To wonder if its fair that some forces children get fees paid at private schools?

[scruffybird]

A few old friends of mine have their children at good private boarding schools due to ninety percent of the fees being paid for by the forces. I am perfectly aware that I may be being unreasonable for even questioning this, but it just seems wrong?
One of the girls has gone to a school hundreds of miles away from where her family live so that she would be eligible.

Me too, thanks Dizzy

OP, since you so envy this "perk", would you or your DH be ready to serve in the forces?

We may also be able to educate our children privately (eventually) on clergy bursaries as my DH is going to be a priest but it wouldn't occur to me that someone might envy that as I can't imagine so many people prepared to dedicate their lives to the church in the way that the clergy must.

Thank you GingerWrath It came from the heart. I have never yet worked with a serving or ex-service person who did not watch my back, support me and generally be a pleasure to work with.

What a lovely post Dizzy

I was going to say YANBU but thinking about it.. I like that the kids aren't punished for their parents career choices by being forced to move about. So yabu

Ginger, we thought about PVRing when our first child was born. My husband got offered a fantastic job but it was on a rolling twelve month contract and in London. The army countered with a stability posting and a good career review about his prospects which turned out to be true - he just picked up his half colonel at 37. We pass the IPP in 2014 and will review then but if he continues to do as he's doing we'd be silly to leave.

In the current climate, giving up a secure profession is madness.

YABU

Of course it's not fair. They have parents are away at war. Private school can't even begin to make up for that. But at least a few perks move in the right direction and reflect the sacrifice that forces families make.

Man, some people are such jealous whiners.

dizzy again thanks. I am ex serving myself and no one can know what a decent lot and how funny they are with their banter unless it's first hand experience.

jcscot, it's not worth the gamble is it? They always find a carrot to dangle. DH last two promotions have been to negative choice postings (go there or you'll go anyway without the promotion )

Marrianne I do not envy perk, would not send my children to boarding school, and did you miss my post where I said that my dad and my dh have both been in the RAF? Just think ninety percent of fees for private school when you don't have to seems wrong

Another lovely comment, thank you Lemon

Lemon the examples I am talking about have fathers who have not gone to war.

scruffybird if they don't have to (but it really is whether it would be better for DC's education) it is wrong.

But TBF your OP was rather ambiguous and came across as Forces bashing.

They are always the ones who instinctively know when you've done a shit job and are ready with a hug/cup of tea or suitably irreverent joke. They are always top of my list to work with.

In an entire career they've missed out on Kosovo, Northern Ireland, Bosnia, Sierra Leone, East Timor, Afghanistan and Iraq Mks I & II? Really?

My husband's hardly a gong-hunter but he's managed Kosovo and Afghanistan three times in eleven and a half years.

Even every 3-4 years can be too disruptive for children.

Sorry if it did. I have spent thirty years in the forces one way or another.
I suppose the friend who got me thinking about this in the first place got my back up a bit by boasting about these lovely schools they had visited and how little it was going to cost her, and how after she was settled they would move out to sunny Cyprus for a few years

same here jc, my DH has done Afghan 3 times, Iraq, Resonate South...and he is a technician. All 3 are so short staffed everyone is having to 'do their bit'. Apart from the 'ooh me back' brigade, everyone is having to do a detachment, even if it is 'only' the Falklands.

Sorry if I'm repeating something someone else has said (haven't read the whole thread) but there used to be state boarding schools, or at least secondary schools with boarding houses. I went to one in East Sussex.
It was about 1993 when the big house the boarders lived in (and which housed our Environmental Science dept) got sold off by the LEA.
So now public school boarding is almost the only option.

TeamMele, there are just under 40 state boarding schools in England and Wales and the network is currently expanding. Many of the pupils in the boarding houses of these schools are Armed Forces children in receipt of CEA - CEA can be used for state boarding places or private boarding places. Those children at state boarding schools pay 10% of fees and CEA covers the rest (between £800 and £1200 per year) whereas those at private boarding schools pay typically 20 to 40% of fees with CEA covering the balance (think that's what another posted said) so that would be £2000 to £5000 per year at a guess, hence why some parents choose instead state boarding schools.
www.sbsa.org.uk/find_school.php

Herbietea I am ignorant about the fees paid part of it, only found out about it from said friend.

I think herbie's point was not that you're ignorant about the fees being paid but that having been a forces child and married to someone in the forces, you cannot see why boarding school might be a necessary option for some nor why that option should be supported by the government.

Surely you have first hand experience of moving a lot and having your education or your child's education disrupted to some extent?

Perhaps your friend was "boasting" by trying to put a positive spin on things - how her children's education was going to be supported and how they were being offered chances that would not normally be open to them? Perhaps she was doing what so many forces wives do - focus on the positive rather than brooding on the negative aspects of Service life?

My friend is in the forces. Her children aren't in private education because to qualify, they have to board for 3 years for the fees to get paid. She'd rather keep them with the family - but the downside is that they have had 3 schools in the last 5 years. Moving every 4 years? She would be very lucky if that happened! The forces don't just fight overseas - they support civil matters - remember the fire strikes? She had to leave her wedding day (she got married then left before the reception) and had to report for duty to man the fire engines. They don't get compensation for those sorts of things! Oh, and when you move, there are no forces schools anymore - the nearest schools don't 'have' to accept the children. Currently she is travelling 20 miles a day as the only schools available are 10 miles away, and they are the 'failing' schools. Oh yeah, she and her children are really enjoying the 'perks' of forces life. If she gets fees paid when her children are older to go to boarding school then good on her I say.