it in front garden? How much is the bike actually worth?

OldeChestnut · 17/12/2011 23:00

she's very scary when she want to be

and yet you were happy to leave her in sole charge of your children ?????

hmmmm

Laquitar · 17/12/2011 23:01

I left my broom the other day for 30 min and it was taken. A broom!

scrummummy · 17/12/2011 23:02

thanks going

Another thing that was part of the decision was that last week she took my children to A&E because SHE thought her breasts felt weird( no problem with her dong that but she didn't tell us, especially as DH gets home at 4.30 and she's paid to 6 but has never worked till this) She brought my children home at 6.30 after they spent 3 hours in A&E for the doctor to tell her it is nothing/ normal period stuff, also we phoned her numerous times but she didn't answer and her H didn't know where she was).
BTW I have spent most of this year with BC stage 3, MX, chemo etc.. I have finally after 9 months of hell gone back to work in sept and am finding my feet in a new job. the last thing I need is someone taking the piss out of what I went through. If it was a real appointment then tell us and we would have come home not an A&E appointment.

OP posts:
Laquitar · 17/12/2011 23:03

And did you show the police the 'scary' e-mails?

scrummummy · 17/12/2011 23:06

Sorry I think front garden side of the house is the same place, think L shaped Gated front garden, I say front garden because its not in the back garden the front/side is all at the front.Confused

OP posts:
scrummummy · 17/12/2011 23:07

Laquitar- yes of course I did, They watched me print off the emails and took them away.

OP posts:
kipperandtiger · 17/12/2011 23:07

If the police say you don't have to pay for it, maybe you can leave it. It would be rather coincidental if the bike was "stolen" by a woman who looked very similar to the nanny who just happened to know the bike would be out in the garden that day of all days. Hmm - some of my friends' kids leave their bikes out in the garden similar to what OP is describing though. Just goes to show.

Definitely change your locks, and report her to Oftsed.

kipperandtiger · 17/12/2011 23:08

If the police say you don't have to pay for it, maybe you can leave it. It would be rather coincidental if the bike was "stolen" by a woman who looked very similar to the nanny who just happened to know the bike would be out in the garden that day of all days. Hmm - some of my friends' kids leave their bikes out in the garden similar to what OP is describing though. Just goes to show.

Definitely change your locks, and report her to Ofsted.

kipperandtiger · 17/12/2011 23:08

(sorry, posted twice by mistake).

nannynick · 17/12/2011 23:11

Gated - Meaning what? It has a gate? It has a pincoded gate? It has a padlocked gate with only a limited number of keys?

Being gated means little I feel - someone could have been watching for the past few days/weeks/months and been waiting for an opportunity.

It could have been the nanny.

No one knows - as no one went out to ask who it was. Is that usual, not to ask someone who enters your garden who they are?

KatieMistletoe · 17/12/2011 23:11

You have put yourself in a stupidly vulnerable position. You have dismissed her without following the legal process and now her property which was in your care has disappeared.

However badly she has behaved she is your EMPLOYEE and as such has all the employment rights that come with that status. She has been dismissed without a disciplinary hearing which she has the right to be accompanied to and no option to appeal. Did you give her contractual notice?

Don't be surprised if she takes further action against you.

foreverondiet · 17/12/2011 23:11

Trip to A&E totally totally odd, (aside from your health issues) - and serious error in judgement, misconduct on that incident alone.

a) why to A&E and not to GP which would not have required any waiting?
and
b) why take kids with, how boring for them

If my nanny had to go to A&E for genuine reason would expect her to call me and say either:

a) she had to go to A&E could I come home from work immediately or
b) she was going by taxi to A&E could I meet her there to get the DC

Laquitar · 17/12/2011 23:14

Then tell her that the police have the e-mails and she wont come near you because if any damage happen to your house she will be the first suspect.

Did you employ her through agency? Did you have references? Is she OFFSET?

KatieMistletoe · 17/12/2011 23:14

Unless she's OFSTED registered (and most nannies are not) OFSTED won't do anything.

How long was she employed by you scummy?

WorraLiberty · 17/12/2011 23:14

I think we all 'get' why your DH sacked her...YANBU about that.

But I still don't get why your DH took the bike inside the house if it was so safe in the side passage? Confused

GoingForGoalWeight · 17/12/2011 23:15

Did you see any written proof of her A&E visit?

Laquitar · 17/12/2011 23:17

Offset? Grin
oftsed

foreverondiet · 17/12/2011 23:17

Further katiemistletoe - how long did she work for you?

Also did you pay her in lieu of notice? If you haven't then basically then its due to gross misconduct, which it maybe be (based on what you said) - but if you didn't give her any warnings then she may try and take you to a tribunal.

It might be best to pay up for new bike on condition she signs a waiver that she will not pursue you for any more money.