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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that nursery workers deserve more than a box of chocolates at christmas?

174 replies

choceyes · 09/12/2011 20:57

From what I gather from Mumsnet, and other forums is that, most people only give a £5 box of chocs for nursery staff to share. And this is as recognition for their hard work for a full year.

i really don't get it. Especially when I read the thread about tippign the hairdresser. Say £5 a time, 4 times a year? That's £20. And that for the person who looks after your hair. Then why is it acceptable to spend a relative pittance when it comes to the people that look after your children?

Nursery staff are on a very low wage, not much more than minimum wage I believe. They do a hard job. most people must be happy with the care they give, otherwise they woulnd't be using the nursery. So why not "tip" them generously at christmas?

I will be spending about £50 on the keyworkers and other staff that look after my 2 (3yrs and 15 months).

AIBU?

OP posts:
GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 09/12/2011 21:00

Bully for you that can afford it. I couldn't spend £50 on them, I guess that means I just don't appreciate them enough... Hmm

Hardgoing · 09/12/2011 21:00

YANBU to personally decide you want to spend more.

YABU to try to imply anyone who doesn't is morally in the wrong.

2cats2many · 09/12/2011 21:00

YABU.

Mine are getting a case of wine, but not everyone is in the same financial position as me and £5 on a box of chocolates ACTUALLY is a generous present for some people to give in relation to their overall incomes.

gordyslovesheep · 09/12/2011 21:00

No I can only afford a £5 box of chocs - making me an evil nursery nurse hating harpy who is going to hell

HandMini · 09/12/2011 21:01

A tip in this situation is to show your thanks, and if you can only afford a fruit basket / 5 quid box of chocs / whatever, then it's still nice to give it.

lurkinginthebackground · 09/12/2011 21:02

YANBU but neither is anyone else!
It is ok not to give everyone a gift at Christmas, it is a very kind gesture but not everyone can afford to give presents to everyone they would like to.
Sometimes a nice card or small but thoughtful gift is just as appreciated.

sosickofthesoundofscreaming · 09/12/2011 21:02

wow. Wish I had your budget tbh. I struggle to pay the fees, let alone spending more on gifts to the nursery staff than I intend on my DH.

I think it depends upon your means, the particular nursery etc etc.

(There is also the old adage that it 'is the thought that counts', no?)

A gift generously given, no matter what the monetary value, is surely the point...

HeidiKat · 09/12/2011 21:02

YANBU if you can afford it and you want to buy for them, but your post sounds a bit judgy and I worry that others will feel pressured into spending money they don't have at this time of year to keep up with the joneses.

Pishtushette · 09/12/2011 21:03

Can I draw your attention to this?

Meglet · 09/12/2011 21:03

I can't afford to spend £50 on them but I am trying not to give them chocolates. I bought them all Lush stuff when I had a staff discount.

They do end up with a lot of chocolates.

JoyceDivision · 09/12/2011 21:04

Eh?

So what's the protocol for dd's recption teacher and 3 support staff who are all very good?

LovesBloominChristmas · 09/12/2011 21:04

I can't afford to get them anything but I do know that their staff party includes a free bar so feel I have contributed enough thanks.

annalovesmrbates · 09/12/2011 21:04

Is it not the thought that counts?

annalovesmrbates · 09/12/2011 21:04

Is it not the thought that counts?

ladyintheradiator · 09/12/2011 21:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shakey1500 · 09/12/2011 21:04

£50?? Up to you of course and great that you can afford it but it's way OTT in my opinion and budget.

usualsuspect · 09/12/2011 21:05

I'm so glad you can afford to give them £50

that makes you the best person that ever posted on MN

Well done

Ciske · 09/12/2011 21:05

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but they're already getting paid, why do we have to give them presents, and expensive ones at that? Surely a Christmas card is a nice enough gesture to show we're thinking of them?

DialMforMummy · 09/12/2011 21:06

Well, I don't tip the hairdresser. Grin
I agree they are not paid a great deal and in my case they are fabulous women. But december is a bit of a tough month financially so they will have to make do with a personalised card each and a tin of biscuits later in the year when people are not quite as submerged with gifts.

breatheslowly · 09/12/2011 21:08

Is that £50 each or combined?

YABU to dictate what anyone gives anyone else.

On the other hand we will be spending more like £70 on presents at DD's nursery and there is only one of her, so cough up you tight wad.

molly3478 · 09/12/2011 21:08

I am a nursery worker and me and my lot love, love, love chocolates being brought in by parents. We dont want anything else just chocs please!!

Also if you tip hairdressers a fiver Shock you are either to rich or completely bonkers. You are in the minority of people if you can afford 50 quid for us none of our parents could afford that, I feel guilty enough about the tin of chocs

VickityBoo · 09/12/2011 21:08

Oh my god! How rude, expecting people to spend more because apparently it shows more thanks!

Sorry. Our lo goes to playgroup and a nursery which currently both blow our budget (roll on January). A fiver is generous at the moment.

feels ashamed that I was only going to do cards

troisgarcons · 09/12/2011 21:11

Nursery staff are on a very low wage, not much more than minimum wage I believe

And they will get oodles of tax credits etc.

You only tip 2 people in this world, your hairdresser - otherwise you risk looking like a dog next time she is let loose with scissors - and your babysitter. You might tip a regular taxi driver.

I'm afraid nursery workers are employed - the fact that you empty your bank account into the nursery company coffers every month and that leaves you broke (because they know they have you over a barrel) is neither here nor there.

breatheslowly · 09/12/2011 21:12

Vickity - I think a thoughfully written card, explaining how much you appreciate the care and attention given to your DC can be more memorable and meaningful than a present - I would go for it.

Original poster
choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:13

But hairdressers are already getting paid too? and more people seem to be willing to tip them more than a nursery staff.

And people seem to give massive bonuses (hunderds of pounds in some cases) to their nannies, from what I gather from reading some threads. Why is this OK? And nannies get better pay anyway?

Sorry I'm not trying to be smug about it. I just don't get it.

OP posts:
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