to be horrified by parents taking illegal drugs at family parties?

[BillieBonkers]

Parents disappearing upstairs and taking Coke, or smoking / inhaling cannabis while their kids are playing in other rooms, seems to be getting more and more 'usual' at parties or get togethers round here. And I feel like my other half and I are the only ones to find this upsetting and very worrying. There is one particuar couple with kids at the same school as ours who do this more than others, but they are cerainly not the only ones. And the attitude seems to be that this is quite acceptable, and if you don't agree then you are somehow abit 'square' or uptight (like being back at college...)
These parents are all in their 30s and 40s.
The worst time was when this couple had a party for their 8 year old, where about 20 other children were invited (without parents). A few other parents did stay (including me because I was concerned about leaving mine there unsupervised). During this party, while responsible for other children, this couple and a few others smoked dope, drank and took cocaine and were all completely 'under the influence'.
Their kids seem happy and well looked after, but do I have some responsibility to do anything about this, before something bad happens to one of those children :(

It wasn't directed to me but I think that anyone who is a parent and takes illegal drugs is a loser (and somewhat pathetic and to be avoided).

Sorry - that was to Bibbity

I guess, I am biased because my own mum smokes weed and had a very reasonable conversation with me when I was about 14 about how different people react differently, some quite badly and no matter what you do recreationally, always do it in moderation and never let a substance control your life. I find it absurd that people who drink (which is much much worse IMO) think people who smoke weed are incapable of doing things.

This is the scale. Alcohol is rated as more harmful and addictive than cannabis.

Yes...I get that....but you haven't explained why?

That was to exotic

Drinking is legal how ever much it shouldn't be you can't put the genie back on the bottle

Would you hand over your child to a teacher who has been on the wacky backy because I would not being in charge or a child whilst on drugs or even when your drunk is disgraceful

I couldn't take drugs now that I have a child. I simply can't live with the risk that I could leave my daughter without a mum. Be it in mind or body. I've had my fun and now I am quite happy to leave my raving days behind. That one line of coke/pill etc could kill if you react badly and unfortunately these is just no way of telling if you have a bad batch or not. I wish I was this sensible when I was 16-23 :o

Because I enjoy a glass of wine with my DCs-it is entirely different to suggesting a line of coke. I don't want them messing up their brains. (I also don't want them drinking to excess).

Disgraceful in my opinion! I hate any sort of 'adult' behaviour at any party where there are children present - whether this be alcohol, drugs, sexual conversation etc.

I took my child (19 months at the time) to a 5 yr olds birthday party (a family member) where some of the male adults were drinking. Although I didn't agree, these males were regular drinkers so didn't think too much of it in all honesty (it was a bouncy castle / BBQ type party). These same men ended up play fighting - one of them picked the other up, my ds ran over near them... me in hot persuit but both of them fell on top of him - on concrete. I'd never in all my life seen a head injury so bad and it was an immediate a&e trip. Luckily he was alright, although I'm very surprised and feel very lucky!

I learned my lesson the hard way (my poor boy suffering as a consequence). But never, ever again shall I be attending any party with DS where adults are using it for a party of their own also.

I have seen pictures on facebook of childrens parties where the adults are playing 'adult' games - acting out sexual positions etc with the children in the background. Makes me feel sick.

Anyway, now I'd always act on it if I know this behaviour is going on. What might seem like a bit of 'harmless' fun to some can have devestating consequences for children - it only takes once!

DH has older friends in his industry who have teenage children. They have varying ideas about this subject and they seem to fall roughly into two camps:

Camp A: We've lost too many friends through reckless use of recreational drugs (all of them, alcohol included) and you will never take them because it is very dangerous.

Camp B: You're probably going to take illegal drugs and abuse alcohol when you are young. I'd prefer you did it in as safe a circumstance as possible so when you're ready let me know and we'll talk about how we can help you to do it in a way that endangers you as little as possible.

tigerlily your poor DS.

Exotic - I was talking about smoking a spliff, so please can you stick to answering what I asked, instead of changing the subject to suit your argument?

Why would you think I was a loser if I smoked a spliff?

As an aside...the 'cultural norm' argument falls way flat. It's the cultural norm to read the Daily mail, and buy shit you don't need on credit cards and get into debt. It's the cultural norm to vote Tory, and eat junk food and become obese. It's the cultural norm to drive 4x4s and redecorate every three years. We live in a greedy, classist, bigoted, I'm-alright-Jack society, if you want to talk about the cultural norm.
Fuck the cultural norm....the cultural norm is a prick.

So anyway....exotic and bibbity - why am I a loser if I smoke a spliff?

I appreciate that cannabis has done damage to people but it is also the Skunk type - which I wouldn't touch, hate the smell even, can immediately tell it's OTT... - I don't know what they've done with the propagation of the cannabis plant since the 70's/80's and beyond....

That's why I only smoke pure grass, not even hashish, it's all been doctored, moroccan hash with henna, etc.
(never mind the cocaine!). No chemicals for me, mate!!

I'm just of the opinion that grass has grown for ever, been used for ever (2000+ years). It's when you mess with it (mixing and matching) that the problems start.

By the way, if you think I am unaffected by it, you would be wrong, my ex went "mad", but who knows if that was to blame. (different culture, religion, racism here etc.).
He hardly smoked anyway. And he'd already smoked in his home country before coming to Europe.

I personally don't think cannabis has anything to do with the onset of schizophrenia, it could be a catalyst, (this was verified by a professional who I talked to searching for answers about the father of my child).

I've smoked it since 16 (40 years) and still got my life together, career, travelling, single mum and son at top uni doing great, not boasting, just saying...

Don't believe everything the media tell you....

tiny that was a good chat that your mum had with you, and entirely accurate.

I'll remember that one for 16 14 12 years time

I've been at millions two or three parties where family members were pissed around dc and there have never, ever been untoward incidences or injuries.

Because as an adult, you can have fun, get a bit pissed and not be fall over/vomit/lose all your faculties off your nozzle.

Oops incidents, not indidences

Arrrgh not incidences

I'm not pissed, honest

Goodness me Pictish, you are hilariously defensive.

As you will see if you read my posts properly, I would think you a loser if you had to smoke a joint at a party where children were present.

If you do it at any other time - again, as you would see if you had read properly - I really couldn't care this much [holding thumb and forefinger 1mm apart emoticon].

That's the one thing I always knew as a (single) parent...

You can have fun as long as you keep it together. No-one else to do it for you.

24/7

24/7 and 20 years.

So yes, even if I do a joint of an evening, so what? Still did the upbringing o.k.

Taking coke at a childs party, just so sad. I find as i get older i'm really reactionary uptight, i think bar the coke, before i had a child, i probably would have thought a drink and a spliff was OK (all be it done v,discretely) at a bar-b-que for instance.

But now, im just NO,no,no. It's just wrong and although chances are the children would be ok, what if(fill in) happened?

Even though I have experimented with all sorts of drugs I am definitely VERY catsbum when acquaintances of mine use drugs at parties now. There has to come a point when you grow out of it, surely

No mention of kids there Bibbity - so if you are 'definitely VERY catsbum' then you do care. You care loads. I'm not 'hilariously defensive'....I am calmly asking you to validate that opinion with a tangible reason for it, which you have consistently failed to do.

So....so far I've had one offering as to why I am a loser if I smoke a spliff, and that is that it's not the cultural norm....which we can all agree is pretty lame as a supporting argument. Lots of cultural norms are shit and immoral and are tolerated and even encouraged by us all....so I'll dismiss that one.

If it's ok to drink a glass of wine...why is it not ok to smoke a spliff? Other than the fact that some people don't like it, which frankly isn't my concern. I don't particularly enjoy drinking....but certainly don't mind if anyone else wants to.

We already know that research proves that cannabis is less harmful as a substance than alcohol, yes? It's much less addictive and linked with far fewer medical conditions in a negative way.

Can anyone here offer me an actual reason as to why I am doing something wrong if I smoke a spliff?
al....as are plenty of other things that culturally normal people do day in day out....so that falls flat as well.
Ever answer your mobile while you're driving huh? Ever tax dodged, or downloaded something off the net that you're not supposed to hmmm?

So.......

If you're saying yes to wine, then why can't I say no thanks, and have a smoke instead?

Lost some text there somehow....I was saying that the 'it's illegal' shout falls flat as well.

Exotic - I was talking about smoking a spliff, so please can you stick to answering what I asked, instead of changing the subject to suit your argument?

Why would you think I was a loser if I smoked a spliff?

Sorry-just come back to it. I thought we were talking about coke. Smoking anything kills-I wouldn't pollute my lungs. No one smokes anything in my house-they go out in the garden, whatever the weather.
Normal tobacco smells vile. I am really pleased now that you can go out in the evening and not have to wash all clothes when you get home.
I would hate my DCs to smoke and even worse if it was mind altering.

It really depends how you live no? around our way kids have birthday parties where adults will have a drink or not (whatever) but it is mostly about kids games and birthdays blah blah. But we will also have tonnes of parties where there is no occasion and everyone bowls up- kids, friends, grannies, unattached adults, dogs and neighbours. At these BBQs or whatever they are, booze, grass and whatever will be consumed by whoever fancies it. People are always discrete about using drugs around children and most of the fun stuff only happens when they are in bed when a fire will be lit and the night rolls on. Everyone looks out for the kids and everyone looks out for each other. I can't imagine wanting to live my life in any other way to be honest.

YY I agree - the smoking part of it sucks.

What if, theoretically, I smoke a little pipe then, and there's no tobacco involved....and bearing in mind that alcohol is mind altering and a depressant also, am I still a loser?