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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that nursery workers deserve more than a box of chocolates at christmas?

174 replies

choceyes · 09/12/2011 20:57

From what I gather from Mumsnet, and other forums is that, most people only give a £5 box of chocs for nursery staff to share. And this is as recognition for their hard work for a full year.

i really don't get it. Especially when I read the thread about tippign the hairdresser. Say £5 a time, 4 times a year? That's £20. And that for the person who looks after your hair. Then why is it acceptable to spend a relative pittance when it comes to the people that look after your children?

Nursery staff are on a very low wage, not much more than minimum wage I believe. They do a hard job. most people must be happy with the care they give, otherwise they woulnd't be using the nursery. So why not "tip" them generously at christmas?

I will be spending about £50 on the keyworkers and other staff that look after my 2 (3yrs and 15 months).

AIBU?

OP posts:
cookielove · 10/12/2011 18:18

After replying to this statement

Nursery staff are on a very low wage, not much more than minimum wage I believe
troisgarcons stated

And they will get oodles of tax credits etc.

I would like to know what tax credits i am receiving?

bridgeandbow · 10/12/2011 18:23

I think it is difficult because of the number of staff in a nursery - I always gave my childminder £30 of Wagamamas gift vouchers (so her family could go out on us) and her kids £10 gift vouchers for a store they like.

This was due to the close relationship she had with my DSs who were like part of her family. She always gave my kids a nice gift at Christmas and birthdays so it was totally right for me.

minceorotherwise · 10/12/2011 18:28

I think your nursery nurse will be very pleased. Vouchers would be much more welcome in my opinion and much more useful. Surely they get loads of chocolates and stuff? Why not if you can afford it? don't understand why you are getting so much grief tbh. You aren't expecting everyone to do it. Maybe your post could have been a bit ambiguous ie the hairdresser thing put people off track a bit?

Esta3GG · 10/12/2011 18:40

Why does gratitude have to be measured in monetary terms?

And why have I got to be 'grateful' for someone just doing their job?

What a moneygrubbing materialistic shithole this country has become.

minceorotherwise · 10/12/2011 18:41

Having said that... Thread title is a bit unreasonable, as it suggests other people's presents are not worthy. But sentiment is not unreasonable I don't think

EatMeDates · 10/12/2011 18:43

DS has two teachers and six TAs (special school). DD has a keyworker and three other staff in her room at nursery, plus the nursery manager (who is lovely).
That means I have 13 people to buy for, plus my own family/colleagues etc

I am not bloody made of money! They'd be lucky if I spent a fiver, to be honest!

TiggyD · 10/12/2011 18:44

Any gift is welcome thank you.

proudfoot · 10/12/2011 18:44

YABVU and so cheeky.

Nursery employees are paid for their work and parents are not obliged to give them anything at Christmas. If they do then that is a nice thought and gesture, whether it is "cheap" box of chocolate for staff to share or something you deem better!

laptopdancer · 10/12/2011 18:45

I wouldnt have had a clue who ds' "key worker" was when he was at nursery.

valiumredhead · 10/12/2011 18:46

I think it's very nice that you give a bonus to the nursery, and you are right some nannies get big bonuses. But I think it's up to the individual to decide what to give.

KittyAnne · 10/12/2011 18:59

I'm not on low wages, but I might as well be after forking out a grand a month on nursery fees. If you're paying for a service, there's no need for gratitude.

Woodlands · 10/12/2011 19:03

aargh this thread has really confused me! I have already taken a big tub of Roses into DS's nursery for the staff in the baby room to share, but was wondering if I should give something extra to his keyworker. It's a big nursery (up to 18 babies at any one time) so lots of staff look after him, so it would probably just be his keyworker I give something to. Maybe I should put a £10 Boots voucher in a card for her? Oh I don't know!

cat64 · 10/12/2011 19:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
choceyes · 10/12/2011 19:30

Like I said before, my DD is looked after by her keyworker 95% of the time. I know that for a fact. There aren't more than about 3 babies in that room, so only the keyworker there, but sometimes a couple more babies and somebody else will join here, so maybe it's a different set up to other nurseries. DD is very attached to her keyworker and is like a second mother to her. I won't be giving presents to anyone else or the manager, just my DS's previous keyworker too, as she was great with him too.

Maybe your post could have been a bit ambiguous ie the hairdresser thing put people off track a bit?

I think the main reason I posted this thread, was on the back of the tipping the hairdresser thread and I was shocked to read that tipping your hairdresser seemed to be a normal thing to do and most people seemed to do it. But the same people who do that, probably don't extend that gratitude to the people looking after their previous darlings. it's the double standards, I couldn't understand.
if you weren't the tipping type anyway, and I am not as I don't believe people should be rewarded for just doing their job*, then giving a box of chocs for christmas is fine.

*Both my DCs keyworkers IMO has done more than what I'd expected them to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
choceyes · 10/12/2011 19:31

I meant precious darlings!

OP posts:
mousysantamouse · 10/12/2011 19:33

my dc's nursery has a 'no indivudual gifts' policy.
so a box of chocolates it is.

KnickersOnOnesHead · 10/12/2011 19:36

You're meant to buy presents for nursery staff/teachers??? Shock

ColonelBrandon · 10/12/2011 19:37

I don't give a Christmas presents to nursery or school staff - the best present is getting the time off!

However, if dcs school or nursery wanted donations to a staff party I would contribute, as other posters do, as it benefits all that contribute to the education and welfare of my dcs.

I'm not against giving gifts, but at times when it's meant something rather than as Consumerfestmas. I recently gave a small token of appreciation for all the out of hours effort that went into a recent school production that meant a great deal to my dcs. I also give dcs' key-worker a small gift at the end of his time with them with a card expressing my thanks.

But different strokes...

minceorotherwise · 10/12/2011 19:42

I can see where you are coming from. My friends DD has one specific key worker, she has a condition which causes her difficulties in various areas and the key worker was marvellous. Looking up details of the condition in her spare time to see how best she could help her. Making charts to help her with visual stimulation and basically going way beyond expectations. My friend also gives her a generous bonus at Christmas, which I think is entirely her right.

hairytaleofnewyork · 10/12/2011 19:42

Yabu. They are paid.

Foxy800 · 10/12/2011 19:59

HI there,

I work in a nursery and we are always appreciative of anything we get but we dont expect anything.

When my dd was at nursery, she went to a small preschool, we used to buy a little pressie for the staff to use with the children at the nursery as they didnt get a lot of new equipment for the toys. They were always so appreciative of it as it was some thing they could all use but I know they also got chocs, wine etc and were appreciative of this too.

WE are not in the job for the pressies, it is cause we care about the children, that said they are always appreciated.

toweraboveyou · 10/12/2011 20:15

I don't understand why they're sharing a box of chocolates. They probably get lots. They can have at least one box each!

Laquitar · 10/12/2011 20:33

choceys i agree with you that they deserve it. But they should get it from their employers, not from the parents. (nannies get bonus/presents from the parents because the parents are their employers)

Nevertooearlyforcake · 10/12/2011 21:10

I go for the box of chocolates as I want to be sure it's something everyone can share. Yes my DD has a lovely key worker but I know the other staff have large level of involvement in her care. Case of wine etc, unless there is a staff party lined up would require them to socialise as a group to all share and am not sure that's the case. Btw the care the OP describes as given to her daughter when settling in sounds exactly as I would expect it to be, I wouldn't leave my DCs in the care of a nursery that did anything other than that. Not that that means it isn't wonderful care and she shouldn't be grateful but I'd be upset with a nursery that thought any treatment other than this was ok

breatheslowly · 10/12/2011 21:14

KittyAnne "If you're paying for a service, there's no need for gratitude." Is that really how you see your DC's nursery?

While I am paying for a service I get far more than that. I have peace of mind that DD is safe, well cared for, stimulated, fed a balanced diet and really appreciated as an individual. That means that I can go to work, acheive my best and enjoy my work as I am not concerned about DD. DD grins as we arrive at nursery as the staff make it so welcoming and exciting. They share my pleasure in her development and what a lovely baby she is and talk really enthusiastically about her day when I collect her. I genuinely believe that she has a better time at nursery with them than she would have at home with me and she has learnt an enormous amount from being at nursery. I think that deserves gratitude in whatever form I can display it. It doesn't have to be expensive, it can just be a card expressing what I have said, but I enjoy being appreciated in my work and I therefore imagine that they do too.

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