This person was being a bit of a penis, right?

[BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers]

Two AIBUs in five minutes. Probably need to wind me neck in...

I got a christmas card this morning, not meant for us. I don't even know how it got to my house; my house number is 37, it had 68 on the envelope. Imagine I live on Dave Street, the envelope had Dave Road on it.

Opened it up without thinking, then saw it addressed to Sheila and Peter. There was a pretty lengthy message in it from Gaynor and Mike, who live in London (I live Midlands) It was quite a nice message and I thought what a shame that Sheila and Peter will miss out on the card! There was a London 'phone number at the bottom so I thought I would do a good deed and let the sender know that their card had not got to the intended recipient". Call went like this:

"Hello?"

Me: "Hello! Sorry to bother you, but am I speaking to Peter?"

Peter: "Yeah"

Me: "Oh good, I recieved a card from you this morning but it was not meant for me, it was sent to someone called Gaynor and Mike. I just wanted to let you know that it has been sent to the wrong address and that you might want to send another one."

Peter:

Merry christmas to you too, bollockchops!

poor sheila and peter.

we keep getting cards for a Mr and Mrs Donelly. Our neighbour has lived on the street for 30 years and swears that no-one called Donelly ever lived in out house. Last year the Donellys were invited to a very swish wedding in Dublin, and i was quite put out that DH wouldn't let me go to it, and returned the invitation to the sender.

I feel like digging the card back out of the bin, ringing Pete back and saying "Look, wanker..."

I to with the theory that they had a row in the past as well.

When Sheila started writing the Christmas cards Peter told Sheila not to send Gaynor and Mike a Christmas card any more. Sheila thought Peter was being a penis and carried on regardless as she is very fond of Gaynor and she even included their home number in the hope that Gaynor and Mike would call to try and resolve their differences.

OP when you phoned and spoke to Peter he was absolutely furious with Sheila. Not you. So don't take it personally.

I have thought this too, Clowns.

I have thought too much about this

I think I have the answer - maybe sheeter met mike and Gaynor somewhere (on holiday maybe) and exchanged addresses (or rather made Mike give them his address). and Mike gave him a false address - because he hated them adn never wanted to see them again.

and maybe sheeter only realized this when you phoned to say it had gone to the wrong address!

Put sheeter's address up and we will all send them cards but with your name on them?

NB - would explain why it had address and phone number in it!

Could we do a virtual flashmob on Peter and Sheila? A card flashmob? Pretty please. I'm sure bollockchops Peter would love some extra cards. I bet he doesn't get many.

I am roffling at this thread. Especially SheeTer and bollockchops.

Oh, and yes Bups, ring him back. That'd be hilarious. For us of course.

Why open a letter not address to you in the first place? Not sure Peter is the initial Penis in this situation.

I'd love to send a card to sheeter. Please.
I'm very bored waiting in for shitty link which won't arrive anyway I could even do a handmade card. DS would help which would make it look extra shite special and thoughtful. Yes?

And what Stratters says too.

I am crying at a card flashmob for SheeTer. Imagine the confusion on his little bollockchoppy face.

It came through my door. It is fair game to be opened.

why would you check the address mynewpassion? bupcakes was just trying to be helpful after discovering the card had been sent to the wrong address

Yeah, bitch.

I saw the error and tried to right it. Don't give me no hard time, girlfriend.

Baubles go on, call Sheeter's number again just for us, pleeease . Just feign deep concern about the 'lost' Christmas card. And report back.

You could send a card back, purporting to be from Mike and Gaynor.

"Dear Peter the Penis, I've told you before not to send Christmas cards to this address. After what happened at the Bernie Inn, I can't believe you have the gall to continue in this ridiculous charade. Don't pretend you don't know what I'm on about either, you miscalculating after dinner drink non spending fuck nugget. I saw the way you were eyeing up Gaynor's Goods as well, don't think I haven't forgotten that. I pity Sheila the Saint putting up with your wandering eye and your tight fistedness. Next time you send a card, I'll burn an effigy of you, take a photo and send it back.

Now fuck off.

All the best,
Mike then Manica (Not to be confused with Mike and the Mechanics)"

mynewpassion - because the baby Jesus is having a birthday and so we are all getting lots of cards plopping through our doors. Do you imagine we all scrutinise the address every time, mouth-breathing carefully and tracing with our fingers, before slitting them open? No, most people rip open all interesting looking post with teeth and claws as soon as it plops on the mat. You don't have to be a penis to open a card delivered to your home without wondering if it's for you.

Sue, my hero.

Mike and the Mechanics

I think Mike/Gaynor are Peter/Sheila's swinging partners. They met online initially then came to a regular arrangement. Peter isn't really into it but went along with Sheila's wishes just to keep their marriage exciting. Peter is the kind of man who doesn't believe in mixing work and play, he's furious that Sheila has overstepped the mark and sent a Christmas card without his knowledge.

Yes, that's it.

Now that is a card and a half.

Shall I do a Google Streetview on SheeTer's house, to see if there is any pampas grass in the front garden?

veering into criminal stalking now

Yes, why not?