This person was being a bit of a penis, right?

[BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers]

Two AIBUs in five minutes. Probably need to wind me neck in...

I got a christmas card this morning, not meant for us. I don't even know how it got to my house; my house number is 37, it had 68 on the envelope. Imagine I live on Dave Street, the envelope had Dave Road on it.

Opened it up without thinking, then saw it addressed to Sheila and Peter. There was a pretty lengthy message in it from Gaynor and Mike, who live in London (I live Midlands) It was quite a nice message and I thought what a shame that Sheila and Peter will miss out on the card! There was a London 'phone number at the bottom so I thought I would do a good deed and let the sender know that their card had not got to the intended recipient". Call went like this:

"Hello?"

Me: "Hello! Sorry to bother you, but am I speaking to Peter?"

Peter: "Yeah"

Me: "Oh good, I recieved a card from you this morning but it was not meant for me, it was sent to someone called Gaynor and Mike. I just wanted to let you know that it has been sent to the wrong address and that you might want to send another one."

Peter:

Merry christmas to you too, bollockchops!

You need to disguise your voice then ring Peter back, pretending to be Gaynor. Tell him that you've still got piles after the last time and you definitely won't be doing that again, so he can stop harrassing you with christmas cards with baubles and candles on them.

Then get a man to ring him and be very jealous, angry and threatening.

PM me their address. I will send them a lovely Christmas card...

The card was shit tbf. It looked like one of those ones what get pushed through your door from the local church, inviting you to the festive services.

I'll send them one of the ones DD made from the reject pile. There's ones where she drew a snow man and made his face like this

<
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which is scary, too scary for my elderly relatives. Pete could have that. It's very glittery.

Mike the Maniac, that should be. He's so furious he can't spell his own name.

Well that didn't work

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You must phone back Baubles and ask for Sheila this time.
This thread is brilliant.

:o at Suepurblybilt. Haven't gotten any cards yet, so any the first cards that come in will be put up, no matter the addressee.

Oh I give up. The snowman looked like a death mask. Imagine it.

I'd even be ok with scary ones :-)

I'm imagining it. I'm also thinking of the drawerful of pots of that evil glittery stuff you chuck in cards of people you hate. I could add a ton of that to Peter Penis' card. Shelia will hate him forever.

And their hoover will die the Death of a Thousand Glittery Bits.

Because of Baby Jesus's birthday, I always glance to make sure that my neighbors' cards aren't mix with mine. Only takes a few seconds. Happened the other day.

I always accord the wrongly addressed cards with great respect and hang them with my own, I think someone's gone to the effort of writing a nice card so it deserves to be properly treated

Dutchy, PM me yer address. I'll send you a card.

We will all follow you so mynewpassion. The letter-opener shall be our symbol and you will lead the way. Onwards, to a brave new world of doing-the-postman's-job-for-them! How happy we'll be .

he might have thought you were having a whinge about receiving someones else post?
Or he is just an ignorant git which is more likely.
I got a mobile phone message from a child the other day:
Mum, footballs cancelled its raining come get me.
Called him back:
me - Hi you have left a message for your mum on my mobile by mistake
him - oh, well can she come and pick me up
me - erm no I dont know your mum, you must have dialled me by mistake
him - if you dont know my mum why are you ringing me?

Really wish I hadnt bothered......

I think you have intercepted a secret coded message. "Peter" and "Sheila" are based in a secret underground bunker in London, awaiting a phone call from "Mike" and "Gaynor" with further instructions. Who knows what you have set in motion

"me - Hi you have left a message for your mum on my mobile by mistake
him - oh, well can she come and pick me up"

The Baby Jesus was born in June

Sheila sent the card to Gaynor, including spouses names as a courtesy.

Peter and Mike don't actually give a toss.

Shurrup Stratters. Were you there? probably

The Googles told me.

I am Gike. Mike and I are one. the wrong Sheeter did us goes way beyond The Berni incident and I cannot get over it.