Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU to be irritated by this mum at DD's school? (Nativity play related)

166 replies

sloppyguiseppe · 05/12/2011 19:28

DD is playing a star in the school nativity play (reception age) There are two other stars. When the letters were sent home to say who was playing what, DD's note stipulated that all she needed for her costume was yellow clothing and it suggested t-shirt and leggings. After trawling shops for a week for yellow arseing leggings, I finally found some today, along with a yellow top (harder than you might think in winter Angry)

Then at the school gate today, one of the other star mums said that she'd been to Tesco and bought a star costume for her DD. Now, I am annoyed for two reasons; 1. Her DD will look like the main star, the Beyonce of the stars and my my DD and the other girl will look like Kelly Rowland and the other one, and 2. DD is feeling hard done by that she has yellow clothes and a tinsel headband. I can see her point. I feel pressured to buy DD a star outfit now.

AIBU to think that the other mum is a show-off and a bit of a nob? It's a reception nativity play ffs. Just get the cheapo yellow clothes and stick some tinsel on yer kid's head.

Yes, I DO have bigger problems to worry about, yes I AM childish and I probably do need to suck it up. (Am a regular under a nc, by the way)

OP posts:
Haberdashery · 05/12/2011 21:41

Also feel a bit sorry for the boys. How on earth are they all going to come up with white trousers in December?

hazeyjane · 05/12/2011 21:41

By the way, there isn't any 'casting' at dd's school, so the teacher sends home a note, saying, 'in the school nativity blahblah would like to be a ----' so the lo's get to choose what they are going to be (I know madness!)

Hence all the girls are angels, except one girl who gamely said she wanted to be a camel. Dd2 did originally say she wanted to be a cat, but it was pointed out that there are no cats in the nativity, so she said she would be an angel too. Shame really, she would really have stood out in her (ahem - homemade) black cat costume.

ceebeegeebies · 05/12/2011 21:51

Ah DS1 is a donkey this year - no idea what the play is but a lot of the children are 'cleaners', another one is a 'milker', there is at least one horse and the 3 donkeys have 'owners' but there is no Mary and Joseph Hmm I am looking forward to next week just to have the mystery unravelled Grin

Anyway, to the point of the Op, that would annoy me too tbh. Fortunately my note from school said that DS1 does not need anything special to be a donkey which is great Grin

ElphabaisWicked · 05/12/2011 21:55

As someone who organises childrens performances I would be annoyed at the mum buying the star costumes as often I ask for leggings and t-shirt so that the child can acyually move int he costume. If there is a little dance or something for example they might not be able to do it.

marmiteandjam · 05/12/2011 21:56

I just wish my son's school was doing a nativity play. They don't do them for "cultural reasons". Instead they are doing something about christmas in which he plays a teacher and he has to wear a shirt and tie which luckily we already had. I feel really sad that I've never seen him in a nativity Xmas Sad

Original poster
sloppyguiseppe · 05/12/2011 22:01

marmite you need to push the boundaries of pushy-mummyism and arrange a nativity with your DS and his friends, to be performed in your home. Xmas Wink

OP posts:
manicinsomniac · 05/12/2011 22:06

marmite - one of my teachin practice school did a Christmas play with the theme of healthy eating - the basic plot was that the children persuaded their school to hire a chef who only gave them sweets for lunch. They loved it at first but got all pale and tired and sick. Then they loved it when the old chef came back and made them proper meals with vegetables. Yawn! It was awful, no christmas spirit whatsoever!

I teach and have my children at a private prep and pre prep. Only the pre prep does a nativity but at least the juniors and seniors do proper musical shows - my older daughter was in Aladdin last week.

DeWe · 05/12/2011 22:07

hazeyjane, dd2 is going to be a cat in her nativity. Apparently there was one at the stable Hmm. She reminded me with great glee that I'd promised her another when I gave her (too small) cat costume away. Wish I'd remembered before halloween.

dementedma · 05/12/2011 22:08

as an old hand (dds now in their 20's) i am laughing myself sick at this thread.
DD1 was once a fairy - poor child was built like a prop forward and was mortified at being crammed into a tutu and wings.DS was a horse last year and is a bodyguard Confused this year.
Best casting ever was when DD2s best friend was the star. this child was Burmese and tiny, like a little doll with beautiful almond eyes peeping out from under a jet black fringe and a smile that lit up the room. Honestly you good have eaten her with a spoon. she was the star because it was a non-speaking role and T didn't speak any English at the time. She tottered onto the stage in an enormous sparkling gold star costume, with her skinny wee legs sticking out the bottom and her smile poking out over the top. She just beamed at everyone and there wasn't a dry eye in the house!

CheerfulYank · 05/12/2011 22:08

Marmite we don't have them either. Stupid Separation of Church and State!

I may enroll DS in Sunday School though, so there's hope!

Original poster
sloppyguiseppe · 05/12/2011 22:11

Bodyguards and cleaners?! Heavens to betsy!

OP posts:
Wittsend13 · 05/12/2011 22:14

Seriously is this what I have to deal with when DD goes to school? Are some parents really this petty? Jeez. OP why don't you make your DC a star costume that is so huge it would take over the other dc dressed as stars in size and would give lady gaga a run for her money. You would def win the nativity war then......lmao

PresentsRibbonsAndMerrySantas · 05/12/2011 22:15

DeWe get your self down to sainsburys, ours still have cat haloween outfits reduced to £2.00 i have bought 2 in different sizes just incase Xmas Grin

kazmus · 05/12/2011 22:36

the note went out to the children who were to be animals at the nativity that they could chose which animal they wanted to be....I'm sure the teacher meant donkeys, sheep, cows etc, but ours was the only nativity scene with a penguin at the crib!!

GwendolineMaryLacedwithBrandy · 06/12/2011 09:00

I had a lovely conversation with the check out lady yesterday in Sainsburys who was asking if I was looking forward to seeing my child as a donkey in the nativity and weren't these ready made costumes great...all very nice except I was buying a Gruffalo costume for DD's birthday Xmas Grin

porcamiseria · 06/12/2011 09:38

oh come on! had you seen the star first, you would have got it!!!! get your DD the fucking star and she can be errr, Rihanna?????

startail · 06/12/2011 09:55

Schools do this, thinking it's cheaper and easier for the parents. It isn't.
I had dreadful trouble sewing tinsel round a white T shirt and it shed everywhere.
Shoving her in her brides maids dress was much easier.

startail · 06/12/2011 09:57

This year reception have very sensibly asked parents further up the school for the loan of costumes.

Jinsel · 06/12/2011 10:02

Get some of those battery operated christmas lights from the pound shop to make your star light up

PresentsRibbonsAndMerrySantas · 06/12/2011 10:05

i offered all my spare costumes to reception to borrow, but the teachers did not need/want them Xmas Confused i bet some of the parents would have been happy to borrow them, all only worn once for 2 hours!!!! Xmas Confused

Vickisuli · 08/12/2011 20:19

Our school just says "Your child is ... in the play, please send a suitable costume", giving parents the lazy/easy/expensive choice of buying a readymade costume, the cheaper option of using clothing they already own and jazzing it up somehow, or making something if they are capable of doing so. There was a real mix at ours - we had loads of stars, about 4 had identical bought costumes, the others had variations on normal clothes with tinsel on, cardboard stars stuck onto normal clothes etc. And nobody could really care less.

There were 3 camels. One had spent £15 online for a 'real' camel costume. The others had brown clothes with some bubble wrap stuffed up the back and a cardboard camel mask on their heads and looked no worse. My main thought was 'what a waste of money spending that much on a costume for a 20 minute play"

I'll admit I'm lucky as my mum is handy with a sewing machine and knocks up costumes for my daughters left right and centre, but I do think parents are unimaginative. On Victorian Day, all they needed was a plain longsleeved top and skirt, plus an apron, and yet I spotted loads of girls wearing identical bought Victorian girl costumes. OK you might have to buy an apron, but you could even get away with a teatowel and a belt at a push, or cut up a piece of paper - it's only one day! Some people have definitely got more money than imagination IMHO.

IneedAChristmasNickname · 08/12/2011 20:24

The amount of threads I have read on here recently re nativity costumes makes me SO pleased that DCs school provide them!

Gwendoline I had a lovely conversation with the check out lady yesterday in Sainsburys who was asking if I was looking forward to seeing my child as a donkey in the nativity and weren't these ready made costumes great...all very nice except I was buying a Gruffalo costume for DD's birthday my DS2 has a Gruffalo costume, and people always ask why he is dressed as a donkey Grin

sparklythings · 08/12/2011 20:27

YANBU, my ds is in reception class and had his concert yesterday and I'd probably feel a bit pissed off too.
Which is why I'm glad our school provided all the great costumes for the nativity play and the concert, as it avoided things like this!
If I'd have been expected to buy an elf costume I wouldn't have known where to start!

Hulababy · 08/12/2011 20:39

Oh - those star costumes. Loads of them currently reduced to half price in our local tesco yesterday!

We have had our school nativity today. I took in four of DD's old costumes just in case. Everyone was needed as some children came with no costume at all. As I said before - don't care if they are homemade or bought, but it was harder with no costume sent in!

I work in a VERY mixed school. We have a huge mix of ethnicities, cultures, religions, languages - you name it. But we still have a nativity in some form. And this year every single child took part, none out of the 90 children were withdrawn :)

Hulababy · 08/12/2011 20:41

startail - I have donated DD's costumes in the past to her school. Infact saw her school's preprep nativity this afternoon (DD is in prep now so part of choir, preprep do the main bit) and some of the costumes were definitely being used.