to be horrified by parents taking illegal drugs at family parties?

[BillieBonkers]

Parents disappearing upstairs and taking Coke, or smoking / inhaling cannabis while their kids are playing in other rooms, seems to be getting more and more 'usual' at parties or get togethers round here. And I feel like my other half and I are the only ones to find this upsetting and very worrying. There is one particuar couple with kids at the same school as ours who do this more than others, but they are cerainly not the only ones. And the attitude seems to be that this is quite acceptable, and if you don't agree then you are somehow abit 'square' or uptight (like being back at college...)
These parents are all in their 30s and 40s.
The worst time was when this couple had a party for their 8 year old, where about 20 other children were invited (without parents). A few other parents did stay (including me because I was concerned about leaving mine there unsupervised). During this party, while responsible for other children, this couple and a few others smoked dope, drank and took cocaine and were all completely 'under the influence'.
Their kids seem happy and well looked after, but do I have some responsibility to do anything about this, before something bad happens to one of those children :(

pictish
Oh I just think its a bit pathetic if you can't grow out of doing recreational drugs. Even Keith Richards and Ronnie Wood had to do it eventually.

Why not stop when you are still relatively youthful and can see the world through reasonably straight eyes?

But it's not pathetic if you enjoy a glass of wine, right? That's perfectly acceptable?

So...a spliff = pathetic.
A glass of wine = hunky dory.

Why?

I mean, I don't drink at all and will sometimes smoke a little weed with DH after the kids have all gone to sleep. Haven't really since DD2 came along. She's not a very good sleeper. If we're at a grown up party with other grown ups and someone produces a joint, I'll smoke it. But in the early evening with the DC still around!? At a children's party!? COCAINE!? I think you can be a responsible weed smoker, just like you can be a responsible drinker but I have never in my life seen a responsible person on cocaine.

Ronnie Wood has NOT grown out of using recreational drugs... although I suspect Viagra is probably his main drug of choice these days!

The whole 'grow out of it' thing is an interesting one. Surely if you have taken the decision at some point in your life that taking drugs is ok, then your age has little to do with it?
You may change the way you do it, or how often or whatever, but I just don't see it as a 'growing out of it' issue.

It's a decision that, once made, may mean you do it once in a while even when over 40. I'm not speaking from personal experience.

Largely because I'm not 40 yet....

Glass of wine more the cultural norm, obviously.

I couldn't give a toss what the cultural norm is...I'm an individual, and can make up my own mind what to enjoy, or not, as the case may be. I'm not a big drinker for example.

So, you thinking it's 'a bit pathetic' asides....why do we have to grow out of it Bibbity?

Coke does not have the adverse affects that a spliff does, a spliff would knock me cold, make me puke and somewhat hysterical. Coke wouldn't do that would just make me talk shit.

Oh I really couldn't care less what you do pictish.

Just sayin that if I happen to come to a party in your house (which I very much doubt - no way would you invite a square like me) and your children are there and mine are there then I will think you a bit of a loser if you smoke a joint.

OK?

bibbitybobbitybloodyaxe I know, right! I have had people openly mock me for refusing wine at parties. I just don't like drinking! Then these same people will rail at me for smoking a bowl at home by myself and watching telly when DH and flatmate go out with kids for the day. Double standard, if you ask me.

Oops! Meant pictish copy/paste fail!

And you too tinyarmy.

Heh heh heh.

I've only skimmed the thread, but I am a tad at people snorting coke and smoking a joint at the same time (not literally, before some pedant decides to leap). One or t'other, surely, they don't exactly go hand in hand imeo.

Though I am with whichever wise poster said at a kid's party they'd be mainlining heroin - yep, me too.

GetOrf - one night's a breeze, I promise. Well it is compared to having two lots of 16 and 17 years olds for two weeks at a time. Now that was a time for heavy use of anything

I've got a fairly liberal attitude towards recreational drug taking but I don't think it's a good idea at kids parties to drink or to take drugs to inebriation level. Personally I think one drink or 1 line of coke is neither here nor there you could still function fine and could appear normal, weed has almost immediate intoxicating effects imo and i'd question the judgement of a stoned person in charge of dcs.

I'm biased though as I hate hate hate cannabis as a drug, both from personal experience, seeing the effects on people I know both personally and professionally. At best it makes people dull and f**k (I always leave gatherings when the skinning up starts) and at worst psychotic.

When my dcs are awake I never have more than 2 small glasses of wine, then get pissed after they've gone to bed . My per hate is seeing drunk/off their head parents staggering round with their kids, the kids always look anxious and resigned makes me

Bibbity has hit the nail on the head; it is about social norms. I think that's what irritates me so much about the whole drink/drugs debate.

Drugs being illegal patently doesn't work in terms of sorting out the issues associated with non recreational drug use. However, the media would never allow even a sensible debate on any other way forward, because it goes against the 'normal' brigade.

Pshaw, to normal.

I don't know why anyone would smoke a joint with their kids present. I get pissy when people ask if there's something to drink when the kids are around I always say "Of course, we have tea or water!"

Wholly agree with minxy about dopeheads. Dear God. If you want to be sociable fun have some speed or even poppers, fgs.

minxofmancunia That's rubbish. Smoking weed helped me curb many of my anxiety and food issues when I was in college. Drugs and alcohol affect different people differently. I know people who fall asleep as soon as they smoke a J and others who have smoked a J before doing hours of very fiddly model building. I am by no means incapable of doing things while stoned. I'm AMAZED that you think cocaine is less of a problem than a joint. The worst decisions I have seen people make have been while drunk or on cocaine. The worst I've done while stoned is bought too much food at the supermarket.

Unless you are happy for your DCs to take illegal drugs at 18yrs it is deeply hypocritical. They do as you do and they do not do as you say-they are also quick to spot hypocrisy.
I am quite happy for mine to drink alcohol at 18yrs, in fact I would expect to be able to go to the pub with them or have a glass of wine with a meal. I do not expect to give them the name of a drug dealer.

If you do want them to join you with coke etc then there isn't a problem.

Why would you think I was a bit of a loser if I smoked a joint?

Yes I went to a party a while ago people were openly somking weed

We left after 5 minutes

Their were lots of children their I was very shocked I did ring the host to note my displeasure the next day