to think that nursery workers deserve more than a box of chocolates at christmas?

[choceyes]

From what I gather from Mumsnet, and other forums is that, most people only give a £5 box of chocs for nursery staff to share. And this is as recognition for their hard work for a full year.

i really don't get it. Especially when I read the thread about tippign the hairdresser. Say £5 a time, 4 times a year? That's £20. And that for the person who looks after your hair. Then why is it acceptable to spend a relative pittance when it comes to the people that look after your children?

Nursery staff are on a very low wage, not much more than minimum wage I believe. They do a hard job. most people must be happy with the care they give, otherwise they woulnd't be using the nursery. So why not "tip" them generously at christmas?

I will be spending about £50 on the keyworkers and other staff that look after my 2 (3yrs and 15 months).

AIBU?

Money is REALLY crass and patronaising; it turns them into servants rather than professionals. Don't.

It's also pernicious to single out one or two staff who YOU think look after your child the most, when for all you know it could be someone else who has the most contact with your DC. You're not there, after all.

If you must spend £50, buy the biggest box of chocolates you ever saw.

As a nursery nurse, I'd feel embarrassed to accept such a gift. Now I do love a nice box of biscuits for tea break or a box of choccies to have one after my lunch. But to be honest a thank you means so much to me and makes my day.

I think its nice if you are doing it choceyes, but it is definitely not expected as is out of the reach of most its nearly the equivilent of 20 hours of nursery you are giving them which is a lot of money. Its nice you appreciate them though as not many people do, but its our job as such to be second mothers as such to our keychildren.

At dd's nursery there is a scheme where each of us parents gives £5 and then another parent on the comittee ensures each of the nursery staff get £20 worth of vouchers. I think this a good scheme and means they don't get masses of chocolates that they probably don't want.

I might make up a mini hamper of treats for the staff for when they have their breaks....put them in a box...thinking of mugs...hot chocolate sachets or a pack of really nice hot choc...some posh biccies and chocolate....that might be nice?

What else could I put in it?

[hijacks thread]

hhmm, a lot of interesting points here. I certainly dont' want the nursery staff to feel patronised. Maybe it is too much then. See I love Mumsnet for stuff like this. I had no point of reference before as I don't know many other parents with kids in nursery and it's not something you talk about is it?

YABU to tell other people what they should be doing, which seems to mean they adopting your personal world view. YANBU to waste your £50 however the hell you like.

sorry I really didn't meant to tell other people what they should be doing. Honestly that wasn't my intention. Like I said I was genuinely curious. Sorry if my OP was judgemental.

Choc... You sound lovely and thoughtful.

DD's nursery nurses are very good, but so is my postman, the person that packs my online shopping, the farmer who grew the veggies we ate yesterday, the binman.... This is why I pay for their services.

I can see why people would tip or give presents to volunteers, but I really don't understand this moral pressure to tip paid workers. It seems such an arbitrary decision who is doing an 'important' job that deserves pressies and extra recognition, and who is doing a normal job and should just get on with it.

I have 2 children in nursery and one at a CM pre/post school. The first year I gave money for their staff night out. Two children and two mat leaves later they are getting a box of chocloates per class and DH at I have a budget of £30 each for Xmas presents so no way will they be getting a £50 present. Money is tight. Presents are downgraded.

YABVU and lacking in imagination in my not so humble are rather irked opinion.

and rather irked. Computer also needs up-grading,

Another hijack - we were planning to bake and decorate gingerbread biscuits for DS's school nursery teacher / nursery nurses. Would that be appreciated?

I don't think it's too much and I don't see why they would feel patronised

My nursery has a rule about not accepting cash though, so maybe vouchers are better.

I wouldn't buy chocolates or biscuits personally, you end up with so many of them. A nice little gift or voucher each is great though.

I hadn't even thought yet about giving something to nursery staff but I think I'll pick up a little Thorntons box each for DD's 2 really friendly keyworkers as she does love going and having her happy at nursery is one less thing to worry about iyswim.

I understand the OP's sentiment about tipping your hairdresser and that's just your hair, this is your child.

I'm a single mum and studying full time. Despite applying for my bursary in June it still hasn't been sorted out so I am struggling just to pay for nursery fees and other bills.

Good on you if you can afford £50. Not everyone can. I gave a large box of chocs (£12) to share and a little choccie santa for my dd's key worker, which is as generous as I can afford to be at the moment.

I can see why people would tip or give presents to volunteers, but I really don't understand this moral pressure to tip paid workers. It seems such an arbitrary decision who is doing an 'important' job that deserves pressies and extra recognition, and who is doing a normal job and should just get on with it.

I totally agree with you Ciske. I only ever tip in a restuarant if the service has been particularly good. And I only tip the hairdresser if the cut has been very good. If its just averge I don't tip. I certinaly don't tip as a matter of course.
I guess, at my DCs nursery, the staff IMO has gone beyond their duty and looked after my DCs really well, so that is why I think they deserve some recognition for their hard work.
In the same nursery, there have been workers who just do their job well enough, and I wouldn't be giving them expensive presents. It just happens my DCs keyworkers are both great.

Fwiw, Choceyes, I have taken a similar stance to you over the years. I usually bought small purses (£3 or so each) and put £20 in each. I would give that to each of the regular staff in my DC's room. To my mind, I didn't mind paying that to the people who were caring for my kids throughout the day. I'm a bit taken aback at suggestions that money is 'crass' or shows a lack of thought - surely no more so than a box of chocolates? Certainly I got some very appreciative thanks from some staff members. I wouldn't seek to compare my gift with that of another family - I am lucky to be able to spend this amount on them - but I very much agree with your sentiment that the people who cared for my children were far higher up my list of people to tip than hairdressers et al!

I wouldn't spend £50 on a teacher. Looking after an under 2 year old is very different to being a teacher IMO.

How did you arrive at the magic number of 50 quid anyway? Why even draw the line there?

People should do what they feel comfortable with, although I imagine too much comes across as ostentatious.

My DH is a teacher. He hardly ever gets anything!!

Bendybob - I don't really know. It just seems like a generous amount without seeming over the top I guess.

Nurseries are very expensive in Britain. I don't know how wages are divided, but that's beyond my control.

Hospitals and schools are however state funded, so we don't pay for them directly, which means I would tend to give more to teachers and nurses who we know work very hard.

I don't tip a fiver for getting my hair done! Seriously?! I normally give the girl that washes my hair a pound or two, but a hair cut is expensive enough!

Thing is, there's 6 staff in DS's room (varying shifts) - even spending £50, whilst avoiding chocolates and alcohol (several are tee-total for religious reasons) that doesn't actually come to a reasonable amount for a 'nice' gift each, does it?

They care for him so well, and he adores them all (he invites at least one of the home to dinner, and to play with his toys almost every day!)