For not wanting to go to his parents at Christmas because of stupid traditions they have

[LittleEmanuel]

DP and I have been going through a rough time lately to the point where I honestly thought it was over and was assuming I'd be single by the new year. We've recently (in the past week) decided to try and work things out.

Problem is we have been invited around to his parents (again) on Christmas day. We get invited every year and I hate it but this year I was rather excited at the prospect of not having to go.

However because DP and I are on dodgy ground and we're supposed to be trying to please each other right now, I kind of feel obliged but I really don't want to go. They have the most stupid, odd traditions like the bum slap dance and acorn throwing and it's just bloody ridiculous. I don't mind a bit of fun but this shit always goes too far, ends up with someone going off in a mood and makes me want to tear my own eyes out.

AIBU to tell DP I really don't want to go or will it jeapordise our relationship?

Oh god I'm at work - my students are sitting a mock exam - and I can't stop laughing.

OP, I'm going to report you if you add anything to this thread!

Has the OP given any more detail about what this acorn throwing actually involves? Am creasing myself reading this thread between bits and bobs at work so am worried I've missed a crucial detail

Pande arf @ ritz crackers

Hmm! I came on this thread thinking YWBU as I like the fact that families build up their own weird little traditions. Also I find it hard to envisage how anyone could get hurt by a flying acorn as they are only wee.

However, the scene you describe in the restaurant sounds appalling. There is no way in the world I would want to be linked to a family who thought this sort of public behaviour was acceptable. If that makes me a snob then I couldn't care less.

Omg run, run like the wind

However because DP and I are on dodgy ground and we're supposed to be trying to please each other right now

Presuming this is a real situation, he should be trying to please you too. I wouldn't go back after the first time because it sounds stupid.

I think there is a middle ground between acorn throwing and bum slaps and what seems like Norma Major's christmas with the achingly polite quality street selection.

It's called NORMAL. You don't have to be a complete whack job to have fun.

Why would you let your kids take a door off a hinge and rip down a shower curtain.

I would have to sit in the shed with a bottle of vodka if I had to go there.

Am crying with laughter but wonder if the OP is making it up. It's all too good to be true.

If it is true, I suggest you invent a new game called "Punching FiL in the eye every time he bum slaps someone."

If you haven't - do not marry or have children with someone who enjoys this stuff.

I could be polite and put up with it one Christmas in three (his parents, your parents, at home) if I was with someone who also saw it as something to put up with. If he thinks this is all good fun then run run run like the wind.

Maybe you are actually just incompatible. I can't imagine that I would want his family as in-laws, I certainly wouldn't want them as Grandparents etc to my kids. If that makes me a snob, so be it!

This reminds me of the family in one of the Police academy films, where he takes his new girlfriend to meet his parents, and she has to stand and watch him and his Father beating the hell out of each other because it's such good fun

Don't go. Tell your DP that you hope he has a wonderful time and that you're looking forward to seeing him on Boxing Day.

I was going to suggest you invite them to play 'Are you there, Moriarty?' too.

Tell your DP that you will be equipping yourself with squirty something or other and every time Step-FIL attempts to slap your arse he will get a squirt right in the eye.

If I had a family like this (and they are not always far off) , I think I would be able to appreciate that not everyone finds it fun, ad plan an escape hatch of some sort. And definitley tell them to restrict the bum slap dance to kids and dirty old men. Separately, of course.

Agreed Get0rf. I did initially joke that the OP's PiLs scenario would be welcome relief from Christmas with Hyacinth & Victor but as she embellishes the picture, I'm thinking it would be equally as unpleasant in the madhouse.

If he was as keen to work things out as you are, he would have the balls to tell his family that you and he are staying at yours this Xmas for some quality time as a couple. Whether they know about the problems you are having or not, they ought to respect that. If he refuses to do this... I honestly think you are better off without him.

Ha ha! This sounds hilarious. At least they sound cheerful .

this. tbh you sound a bit cats bummy OP

Enjoying your adjectivisation of cat's bum there, AA

actually i imagine being hit by a hard hurled acorn would be much the same as a having a pebble thrown at you, and that it would hurt.

i recommend, op, if you do go, that you bring a bottle of tequila with you and you drink it all yourself. that'll help you to handle the bum slap game

If the OP sounds "catsbummy", Antique, then I'm right there with her in the Feline Arsehole Club. There's a world of difference between a convivial celebration and the Viz Christmas Special.

Take a load of massive conkers, ice cubes and several hungry ferrets with you

If you can't beat them, join them...

It does seem that the wrestling, bum slapping, object hurling etc isn't done out of aggression or anger just a misguided sense of fun. Is it your FIL or Step-FIL if MIL is re-married?

Blimey they sound exhausting. They are trying way too hard to be zany and whacky. Eccentricity is one thing but not caring how uncomfortable you make other people at Christmas is something else. No idea what you should do though, except be honest with your DP and suggest you have a quiet Christmas at home together to sort it out.

I have just snorted tea everywhere at Feline Arsehole Club

Yes, that did raise a smile, even here