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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that this was ridiculous...

571 replies

MeltedAdventCalendarChocolates · 11/12/2011 23:17

Sure he probably was lying. Maybe he wasn't and should have had the maturity to handle it differently, who knows, but for a random stranger to handle this KID in this way is horrific!

AIBU?

OP posts:
redlac · 14/12/2011 23:29

Don't think Chewing the Fat was shown at an audience friendly time down south but I thought of The Big Man as soon as I saw it too

thementalist · 14/12/2011 23:43

I did act like the big man, I am Blush thinking back.

We were on a 4 hour train journey DP, DD and I, packed train, and we were separated. DD and I were in the middle of the group of guys, DP was a bit further down. As soon as the train started they produced a huge amount of alcohol and were already really drunk, loud and sweary. DD was a bit scared, i asked them nicely a few times if they could keep it down, stop banging into us, etc, then one of them tried to through a can of lager to his friend in the row in front of us at full force, it narrowly missed DD's head and smashed into the back of the seat in front bouncing back to hit her.

I jumped up and started shouting at them all "Which one of you fucking idiots threw that?" Acted generally like a crazy possessed person, pointing in their faces and shouting that they nearly hit a child and shouted Blush they all apologised to me, as I ranted and swore, then I stormed off up the train shouting "I am going to find the inspector" At this point they started shouting "fuck off you crazy bitch" and various other insults!

DP then had a go at me for confronting so many of them, saying if things had turned nasty he couldn't have defended DD and me against so many of them, but I genuinely never thought. People all the way up the carriage were being nice and saying "well done" Another big group of nice, yet drunk, men brought us into their group to sit and amused DD for the rest of the journey by doing magic tricks and letting her use their ipad, whilst trying to share their vodka with DP and I....It was a crazy train!

Not my proudest moment!

TwoIfBySea · 14/12/2011 23:53

Poor Big Man will be hounded now and his life made a misery because he was pushed to the point by that awful little jerk. And listening to the Main family defend him, the father going on about "his day in court" when what that really means is they want compensation.

Oh god but it is disgusting and the police once again on the side of the ned. Well, good luck because this is why neds behave like that and now they have a golden ticket to continue because no one will dare confront their behaviour.

Suddenly there is a big scratch on the boy's face and we have the sob story over why he did it. Excuses, excuses, excuses!

A couple of weeks ago I had taken dts to McDonalds (yes I know there is my first mistake) after visiting my mum in hospital. Behind us sat a group of 3 teenage girls and my god but I've never heard anything so loud and obnoxious in my life. But no one said anything.

Why? Because that was what they wanted, singing loudly, screeching at everything and if one single person, staff or customer, had stood up and told them to quieten it down a bit they would have turned like a pack and that would have been it for that person.

Why? Because thanks to attitudes like the Main family and the attitudes of the authorities no one dares, everyone is too scared and when one man did crack the punishment is immediate.

F*ck this for a country.

sozzledchops · 14/12/2011 23:58

He's NLT a ned- you don't know what you are talking about. The young guy acted like a prick but he is not responsible for all this going viral.

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 14/12/2011 23:58

Ah. I get into scrapes like this if I begin to sense that anyone or anything is threatening my DCs. Many of the 'situations' have been associated with public transport, and being stuck with eejits in a confined space.

The trouble is, the adrenalin is a powerful rush. You have to train yourself to calm down at the very first sound of 'Sorry.'

Mind you, the guy on the train being ejected in the video clip wasn't anywhere near sorry. He was still in the fuck-off zone.

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 15/12/2011 00:01

Last post was to mentalist, sorry.

sozzledchops · 15/12/2011 00:03

Or NOT even.

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 15/12/2011 00:04

If the Big Man sets up a defence fund he'll get a few bob.

TwoIfBySea · 15/12/2011 00:04

Ned is an attitude, it is how we use the word so maybe I do know what I am talking about because he was behaving like a ned. Non-educated delinquent, just because he is at Uni (and remind me to advise my sons against ever going to Heriot Watt if that is their standard) doesn't mean he is ruled out of the ned club.

When the police turned up at his home he put in a complaint against the big man, not before.

albertcamus · 15/12/2011 00:10

twoifs fck this for a country*

I agree with you 100%.

My son, now aged 25, has had Type 1 diabetes since he was 15. He's had his fair share of hypos, some aggravated by self-inflicted hangovers (few teenage boys are angels, sometimes diabetics really want to be the SAME as every other kid), but he would NEVER behave like that lad in public, and if by any chance he did, DH and I would NOT speak up for him ... because whatever the reasons, his language and attitude were unacceptable.

So it makes me sad that this country produces kids with attitudes like this, and their families who defend them and who will now inflict stress on the big man who just wanted to get home to his own family after a day's work.

That said, as a teacher, I've just got back from a day trip to City of London with Year 9s, including the Bank of England, the Gherkin and Covent Garden. They were great, as well as being NORMAL 14 year olds. What was not good was the amount of filthy looks they received all day long from the moment we boarded the train in the morning until we returned, from regular commuters, people in the street, people in shops etc. purely for the crime of being a teenager. The looks extended to my three colleagues too, how dare we enrich their education by encroaching on adult territory in broad daylight?

We reap what we sow when we presuppose that all kids will cause trouble.

thementalist · 15/12/2011 00:11

If he was not a ned he would have either bought a ticket or got off the train. Normal nice people do not sit on a train without paying and swear at the inspector and act in that way.

He was holding up a whole train full of passengers and he could not have cared less.

I would donate to a big man defense fund. Too many people get away with things like this because no one does anything to stop them. I am not saying violence is the answer. But why should one wee dafty be allowed to sit there on a train, refuse to pay like everyone else, hold people up for appointments/work/whatever?

LineRunnerCrouchingReindeer · 15/12/2011 00:37

That's what would have pissed me off most of all - being held up on a night-time train for bloody ages. He was at the 'next station' he was being told to get off onto because he didn't have a valid ticket. That's where that train was staying until he left; or the police arrived; or he was simply allowed to travel for free; or someone intervened and either (a) paid for his ticket, or (b) removed him with the permission of the conductor.

TwoIfBySea · 15/12/2011 00:39

albert, your ds is a credit to you then. My best friend since high school is diabetic, she has never used it as an excuse to get away with anything and we are knocking on the door of 40!

I know what you mean about your class though. And it is because people are expecting the bad behaviour, because of people like the Main boy and the girls I saw in McDonalds - painting all kids as hooligans who can do what they like. I like that they would have perhaps dismissed some of the prejudice by being...well...normal!

Nobody is an angel but when you get caught being an idiot the best thing to do is hold your hands up to what you did and apologise. Not come up with one million reasons why we should pity the fool. (Yes, I went there!)

TwoIfBySea · 15/12/2011 00:44

And an aside to this. Dts1's teacher was talking about what happens when you get in to trouble a few weeks ago, his class is a bit alpha sometimes, there are a few kids who bully etc. She asked who was punished when they had done something wrong.

Dts and two others put their hands up.

Out of a class of 31. The three best behaved kids in class surprise, surprise (dts and one of the others won the class term prize for good behaviour.) So, indeed, you reap what you sow.

redlac · 15/12/2011 07:35

I agree with Two - he is a Ned and it is about an attitude. He may not be wearing a skip cap and his trackies tucked into white socks but he is a ned. Swearing at a man trying to do his job, acting the smart Alec and being generally a wee get? That's a ned in my book I'm afraid, doesn't matter if he's wearing adidas or Versace.

redlac · 15/12/2011 07:41

From reading both the fare dodger and his fathers FB page it is clear that it's his dad who is pushing this publicity and 'his day in court'. He has a wee slot on QVC apparently

The fare dodger is now accusing the press of making stuff up too

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 15/12/2011 08:27

Thank you LineRunner. Young kids my arse. These are all over the age of 18, whatever the rights and wrongs of the situation I'm sick of people making excuses for people.

bronze · 17/12/2011 16:42

I wonder how people feel after this

PineCones · 28/02/2012 19:25

If I were that woman with the children, I would have been more upset about having them witness the bullying and rude behaviour of the young man, than seeing him get his just desserts.
Let's all hug some hoodies! Maybe if we're lucky they won't knife us!
I'm sorry but I live in London and am tired of bleeding heart types who would rather watch people abused and sworn at then good old fashioned have a go hero-ing.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/02/2012 20:42

PineCones this is a very, very old thread.

PineCones · 28/02/2012 23:07

I know Blush
Had to get my two penny'orth in.
As some people may have noticed, have practically spent all of today on MN Blush

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