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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that nursery workers deserve more than a box of chocolates at christmas?

174 replies

choceyes · 09/12/2011 20:57

From what I gather from Mumsnet, and other forums is that, most people only give a £5 box of chocs for nursery staff to share. And this is as recognition for their hard work for a full year.

i really don't get it. Especially when I read the thread about tippign the hairdresser. Say £5 a time, 4 times a year? That's £20. And that for the person who looks after your hair. Then why is it acceptable to spend a relative pittance when it comes to the people that look after your children?

Nursery staff are on a very low wage, not much more than minimum wage I believe. They do a hard job. most people must be happy with the care they give, otherwise they woulnd't be using the nursery. So why not "tip" them generously at christmas?

I will be spending about £50 on the keyworkers and other staff that look after my 2 (3yrs and 15 months).

AIBU?

OP posts:

breatheslowly · 09/12/2011 21:26

Only you can really judge whether you can afford it, but do consider alternatives. Home made presents, hand print cards made by your DC with a really meaningful message inside... There are lots of alternatives.

RufousBartleby · 09/12/2011 21:28

Op - lovely that you have £50 to spare for the staff at your DCs nursery, nothing unreasonable about that, but YABU to suggest others who don't do the same are mean.

Nursery fees swallow nearly all of my wages, I'm buying choc because I can't afford anything more.

Oh, and as for tipping the hairdresser - doesn't happen here, because I can't afford a frigging haircut!!

Original poster

choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:29

I'm just curious as to the rational behind this that's all. No need for the sarcasm. I'm genuinely interested in others opinions.

OP posts:

RitaMorgan · 09/12/2011 21:29

I work in a nursery - so far we've had boxes of chocolates and biscuits but I hope I get a good present soon, or else I'm going to get slack at changing nappies in January

tanfastic · 09/12/2011 21:31

£50?! I don't even spend that on my mum at Christmas and I've only had two haircuts in two years as all my money goes on nursery fees unfortunately.

Pishtushette · 09/12/2011 21:32

Are you still curious after reading all the replies?

DonInKillerHeels · 09/12/2011 21:32

I think chocolates is a perfectly adequate present, frankly.

The only people I regularly tip are restaurant staff. I did that even when I was an impoverished student.

Now I'm a bit better off, I round taxi fares up, and tip if they've done some especially kind/good service. I only tip hairdressers on special occasions.

And I buy nursery staff chocolates.

MamaMaiasaura · 09/12/2011 21:33

I actually going to give preschool and oxfam 'gift' which is lifelong education for £10. If they want chocs they can buy their own

Original poster

choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:33

OK, well I don't have that many people to buy christmas presents for. We as a family don't spend that much on christmas anyway, so I guess we have the money spare.

RitaMorgan - so do you think my DD and DS's keyworkers would think it's odd I gave them a good present? I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.

OP posts:

FessaEst · 09/12/2011 21:34

Just joining in to say I have never tipped a hairdresser £5

(No idea about nurseries, but we don't buy for our CM - we get each of her children a nice gift instead)

DonInKillerHeels · 09/12/2011 21:34

Seriously, Rita?! You'd take out your greedy pique on a defenceless baby?

I do hope you're being ironic.

Original poster

choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:36

I'm not giving a lot out of the £50 for my 3yr olds carers as they aren't that 1:1 with him anymore. But certainly for my DD's keyworker who has been great with her and really helped her settle in and gives her lots of attention.

OP posts:

GypsyMoth · 09/12/2011 21:37

Ok, so what will this combined present for £50 actually be?

Deafworm · 09/12/2011 21:38

My last haircut was August, before that was last new year and dh did it, did a good job too but I didn't tip him! There are two reasons I don't spend a lot/anything on my dc nursery teachers/teacher one I don't have a lot £50 is my weeks food shopping, if I spent that on the staff we would go hungry. Also I have no idea what they'd like, chocs? What if they're on a diet? Wine? Tee total? Etc etc what on earth do you buy for someone who you see for a few minutes a day no matter how wonderful they are?

Original poster

choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:38

pishtushette - I was curious, but now it turns I'm being unreasonable I am less curious

OP posts:

Original poster

choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:39

probably money or vouchers

OP posts:

sleeplessinderbyshire · 09/12/2011 21:39

I spent £25 on DD's keyworker last Christmas. She was in the baby room and there were 3 staff there - they key worker f/t and 2x p/t people so she had her key worker every day. she's been there 7 months having started there at 5 months old and I really wanted to say a proper heartfelt thank you to this amazing girl who had made my return to work so much easier knowign DD was so happy there with her. This year is trickier as she hardly sees new keyworker (and I am not a fan) but is looked after a lot by 2 absolutely wonderful girls who she talks about all the time. Think I may buy them each a £10 voucher for local shopping centre and then lots of biscuits/chocs for all the other staff to share (small nursery and when they go out to play/we ask for a late finish she gets looked after by all sorts of people)

ladyintheradiator · 09/12/2011 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MamaMaiasaura · 09/12/2011 21:42

Choc - it sounds like you are measuring the monetary value of your gift as a measure of gratitude. A nicely written sincere card would do the same. It seems that the issue here is more of guilty feelings from yourself around having them care for your child which is crazy. I was in low wage Shen I was a carer before doing nurse training. I never expected gifts from patients families but when we did have a gift it was biscuits or chocs and very appreciated and shared, the cards and letters tho meant far more

GypsyMoth · 09/12/2011 21:42

Personally I think giving money is crass and vouchers unimaginative. Might just be me though, anyone else?

Clearly you think highly of them, particularly your dd networked. I think a few words with her telling her how fab she has been, will actually make her christmas, I really do.

pigletmania · 09/12/2011 21:42

Well good for you, glad you can afford it . Its none of your business what others give, don't make people feel guilty because they don't give what you do. Also you pay for the nursery its not free, its a lot of money!

GypsyMoth · 09/12/2011 21:42

Networked?? Should be keyworker

Original poster

choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:44

see, my situation is very much like sleeplessinderbyshire.

My DD who is 15 months now, started nursery 3 months ago and was difficult to settle in as she is BF and won't take a bottle, fussy with food, very clingy to me etc. Her keyworker, did an AMAZING job settling her in. I was amazed that DD settled in so well. Her keyworker spend most of the first few days carrying DD around to make her feel comfortable. She is always there in the morning to take DD into her arms. DD is very much attached to her and I feel so happy she has found a second mother almost at nursery and made my return to work so much easier.

OP posts:

wannaBe · 09/12/2011 21:45

"Nursery staff are on a very low wage, not much more than minimum wage I believe." and that is your problem how exactly? People pay an absolute fortune to put their children into nursery, the fact the nursery then pays its staff a pittence is not anyone else's problem really is it?

They're paid to look after your children, and you already pay for that privilage. If you want to tip tht's fine but it's not a given.

Oh and I've never tipped a hairdresser in my life.

Original poster

choceyes · 09/12/2011 21:45

I thught money or vouchers would be the most welcome as they don't get paid much and I can't claim to know them well enough personally to know what their likes and dislikes are. Is that such a bad thing?

OP posts:

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