This person was being a bit of a penis, right?

[BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers]

Two AIBUs in five minutes. Probably need to wind me neck in...

I got a christmas card this morning, not meant for us. I don't even know how it got to my house; my house number is 37, it had 68 on the envelope. Imagine I live on Dave Street, the envelope had Dave Road on it.

Opened it up without thinking, then saw it addressed to Sheila and Peter. There was a pretty lengthy message in it from Gaynor and Mike, who live in London (I live Midlands) It was quite a nice message and I thought what a shame that Sheila and Peter will miss out on the card! There was a London 'phone number at the bottom so I thought I would do a good deed and let the sender know that their card had not got to the intended recipient". Call went like this:

"Hello?"

Me: "Hello! Sorry to bother you, but am I speaking to Peter?"

Peter: "Yeah"

Me: "Oh good, I recieved a card from you this morning but it was not meant for me, it was sent to someone called Gaynor and Mike. I just wanted to let you know that it has been sent to the wrong address and that you might want to send another one."

Peter:

Merry christmas to you too, bollockchops!

- because the baby Jesus is having a birthday and so we are all getting lots of cards plopping through our doors. Do you imagine we all scrutinise the address every time, mouth-breathing carefully and tracing with our fingers, before slitting them open? No, most people rip open all interesting looking post with teeth and claws as soon as it plops on the mat. You don't have to be a penis to open a card delivered to your home without wondering if it's for you

^This has had me doing the 'silent laugh' in the street when I remember it. My kids think I've lost it even more than they already did