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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not wanting to go to his parents at Christmas because of stupid traditions they have

252 replies

LittleEmanuel · 02/12/2011 10:29

DP and I have been going through a rough time lately to the point where I honestly thought it was over and was assuming I'd be single by the new year. We've recently (in the past week) decided to try and work things out.

Problem is we have been invited around to his parents (again) on Christmas day. We get invited every year and I hate it but this year I was rather excited at the prospect of not having to go.

However because DP and I are on dodgy ground and we're supposed to be trying to please each other right now, I kind of feel obliged but I really don't want to go. They have the most stupid, odd traditions like the bum slap dance and acorn throwing and it's just bloody ridiculous. I don't mind a bit of fun but this shit always goes too far, ends up with someone going off in a mood and makes me want to tear my own eyes out.

AIBU to tell DP I really don't want to go or will it jeapordise our relationship? Sad

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:34

I hate the term "decent career." I work as a 1:1 aide for special needs children and get paid f%ck-all. But my work is important. Someone's got to do the shit jobs, haven't they? We can't all be cardiac surgeons, for instance.

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:36

But for the record, even if certain rumblings about certain people are true, it isn't very kind to throw details of that person's divorce in her face, is it? Hmm

nikon1968 · 03/12/2011 17:39

Xenia has paraded her 'excellent' life around mumsnet for long enough.

We all know the details, over and over again she reminds us.

NICEyBahHumbug · 03/12/2011 17:45

Marry up girls. Don't for goodness sake marry down or you'll have to deal with the 'scum'.

Our moral worth as humans is not tied up in our income or IQ. Nope, its social class. I respect everyone... as long as they don't fight like gypsys at parties.

FFS!!! Just wow.

Ihavewelliesbutitssunny · 03/12/2011 17:45

Nikon and Xenia take your bickering elsewhere, this isn't the place for it. Goodbye.

nikon1968 · 03/12/2011 17:46

Where else could I bicker with someone who is so much better than me?

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:46

I know, I know. I just feel sometimes that we should rise above. Or something. Don't mind me, haven't had all my coffee yet. :)

nikon1968 · 03/12/2011 17:48

oh and cheerful........................your job is not shit the pay maybe [in your opinion] but I doubt the person you look after don't think your shit.

nikon1968 · 03/12/2011 17:48

fair point......i will rise above.

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:49

My family is and always has been working class and proud. My brother's a fighter, but then he's an alcoholic asshole. That's to do with his genes and his choices, not our class. Believe me you, as someone who "hob nobs" quite a bit, assholes come from all classes and backgrounds.

Ihavewelliesbutitssunny · 03/12/2011 17:49

I wasn't referring to you Cheerful Yank, I like your posts. Nikon get out!

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:50

Thanks nikon . :) I love my job and have been with the little girl for almost five years. I love her dearly and feel every day that I am making a true difference. (Well, most days :o) That's worth living paycheck to paycheck IMO.

nikon1968 · 03/12/2011 17:50

ihavewellies........what is your prob with me................

Ihavewelliesbutitssunny · 03/12/2011 17:51

Actually Nikon you did just make a good point about 'shit' jobs, perhaps you can stay. But no more bickering or I'll throw an acorn at you Xmas Smile

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:52

No one's bickering anymore, it's all good.

Ihavewelliesbutitssunny · 03/12/2011 17:53

Sorry Nikon see above. Its just that this was a funny thread and then you and Xenia spoilt it a bit by getting personal and a bit petty. Now lets get back to discussing the 'bum slap dance' etc Xmas Grin

nikon1968 · 03/12/2011 17:54

kumbaya my lord kumbaya.

Looking out for the acorn.

x x x x x x x

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:54

Nah, five thousand pounds a year (or thereabouts, I had to google pounds to dollars :o) is pretty shit. But it's better than a stick in the eye eh?

toptramp · 03/12/2011 17:54

I think his family sound excentric but funny. Can't you just laugh at them rather than with them. At least they are not stuck -up and po faced. Sounds like you have fallen out of love with your dp tbh otherwise you would find their antics hilarious.

nikon1968 · 03/12/2011 17:55

This is where my prob is I read the first page then the last page ........tut tut.

[goes off to have a word with myself]

CheerfulYank · 03/12/2011 17:55

Bum slap dance! Bum slap dance!

My FIL would die a thousand deaths before he would touch my bum.

LydiaWickham · 03/12/2011 17:59

Tell him you'll go only if he'll talk to PILs first, say you don't want to be slapped or have anything thrown at you, and if either thing happens, you'll leave. If he can't garentee you'll not be hit by a person or by an object thrown by someone, then you'll not go. Say you'll make an effort with his family, but you don't think you're being unreasonable to want to avoid being hit by anything or anyone on Christmas day.

However, I'd just say I'm not going and make other plans. He can join your or not. If he's not prepared to compromise as well, then he's not worth worrying about.

LydiaWickham · 03/12/2011 18:01

But if you do go, can you please give us regular updates? don't think I'll get on here on Christmas day, but it'd make great reading on Boxing day... Grin

Xenia · 03/12/2011 18:05

Yes, some sectors of society resort to fighting more. By no means everyone working class as fights in restaurants but you are more likely to resort to physical violence in restaurants if you are working class than upper or middle class. We could certainly find the statistic to prove,I'm afraid.

(I don't bicker and I would never say "better than me". It's better than I. The way to work that out is add the am and see if it sounds right - better than me am or better than I am and that hjelps us know when we have it right; you learned it here and I will not charge. I don't think joining the dots of people's postings is particularly good form, though.)

SardineQueen · 03/12/2011 18:07

hahahahahahaha am just PMSL

I have an ex whose family xmas do was always quite a trial. But nothing compared to this!