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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be horrified by parents taking illegal drugs at family parties?

188 replies

BillieBonkers · 01/12/2011 15:34

Parents disappearing upstairs and taking Coke, or smoking / inhaling cannabis while their kids are playing in other rooms, seems to be getting more and more 'usual' at parties or get togethers round here. And I feel like my other half and I are the only ones to find this upsetting and very worrying. There is one particuar couple with kids at the same school as ours who do this more than others, but they are cerainly not the only ones. And the attitude seems to be that this is quite acceptable, and if you don't agree then you are somehow abit 'square' or uptight (like being back at college...)
These parents are all in their 30s and 40s.
The worst time was when this couple had a party for their 8 year old, where about 20 other children were invited (without parents). A few other parents did stay (including me because I was concerned about leaving mine there unsupervised). During this party, while responsible for other children, this couple and a few others smoked dope, drank and took cocaine and were all completely 'under the influence'.
Their kids seem happy and well looked after, but do I have some responsibility to do anything about this, before something bad happens to one of those children :(

OP posts:
exoticfruits · 01/12/2011 22:15

It confirms my opinion that small parties are best and drop and leave.

exoticfruits · 01/12/2011 22:16

If you drink too much yes. I'm not sure what would be in the pipe which doesn't smell and doesn't pollute the lungs.

LeBOF · 01/12/2011 22:17

I think only a little hash brownie is acceptable at a children's party, Pictish.

FreudianSlipper · 01/12/2011 22:19

sounds appealing kids parties are not fun

but no its not good though do not really have a problem with dope as long as they were not too stoned the same with drink

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 01/12/2011 22:21

P
M
S
L

at you Pictish Grin

"consistently failed to do" indeed!

Sorry, I failed to insert the bit about children being present at the party in the earlier post.

You would be a great advert for a dopehead if you had a better sense of humour ducks.

Ifancyashandy · 01/12/2011 22:24

Tiny genuine question, what would you do if you were at a family party with your son, say around Christmas, and people were drinking? Would you leave?

redpanda13 · 01/12/2011 22:24

I am off to a children's Christmas party on the 10th. Will the 10.30 am start make it unacceptable for me to hand round the cocaine or should I wait until midday? What is the etiquette for children's parties now? I thought party bags or non-organic food were the height of a parent's party angst.
ding dong merrily on HIGH
Sorry I still find it hard to believe this is as widespread as made out. I and a lot of my friends are old ravers. Some of us have calmed down since having children and some are still having the odd pill/line/spliff. Yet have never been at a child's party where anyone took drugs. Most of my friends who still partake are the most militant organic food, cloth nappy wearing and child centred people you could meet. They would kill you for sparking up a B&H in the garden never mind anything harder. One guy I know and who I doubt slept for the entire 90's does not let his children into the kitchen when he cooks a curry as the smell of the spices can irritate eyes, ears etc

Ifancyashandy · 01/12/2011 22:27

Sorry, that was to tigerlily not tiny

LeBOF · 01/12/2011 22:27

I think you might get away with a bong, if the theme is Moroccan.

pictish · 01/12/2011 22:28

LeBof - how very civilised! I like!

I don't actually have any real desire to argue with you bibbity or you exotic....I'm simply trying to raise the point that quite a lot of people have negative opinions about people like me who like a wee puff, without having any tangible reason for them, other than it's not mainstream.

I say mainstream schmainstream. I'm not hurting anyone else and I don't particularly appreciate being told I have to grow out of it or that I'm a loser, when the person dishing it out has nothing to back up their argument other than a fear of not conforming.

You do your thing and I'll do mine.

verytellytubby · 01/12/2011 22:30

I'm going to the wrong parties. Where do you live?

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe · 01/12/2011 22:33

Well I do have an issue with you Pictish - don't be so fucking silly! I don't have a problem with anything not "mainstream" . I just think there's a time and a place. I also think there's nothing as dreary as an old druggy. Have you seen what has become of Anita Pallenberg?

pictish · 01/12/2011 22:35

Sorry, I failed to insert the bit about children being present at the party in the earlier post

You were not referring to children's parties when you said Even though I have experimented with all sorts of drugs I am definitely VERY catsbum when acquaintances of mine use drugs at parties now. There has to come a point when you grow out of it, surely were you?

You meant recreational drug use at any party. Tell the truth now! Grin

tigerlillyd02 · 01/12/2011 22:38

Ifancyashandy Yes I would without any doubt. If I go somewhere with my child, my childs safety and emotional wellbeing comes first. What happens without him present is a different matter.

Luckily the majority of people in my family aren't drinkers and put their children first when it comes to things like that also. A family party in the day time would not include alcohol and certainly not drugs with children present. The people involved in that particular incident weren't direct family members - both boyfriends of family members (one has since split and funnily enough the other had their own child taken from them).

Night time, without children, fair enough. I do not drink at all myself - personally don't see the need for altering your frame of mind.

Ifancyashandy · 01/12/2011 22:47

Gosh. I went to a million family parties when I was a kid, alcohol would be consumed but no harm came to us. Same with now I'm an adult. No drugs though.

Guess parents/we're able to consume without getting totally trashed. Each to their own.

but I need booze to cope with family dos

pictish · 01/12/2011 22:48

Parting shot - no-one has to join in with, approve of, or like anything they don't want to....but it doesn't hurt to think about why you feel the way you do before you spouting off at others if they DO wish to. If there's no harm done, then there's no harm done. Thumbs up all round.
Night x

LemonDifficult · 01/12/2011 22:54

YANBU but don't bother to report them, just avoid them.

Children are sort of clean and pot smoke is just really skanky. A bit like a nasty smudge over the whole party. It's a bit grim.

exoticfruits · 02/12/2011 07:33

I wouldn't want my DCs to be at any party where adults were drunk, smoking or taking drugs so I would simply leave. I wouldn't enjoy it either, so it wouldn't be a hardship.
I wouldn't want it at an adult only party and am very intolerant of smoking these days, and have reached an age where I just choose not to put up with it, and vote with my feet.

OrmIrian · 02/12/2011 10:16

Having been in the past fond of the odd toke . I now rarely partake because

  1. it's all EVIL now! Either that or I am getting old. The last time I had any I ended up wanting to curl up in a corner and cry it was so strong.
  1. When my children see me doing it (which I am sure they would have done eventually) I would have to try and explain why it was OK to be doing something clearly illegal. I could argue the rights and wrongs of it's illegality but I think that is besides the point for children. They are old enough to know what I am doing now. I am happy for them to think me an old fart not happy for them to think I routinely break the law.
Thinkingof4 · 02/12/2011 10:35

suburbophobe

There is a recognised link between chronic cannabis use and the onset of schizophrenia in susceptible individuals. You are obviously lucky enough not to have that mix of genes which is why you have got away with it.... Others may not be so lucky

Personally I am shocked that anyone would take any drugs at a kids party. 1 beer or glass of wine is the most I would expect anyone to have.
But I am an extreme lightweight so probably wouldn't have anything Grin

StaceymAloneForver · 02/12/2011 11:05

i think the point that i find hard to get is the need to do coke at a kids party, i don't have a need for alcohol at a kids party, if it is offered i may/may not partake but wouldn't need it.

And wouldn't understand why you would want coke at a kids party, so would only assume that's a need situation, which is quite sad.

I'm not a square, but i don't get drunk when i have charge of my kids, but that's only coz i get every other weekend without them so get shitfaced can drink then.

Get0rf · 02/12/2011 11:20

I have all those bloody 16 years olds in my house because it is my dd's birthday and she wants a party. We are having a BARBECUE. 10 days before christmas. Half of them are sleeping on sleeping bags on blow up beds on the sitting room floor, and the rest are split between 2 bedrooms.

I am going to stay in my bedroom all night with cocaine

Grin

Then these same people will rail at me for smoking a bowl at home by myself and watching telly when DH and flatmate go out with kids for the day.

What's a bowl? Is it one of those constructions they did in school made out of old pop bottles and a plastic bag?

Get0rf · 02/12/2011 11:25

Also, and I may be being woefully ignorant here, the difference I think between alcohol and drugs is that you know exactly what is in the alcohol, it is legally made and distributed. Look at all the trouble they have had recently with illegally made cheap vodka. You haven't a clue what is in it, so drinking it is taking a risk with your health. If you have drunk before, you know how a vodka and coke will affect you. You would not know how illegally made vodka would affect you, as you don't know what is in it.

Same with drugs. you cannot be sure what is in one batch compared to another as the production is completely unregulated. You may me unlucky and get a load of harmful stuff.

That's why I think it should be completely decriminalised and production controlled safely and securely. People are always going to takle drugs, so why leave the whole business in criminal hands with all that entails.

I am sorry, that is not what this thread is about though.

redroof · 02/12/2011 12:01

Exactly Get0rf A very dear friend nearly died from x-cut "coke" :(

redroof · 02/12/2011 12:03

My point being, it could only take one line/pill/ whatever, before one of these kids lose a parent.
What's wrong with a good ol' British cuppa and some birthday cake these days?

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