To think some women don't like other women because they are pretty?

[RainbowSheep]

I really struggled with this at school, girls didn't like me much and I could never work out why, looking back it is because I was very pretty (I'm not syaing I'm better than anyone else or the most beautiful woman in the world btw). I did have some very good girlfriends but was never accepted into groups of girls. I found this a lot throughout my life and it used to really get me down.

I have noticed it reared it's head at the school gates again, it has taken me a good few years to be accepted by the other mums, being shy doesn't help either.

AIBU to think this is something that often women (obvioulsy not all women!) don't like other women who they think are pretty??

Personally I have never found it easy to get a man to fancy me. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been chatted up.

Thank christ.

I think the fact I tower above a lot of them puts 'em off.

Does anybody "get someone" to fancy though? They either do or they don't, surely?

Sorry, missed 'them' out.

Jeremyvile, is your post in response to mine? I didn't mention men's opinions.

According to Just 17 magazine you twirl your hair and laugh a lot at their jokes.

No Milly

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Such a true statement, OP. I don't know if you're pretty or not, if I met you, your looks would really not matter as much as a pleasant, engaging personality and interest in what's going on. Some people (men and women) who think themselves very good-looking, don't register on other peoples' radars at all, possibly because they're just not interesting.

I don't know... ask somebody whose judgement you trust. :)

I think the fact I tower above a lot of them puts 'em off.

Learn to speak Dutch - the men there are huuuge :)

we have a mum at school who is very, very attractive, always looks like she's ready for a night out with skin tight jeans, killer heels, hair done, perfect make-up etc. My husband and i have commented on how 'perfect' she always is. She does give off an aloofness and seems unapproachable. I've tried to catch her eye in passing to smile but she never makes eye contact and keeps her eyes down. Hard to tell whether she is vain and arrogant or just shy and knows that she really stands out.

I rarely tower over men, despite being taller than most of them, because I am lazy and so am generally sitting down. It is loads easier than learning Dutch.

Mike knows how a woman gets a man to fancy her.

at milly.

When DP first met me I was sitting down. I then stood up and he looked like at me.

I am perfectly able to assesss whether another woman is, imo, pretty/attractive/hot/beautiful/intriguing/whatever without taking into consideration whether or not some random bloke would like to fuck her

Yes, but your criteria may be different to those that matter evolutionarily and are thus irrelevant in the grand scheme of things.

Reversing it, apparently men really envy other men with big willies, but apparently women are clearly using other selection criteria as well.

Oh my word- that Mike email is hideous

I can't work out whether to be appalled, or put it down to some kind of communication impairment.

I think men are supposed to assess women's attractiveness based on hip to waist ratio. I do not assess women's attractiveness in this way, possibly because the dancing in the video of 'All the Single Ladies' is very hip/waist ratio focussed to such an extent that all the hip attention somehow reminds me of childbirth and makes me feel unwell.

Aww poor old Mike.

I work with a lot of people like that, tbh, absolute logic maniacs. I think a lot of them are on the autistic spectrum (they are wonderful to work with, however I don't think I would like a relationship with them).

Stop Complaining OP (just kidding) when you look like a bulldog chewing a wasp you'll miss it, it its probably more to do with shyness.

Also don t assume everyone at the school gates thinks you're pretty they may not, beauty is subjective.

do you start convo's??

I really struggled with this at school, girls didn't like me much and I could never work out why, looking back it is because I was very pretty

YABU

Pretty girls are generally the ones who make everyone elses lives a misery at school.

Thats not quite true A1980

Pretty girls are not that powerful at school.

pretty does not equal bitch.

No wonder some lovely looking women feel bad...females with good looks are not infallible you know.

Pretty girls are not that powerful at school.

Neither are the ugly overweight ones. They are the ones who get ignored and teased IMO.

So what is your point then?

Guess it evens out then,right? :)

I was not mean at school ,I was pretty ...I was also teased for my looks.

Perhaps then it boils down to a lot more than looks?

OP you say that you aren't better than anyone else, but that's not how you come across. The only rational explanation that supports your premise is that you are more beautiful than every other mum in the playground, otherwise all the pretty ones would be in gangs of one.

IMO most women are pretty, and most intelligent adults know that the way someone looks is down to luck and genetics, so move on from the impact fairly quickly, unless they are prevented from doing so by the pretty person not allowing anyone to forget it.

I don't believe that all good looking people truly know they are good looking. People compliment others on their appearance out of politeness, it's not necessarily true and I wouldn't have thought many adults would take passing compliments too seriously.

Ooh, Jaclyn Smith is a stunna.

I think the prettiness is a red herring. I am newly a SAHM and while not yet at the school gates, am throwing myself into the toddler activity circuit, and making friends with the other Mums, i.e. strangers is a long, slow process.

So many people have said this to me, as well. Unless you are supremely confident, you simply can't just rock up and expect to make friends, en mass, immediately. It takes time and effort and if you want to make friends, you need to expend both.

Same goes for school days - if you're in any way shy or reticent around others, then friendships aren't going to happen overnight.

My DH is very good looking, but also very confident, at ease with himself and basically just great craic. He finds it very easy to make friends. Me, less so, because I'm not at all confident and find it very, very difficult to approach people I don't know.

I find it so depressing to read thread titles like this, I have to admit. I suppose there must be women out there who are jealous of good-looking women. I don't think I've ever encountered one, or if I did, I must have had my blinkers well and truly on.

I mean, if women are so bitchy and horrible and awkward and uncomfortable to be around, then why post on Mumsnet? I mean, don't you see the irony of not being 'a woman's woman', whilst at the same time getting so much enjoyment from a massive - huge! - community of funny, supportive, sometimes scathing, opinionated, passionate, caring, knowledgable, articulate, intelligent, witty women?

Think about it.

Well put.

As was mentioned here, research actually seems to suggest that good looking people are more popular on average. And more successful. From that POV the OP's hypothesis is simply not born out by the facts.

However, some people do of course get jealous of others for all sorts of reasons: because they are smarter, more popular, successful, richer and have nicer partners. Arguably, a pretty face will cause jealousy in some. Just not in a sense that can be generalized like this.