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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not wanting to go to his parents at Christmas because of stupid traditions they have

252 replies

LittleEmanuel · 02/12/2011 10:29

DP and I have been going through a rough time lately to the point where I honestly thought it was over and was assuming I'd be single by the new year. We've recently (in the past week) decided to try and work things out.

Problem is we have been invited around to his parents (again) on Christmas day. We get invited every year and I hate it but this year I was rather excited at the prospect of not having to go.

However because DP and I are on dodgy ground and we're supposed to be trying to please each other right now, I kind of feel obliged but I really don't want to go. They have the most stupid, odd traditions like the bum slap dance and acorn throwing and it's just bloody ridiculous. I don't mind a bit of fun but this shit always goes too far, ends up with someone going off in a mood and makes me want to tear my own eyes out.

AIBU to tell DP I really don't want to go or will it jeapordise our relationship? Sad

OP posts:
Xmasbaby11 · 02/12/2011 14:34

This family should be on TV!

Sorry ...

CeliaChristmasFete · 02/12/2011 14:36

Is your DP's Mum called Cato, by any chance?

Fecklessdizzy · 02/12/2011 15:46

Got to admit OP ( now that I've finally stopped sniggering ) If I was you I'd be introducing a variation to the Bum Slap Game called Knee In The Knackers every Time You Touch Me and see how that went down ...

coraltoes · 02/12/2011 15:56

You have to live blog the day!

Adversecamber · 02/12/2011 16:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DeckTheHugeWithBoughsOfManatee · 02/12/2011 16:16

Adverse Isn't it an immutable law of FILs that they have long, boring conversations about A roads? My grandfather did it to my dad, and my FIL now does it to us. I have concluded that it's a law of nature.

PopcornMouse · 02/12/2011 16:24

It sound horrendous op! Not the bum slapping bit, but kids pulling hinges off doors? Xmas Shock

I agree with everyone else - now is the perfect time to start new traditions. You can be more tolerant from a distance, or for a shorter stay :o

PopcornMouse · 02/12/2011 16:25

*doors off hinges. Clearly a Friday. Wine

HairyGrotter · 02/12/2011 16:31

Take a rosary, pebbles, holy water and litre bottle of Iceland's Vodkat. That'll see you right.

Sounds like hell

PamBeesly · 02/12/2011 16:39

I want to go on your behalf just to observe, they sound like a right bunch! If I were you I'd say I want to have Xmas day dinner at your own place and visit his family in the morning, later afternoon, then you only have to contend with the madness for an hour or 2...a compromise?

mummylin2495 · 02/12/2011 16:40

There are dances on you tube which shows how to do the slapped ass dance but having just looked at you tube i have no idea how to view it as its all changed. Maybe the Op could take a camera with her and she could teach me Xmas Grin

WhoseGotMySquirrelsEyebrows · 02/12/2011 16:45

What a nightmare! Why not tell DH that you feel you should spend a special christmas together ALONE seeing as you are trying to work things out?

Why on earth would it be funny to chuck small hard objects into each others eyes!

MidnightHag · 02/12/2011 16:55

Personally, the "mucky bathroom" would be a dealbreaker for me.

nightowlmostly · 02/12/2011 17:01

I say if you have no kids, get out of this relationship before you have to negotiate the pils looking after (or not) your children, and having to take them there for xmas too! Seriously!

fulllife · 02/12/2011 19:25

feline arsehole club? i will be using this forever, now...

CheerfulYank · 02/12/2011 19:51

Will you live blog? PLEASE?

trixie123 · 02/12/2011 20:11

sorry OP, I haven't read the whole thread and I appreciate this is a serious and difficult time for your family.I would suggest not going and emphasising the importance of your own family (ie you, DH and kids). But can I just say I was giggling at the "bum slap dance and acorn throwing" before i even got to the description at which point I pretty much fell off the chair! It sounds like something King Thistle would enjoy.

mumzy · 02/12/2011 20:49

Are you married to Biffa Bacon?

JamieComeHome · 02/12/2011 20:58

OMG

They sound awful

I could not tolerate living with someone who thought all of this was normal

JamieComeHome · 02/12/2011 21:04
Morloth · 02/12/2011 21:05

If you don't have kids with him.

Dump him and run.

RomanChristingle · 02/12/2011 21:21

If you are supposed to be trying to please EACH OTHER then you need to come to a compromise. You don't want to go and he does so how about you have Christmas just the two of you and pop round to mils on Xmas eve or another day in the holiday when the house will be less crowded since you've said the mil is ok on her own?

But I think you really need to think about whether you actually want to save your relationship. Your dp's family sound insane and the acorn doesn't seem to have fallen far from the tree with your dp Grin

JugglingWithGoldandMyrhh · 02/12/2011 21:26

Well said RomanChristingle Xmas Smile

BertieBotts · 03/12/2011 01:01

Clearly, the solution is to leave him the week before Christmas. Then at New Year stage a romantic gesture in order to win him back with no hard feelings.

Or just take some drugs.

whethergirl · 03/12/2011 01:27

I hate having my bum slapped. It just makes me want to punch the person. No-one has ever thrown an acorn at me but I think it would probably provlke the same response.

It's times like this I'm glad I'm single. Just me and ds on xmas day to stuff our faces, watch loads of tv and play with new toys. Heaven.

You say you like the mum, so can you just not make more effort to spend time with her rather than the whole family. That would be a compromise, i.e. you're making an effort with his family but just not when they're altogether.

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