Nanny turned into Nanny for hell and a nutter (long sorry)

[scrummummy]

Have posted in childcare but thought I'd get more traffic here. Help

My DH sacked the nanny on wed, it was a last straw type moment. Many things led up to it ie taking them to her house every day, not telling who the children were coming into contact with and only find out from DD1 (5) or what DD2(3) said (ish). Going to McD every day and buying them chocolate and ice cream (ice cream is health cos it contains calcium was the answer) every day, even though we specifically asked for this not to happen. Slightly more important was late taking to and picking up for school (sometimes 30mins - 1hour late take and pick up). Finally, last two straws, spent Tuesday in hairdressers get hair cut coloured and washed with DD2 in the buggy for the whole time. Last straw, was on Wednesday left the house with no keys, didn't inform me until 1 hour before school pick-up - to my yahoo email while I was at work didn't phone my mobile or work number, didn't phone DH mobile or work number, I was lucky I checked my email during my late lunch. I immediately phoned her repeatedly with no answer. So left work to get to school for pick up, called DH, he left work cos I asked him to sack her there and then, so that she couldn't make up excuses and try to talk me out of it, he's strong at this than me.

Thanks if you've read this far, this is now when the "fun" starts.

She had left her bike at our house. My DH told her to come and collect it in an hours time, giving me the opportunity to get home and calm down. She didn't come and collect it. That evening DH rung her ask when she was going to collect the bike and she said the following day.

I'm at home the following day to look after DD1 & 2 as we now no-longer have child care. I asked DH to put the bike outside in front gated garden so I wouldn't have to talk to her when she turned up to collect it.At lunchtime I saw someone who looked very much like her take the bike.

Following day DH is at home looking after the children and a Taxi arrives, driver says he's come to collect a bike, DH says its been taken. Next DH gets a call from the police, making an enquiry on behalf of the Nanny as to where her bike is. While this is going on at home I'm getting email's demanding money for the bike. DH explains to the Police Officer that the bike was taken the previous day, by he assumed the Nanny.

Overnight I get more and more weirder emails demanding more money for the bike as DH has either stolen it or put it in the bin, like the keys she claimed she couldn't find (we have three sets of keys on the mantelshelf, for her to take).

So after reading the overnight emails, DH contacts the police to discuss the matter. Later today a Police Sargent turns up at the door asking for the bike, DH invites him in shows that we have no bike, goes over all of the above with the PS. Show him the emails, PS talks to the Nanny (who has given him a different story) comes back to us and tells us that he has explained to her that there is (in his words) no case to answer and will only file an incident report and sends her on her way.

So WTF do we do if she turns in to a "From Hell" nanny as we have a new nanny starting in Jan and we are worried that she might do something reckless.

Help/ word of wisdom has any one dealt with a situation similar to this?
Can tell you more about the madness if you want to have more shits and giggle

I would pay for her bike purely to get her off your back.

I would draft her a letter along the lines of "we do not accept liability for the loss of your bicycle. Your bicycle was placed in our enclosed garden at the agreed time of collection. However in order to bring this matter to a swift conclusion we are prepared to make you a payment of x as a goodwill gesture.

I am at the cash in hand request. Thank goodness you said no. It would be you as the employer that got into trouble

my friend had a similar problem with her lodger (now ex lodger) who damaged some furniture and so friend witheld deposit. she was advised by a soliciter friend to call the police and tell them she was being harrassed. Police visited, reviewed emails and logs of phonecalls etc. Police informed ex lodger that if she contacted my friend again she would be arrested.

She must be reported to ofsted etc.

Agree with KatieMistletoe, thank goodness you said no to the cash in hand request.

What's a nanny umbrella company (could you name them?) Asking because I'm wondering who the legal employer was, if say you were paying a company and they were then employing a nanny for you. Or do you simply mean a nanny payroll company (such as NannyTax, PayeForNannies, NannyPAYE) who just process the payroll for you?

Ofsted does not regulate nannies. They only register some nannies for purposes of tax credits/childcare vouchers. Registration is voluntary and the requirements for registration are what Ofsted will check, either the nanny meets requirements or not.

nannynick
It's nannytax, my DH uses an umbrella for his contracting and I swap the two terms - sorry
KatieMistletoe
Thanks for your support, we have endeavoured to do everything by the book, but sometimes with the care of children emotions do get in the way. She was only with us for 10 weeks and after the first month or so it was obvious she wasn't suitable which is when I started looking again. Things have come to a head and yes maybe it wasn't done totally by the book, but she was pushing me to the limit.

I'm an employment lawyer. As she has less than one tear of service, nanny cant bring an unfair dismissal claim (apart from in very limited circa which don't seem to apply here) She might try and bring a discrimination claim but that would seem to gave no prospects if success - i.e you did not treat her unfairly for a protected characteristic ( eg sex, race etc)

Most likely claim is a breach of contract claim for no notice and accrued holidays. You could defend that on the basis that you sacked her for gross misconduct. That being the case, she had breached the contract and wasn't due notice. She us still entitled to the hols though ( at least the statutory ones). Did you pay salary up yo termination date? If not, she would have an unlawful deductions claim too

Best thing to do is to pay the accrued salary. Sit tight on the notice. She gas three months less a day from the date of termination to bring a claim. If she does, you can either have a punt a defending it or settle it. Acas will help.

I wouldn't bother trying to retrospectively have disciplinary hearings buoy don't need to as she can't claim unfair dismissal. Even if she could, you could still argue before the tribunal that even if you had followed a fair process the same result would have been dismissal. It won't get you off the hook entirely but if the tribunal accepts that argument, it will seriously reduce any award made.

Hope this helps.

If she pursues the bike, I would pay but only after sending her a letter saying that the money is in full and final settlement of any claims she has arising out of her employment with you and the termination thereof. It won't be belt and braces to stop a claim but it might deter her. If you really want to draw a line, you could get a lawyer to draw up what is called a compromise agreement but she would need yo get legal advice for it to be enforceable ( you're expected to contribute £250 to her legal fees) and it might encourage a claim.

All in all - I'd just sit tight at the moment but do be very careful when you take on another nanny and certainly font sack someone with over a year's service like this or there is a big risk if a claim.

Right, that makes sense. So nannytax are just providing the payroll processing. They may have also provided a contract, but it's you who is the employer.

Is nanny working full time, such as say 8am-7pm Mon-Fri? If so £18,000 a year sounds possibly a bit on the low side which may be limiting your choices in good nannies.

With luck the nannies you are interviewing will be great.

I think it's possible to minimise the damage by sending a letter outlining what has happened and why and ensuring she has been paid everything she has to be and that she has been paid proper notice and holidays.

I'm on my phone so can't get the links I want but I'll post them tomorrow. You should also speak to NannyTax as legal advice is part of what you're paying for.

You need to make it your mission to ensure she is not allowed to work as a nanny again as she is a complete incompetent and dangerous idiot

where did you originally get this "nanny" from?

Jeez, don't really know what to say. She sounds umm nice? (sarcastic)

Change locks and forget about her, it won't do you any good to worry. Are you worried about your judgement because I am. I'm not sure a nanny is for you? prehaps after school club/nursery.

I think prehaps you should replace the bike as you left it in a place where it could be stolen? And you are not sure if it was her who stole collected it.

How sad, that the children would have gotten close to someone whose now been sacked, due to late school drop offs.
I understand that's not what you want, but I understand the being late thing, I'm like that with my own children.
What's the other crime? losing some keys?
and having one's hair done as any parent does with a toddler settled in a pram.
shrug

How many people will the kids get attached to and torn apart from over such little things?

If she'd been teaching your infants how to smoke I'd understand the 'outrage over the madness'

himy she was the nanny not the parent and WTF leaves a small child in a pram while they have their hair cut and coloured

I would pay for the bike. You didn't put it in a secure place, you can't be certain she was the one who took it, and she didn't ask you to leave it there for her to collect. You really did leave yourself quite open there. She probably did take it, but for the price of the bike, you get to remove her from your lives. I'd take that option and run with it tbh.

I would definitely have taken the same decision as you re getting shot of her though. She wouldn't have lasted long in my house either.

Wow.surely it would just be easier to look after your own kids?-how do you know the next nanny wont be a "psycho" too?

Anyone can leave their tot in a pram while having their hair done, obviously you use common sense to determine whether they're tired at that point, and likely to relax and nap, take toys and snacks.

What planet are you on instantly thinking that's not appropriate?

I wander what kind of servatnts you guys have if taking ones child to a hairdresser 'isn't appropriate', is taking them to a supermarket abuse too?
Could take the same amount of time with the poor child sitting in a pram.
How horrific.

Most nannies are young girls.
Good luck finding your Mary Poppins

I think one or two of the issues alone may not have been grounds for sacking himy but the combination of so many issues of varying severity over only 10 weeks is a massive cause for concern and I would be looking to dismiss the person too. FWIW the nanny I employed was not a young girl, she was in her late 30s, she took the kids to her house, didn't tell me in any great detail who they'd spent time with, took them to the supermarket etc all of which I had no problem with because I trusted her implicitly to care for my children well and make good choices in my absence. I would have had no issue with her having an occasional hair cut if necessary (she never did though) but I think the addition of colouring is just too long to leave the child sitting. Equally, minor lateness is forgiveable as a one off, but 45 minutes? Not on. And she wasn't a servant what is it that makes people think nannies = posh family/servant etc, yet never say the same about a childminder?

It takes at least 2/3 hours to have my hair cut and coloured. That is way to long for a child to be sat in a buggy. i wouldn't even expect my 7 and 10 year old to wait for me for that long. The nanny was being paid!!

The hair thing is a red herring. My DD is older now and I may have taken her to the hairdressers when she was younger if I had no alternative. But that was my daughter.

The point is, going to the hairdresser during work time isn't appropriate. How many other employers would be happy for you to take a couple of hours out of their time to go get your hair done?

And leaving them at school for an extra 45 minutes is just cruel imo. Imagine being 4 and not knowing if someone was going to pick you up.

OP, if you are happy that the police aren't going to prosecute you, I wouldn't pay for the bike either.

Change the bloody locks, she could easily have got keys cut.

himy,

Read the whole thread! It's not based on purely the haircut incident but continued late pick ups from school, not feeding kids, feeding them crap like McDonalds specifically against parents wishes - all absolutely unacceptable.

Also right to say that having a nanny doesn't make you "posh" so no need for frankly stupid remarks about Mary Poppins, servants and looking after your own kids. I am a nurse and employ a nanny - is nursing a "posh" job then?

Agree to change the locks - getting keys cut would have been easy.

I think this nanny behaved awfully and I'm suprised you held onto her for so long, I would have got rid as soon as.

himy. The nanny was being paid to look after the children. I don't think it is unreasonable for the op to expect her paid employee to colour her hair in her own time.