For not wanting to go to his parents at Christmas because of stupid traditions they have

[LittleEmanuel]

DP and I have been going through a rough time lately to the point where I honestly thought it was over and was assuming I'd be single by the new year. We've recently (in the past week) decided to try and work things out.

Problem is we have been invited around to his parents (again) on Christmas day. We get invited every year and I hate it but this year I was rather excited at the prospect of not having to go.

However because DP and I are on dodgy ground and we're supposed to be trying to please each other right now, I kind of feel obliged but I really don't want to go. They have the most stupid, odd traditions like the bum slap dance and acorn throwing and it's just bloody ridiculous. I don't mind a bit of fun but this shit always goes too far, ends up with someone going off in a mood and makes me want to tear my own eyes out.

AIBU to tell DP I really don't want to go or will it jeapordise our relationship?

ok I have read most of the thread now and indeed they sound a tad strange.

Do you visit them often?

I am pmsl at the traditions!!! But cannot find them on you tube ... I,d boycott christmas with them and have c day just you guys if you are starting afresh etc.

Not necessarily; depends on whether you view "than" as always a conjunction, or sometimes as a preposition. Or something. Again with the debates before I'm fully caffeinated! :o

Personally (though my family, working class trash though we are, would never duke it out in public or otherwise), I'd rather be with people who threw a few punches every now and then than wallowed in snobbish behavior and/or were all the time cutting each other out of wills and making dubious business deals, as my vair vair upper class friend's family is wont to do.

Though our classes are different here. We're considered middle class I suppose, but would be working class there. I think.

Killing myself laughing at this thread... I have Acorn's "Lonely" going around my head.

OP... I really feel for you, it sounds dreadful... maybe suggest to your DP that he goes to his parents for Christmas Day, you go to yours or wherever... everybody happy.

A shame the family are not from Texas as they would have all shot each other by now and you wouldn't have this problem...but you stay with a man who wrestles his own mother?

Why?

I think it is not surprising that you are having problems with this man, he is three years old by the sound of it.

And I bet they have all their old pets stuffed in the boot of their car too.

Run away, run away!

cheerful .....i get confused in the class system over here. I work so I consider myself working class.

But we own our house outright, have several other properties, holiday abroad etc etc.

So does that make me middle class.

I have a trust fund set up by my dad which I never touch, [ IT IS MY PENSION FUND] so does that make me upper class.

WHO KNOWS AND WHO CARES?

Yeah, but in Texas you don't aim to kill with family. :o So they'd just be wounded.

I've only read the first page but please please please can I go?

You still have a choice, not a great one but a choice all tge same.

I want to go to.

I'd love to do a bum slap dance, throwing acorns and then wrapping my 10 year old in selltape

I KNOW! It sounds fabbo

We only have the cardboard box game and Tree Flower Fruit

Hully - try biscuit charades. And the cheese impersonation game. Both festive winners for all the family.

Has the OP decided?? Is she going to go?

OP please come back. We need to know your decision and whether we can have any live updates/photos/video footage?

Mumsnet HQ pretty please may I start a thread searching for OP if she doesn't turn up soon? It won't be a thread about thread just a thread searching for a missing OP who may or may not have been hit in the face by a small onject, trampled by a rampaging dog or have a raptured bladder. She only popped round for a cup of tea

Loopy how does one play biscuit charades and the cheese impersonation game?

Oooh I wondered if anyone would ask!

Biscuit charades is as it sounds. Charades, but you can only do biscuits, and the key is to make the clues as tenuous as possible.

For the cheese impersonation game, you have to think of a cheese, and act as it personified. So, for example, if you were brie, you would have really melty gestures and a french accent.

Sounds good but a bit much for my family I think. In OP's IL's house I think that it would descend into some kind of bum slapping chaos.

I would hate it and refuse to go. I'd rather spend Christmas on my own than go through that. Alot of people feel sorry for people on their own at Christmas but reading about some people's extended family Christmases they sound far far worse than being on my own with the radio, TV and CDs of Carols and some good books/ a new computer game I can get totally engrossed in.

They sound quite odd

Part of compromise is him listening to you too so tell him you don't want to go!

We have indoor fireworks (literal ones, not metaphorical ones) at Xmas

They sound about as funny as "you don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps" signs

... the relative, not my fireworks

Name one thing he has done to compromise for you?