This person was being a bit of a penis, right?

[BaublesandCuntingCarolSingers]

Two AIBUs in five minutes. Probably need to wind me neck in...

I got a christmas card this morning, not meant for us. I don't even know how it got to my house; my house number is 37, it had 68 on the envelope. Imagine I live on Dave Street, the envelope had Dave Road on it.

Opened it up without thinking, then saw it addressed to Sheila and Peter. There was a pretty lengthy message in it from Gaynor and Mike, who live in London (I live Midlands) It was quite a nice message and I thought what a shame that Sheila and Peter will miss out on the card! There was a London 'phone number at the bottom so I thought I would do a good deed and let the sender know that their card had not got to the intended recipient". Call went like this:

"Hello?"

Me: "Hello! Sorry to bother you, but am I speaking to Peter?"

Peter: "Yeah"

Me: "Oh good, I recieved a card from you this morning but it was not meant for me, it was sent to someone called Gaynor and Mike. I just wanted to let you know that it has been sent to the wrong address and that you might want to send another one."

Peter:

Merry christmas to you too, bollockchops!

OMG.

This thread has near done me in. Literally. I laughed so hard I inhaled a chunk of potato and nearly choked.

Let me know if you need me to send Peela Sheeter some cards from the US. I stand at the ready!

Firstly, there was a postcode. That doesn't exist either. I think that whoever came up with the theory about SheeTer and Gike meeting on holiday and false addresses being exchanged might have shit in the pan with that one...

Anyway, sorry for late update. I had to get quite drunk last night. DH rang SheeTer's house and got the man of the house on the 'phone. Well, to say I am baffled is a fucking understatement. Basically, DH said that he was the husband of the lady who'd rang him to explain about the stray christmas card. He said that "My wife and I are concerned that you think she rang you in dodgy circumstances. Well, she didn't, she was trying to do you a good turn. I just wanted to clear that up in case yoiu thought someone was casing your house or summat." HE WAS APOLOGETIC and quite chummy with Mr Cunting on the 'phone.

Obviously, Peter doesn't deal with wimmin. Sexist pig.

I knew it.

[disappointed emoticon]

So that's it? No threatening to "do you in" for opening his post? No offers for you both to replace Gike at their next swinging rally?

Did he even say how they knew Miknor?

[hopeful]

This is the first time I've posted on MN, just wanted to applaud you for a truly outstanding thread, have thoroughly enjoyed reading every post.
For the record, I would've just binned the card in question but I'm so glad you didn't. We received a card addressed to the previous occupants of our house the other day but I reckon if they didn't bother informing them of their new address, they can't be that good friends in the first place....

Id ring back and fart down the phone

Anticipating SheeTer sending a card intentionally to the Cuntings next year.

Be very careful, Baubles. I think this is an elaborate ruse and it's Mr Cunting's way of initiating you into the heady world of wifeswapping. I think he drenched SheeTer up from the very underbelly of the t'interweb.

Think, Baubles. He takes it upon himself to ring Peter and surprise, suprise all very amicable. Jovial even.

Mark my words, next thing you know SheeTer will be standing on your doorstep, next to your newly planted pampas grass, having popped by to collect the card. And you just know that Sheila is wearing a basque under all that Per Una.

Trust no one. They're all in on it. Even the postman. Debauched, I tell you. Bastards.

Ooh, yes. Peter will be smoothing down his slacks in eager anticipation and jingling his house keys at you with a meaningful glint in his eye.

I think Peter will bring the pampas grass as a gift. And Mr Cunting will dash outside and plant it immediately. He and Peter will bond over the hole whilst you and Sheila are expected to get down and dirty with the vol au vonts.

I soooo think sheeter are going to turn up on your doorstep now.

I have visions of a tasteful picture of the four of you, opening some champers, whilst wearing santa hats and throwing snow (the fact is has yet to snow is irrelevant).

Y'know, like on those personalised card adverts.

The name's Bond. BondOverTheHole...

They could buy that snow in a can stuff?

Bond over the hole!

Totally swingers. I see the signs.

Have chuckled over this thread!

Boringly wanted to say I had a similar situation a few years ago with card addressed to someone random at not my address - called the number the person had left in the card to tell them - but the number wasn't recognised...so they couldn't even copy their own number correctly, let alone someone else's address...

So YWNBU calling the penises /peni, I would have done the same

Did you private your telephone number OP?If so, his battery may have ran dry and he had no way of calling you back?

If not he is an ungrateful piece of shyte.

I think you did a decent thing :)

I wouldn't let that idiot put you off trying to help again.

I'm pretty sure Peter is a home phone man. He has a mobile but it's old, and rarely turns it on.

Per Una, vol au vonts, snow in a can.

Let it be known if I were to ever to consider bonding over the hole then not one of those things would make my shortlist of mood enhancers. Not one.

Step up your game, Sheeter.

I think 'rarely turns it on' was the reason Sheila suggested this filth to Peter in the first place.

Do you think the Cuntings are a random hit, or was it planned?

Not just planned, SS. Carefully orchestrated.

Clearly I am very late to this thread but just wanted to thank you all for cheering up my afternoon