to ask SiL to pay kennel fees for our dog over Xmas?

[bex2011]

We have been invited to my PiL over Xmas along with DH's brother and his family. They have said they will only go if our dog goes into kennels. SiL has a real problem with the dog and her children being in the same house. We have FiL has said he will put a baby gate at the kitchen door and the dog can stay behind that. Dog and children wouldn't need to be in the same room at all. This isn't good enough. Dog shows no signs at all of agression. She is fine with my niece and nephew and has adapted really well to having a baby in the house. Everyone who knows the dog and the situation thinks it's ridiculous and there is no reason why dog and children can't be together.

They will be at inlaws from Xmas day lunchtime until boxing day evening. The kennels have said that dog would need to go in Xmas eve before lunch until day after boxing day, totalling 4 days of kennel fees.

AIBU to ask them to foot the bill for this? Part of me knows that I am, but they show no degree of compromise to find a situation that works.

So the PiL like the dog, enjoy the dog and have invited the dog. What will she do if they get a dog?

Also the Pil are not been forced to choose between their own daughter and a dog.

The SiL if forcing a issue on them that the PiL had clearly tried to resolve after inviting what I assume is also their son's dog.

I think this goes beyond liking/disliking dogs tbh. Regardless of some of the loony arguments about dogs that are being broached on this thread from both sides, a lot of people have said the same thing.

Either you or your dh need to speak to SiL directly about this and openly to get it resolved. but rather you than me

Thefidgety - would depend on the breed I guess. Unlikely to see a sausage dog jump a stair gate but my springer spaniel can jump stair gates, she can jump dog gates (6 inches highers) and she can jump a dog gate with a plank of wood under it to raise it another 4 inches off the ground.

I'd hazard a guess that anything with Boxer in it could clear a baby gate, but the OP would know better than me.

baby, some things you just can't compromise on. That is not me being selfish, or obstructive, but if you really can't abide dogs, keeping one in the kitchen is just not a compromise at all. How am I ever meant to make myself a cup of tea, or use the kitchen at all? Plus, there is the smell, that makes my stomach turn. They really do make me feel uneasy, and to have to subject myself to that for a few days, it's just not worth the stress to me. As the SIL, I'd have to decline. However, I really would expect my inlaws to prefer to see my children than my SILs dog, humans before pets every time - and if they didn't, I'd think they had their priorities wrong. OP should realise that a lot of people don't want to be around her dog. It is JUST a dog, you can't attach human traits to it.

The dog will have a great time at the kennels. He won't care.

Hahahaha Fio.

But can it get the christmas dinner timings right?

Dooin, have you tried spraying DN with water and shouting 'NO!' when he bites?

Kladdaka

I have Christmas Dog too, she loves the tree, the stockings and after dh Santa has been she growls at anyone who goes near the tree with a waggy tail and goofy grin until the children come down. in fact its the only night of the year she doesn't sleep in her bed.

"The dog will have a great time at the kennels. He won't care."

Have you ever been to a kennels TBJP? Most of the ones I've visited are just row upon row of runs with dogs barking at each other. The noise is deafening. The atmosphere most definitely not enjoyable.

Not all dogs smell bad. Mine get bathed every couple of days and smell of baby talc. They don't shed their fur either, so no hairs in your lasagne.

But a dog can't jump a crate [on commission]

here we have a stylish number in a stunning gold finish comes in a variety of sizes.

She's a staff x boxer
so why did it take you so long to disclose that? Because there is your answer and I knew before I got to that disclosure that your dog was going to be a staff or Doberman or similar.

Staff's are fighting dogs and although SOME OF THEM ARE THE LOVELIEST DOGS I'M SURE at the end of the day they are bred to be aggressive and I wouldn't want my young kids in close quarters with them either.

Would you really prefer you take the dog and have your SIL tense and nervous all day unable to relax and enjoy herself?

YABU - when you choose the dog surely you knew they weren't everyone's up of tea and some people are nervous around them. Its really not for you to dictate that these fears/nerves are unreasonable.

Honeydragon, our last dog was fascinated by tinsel and would steal it off the tree and bury it in the garden. The kids in the family had a great time chasing him trying to rescue it.

Kladdkaka - he doesn't know or like christmas - he just likes presents and who doesn't?

babybythesea - you may not have considered this particular scenario but surely you thought about what you would do with your dog when going somewhere you couldn't take it?

Umm, I'm assuming OP has kids too? It's not about seeing the dog over kids, it's about whether either/both families can go. If I couldn't take the dog I couldn't go (I'll say it again, we couldn't afford kennels at the moment, especially as we wouldn't have been expecting that and so haven't budgeted). Which means my kids couldn't go either....
I wasn't attaching human traits to a dog (although the one dog I did kennel didn't eat for 5 days and did definitely not have a great time in kennels - she wouldn't walk, wouldn't play, wouldn't eat...).
I understand that not everyone wants to be around my dog but I hate the 'it's my way or the highway' approach. Would you be prepared to think about what you would be happy with? Because if you kept meeting me with a blanket no to everything, then I'd get annoyed. It's not about me putting the dog above you, it's me saying 'I cannot do x, what about y?' and if I was met with someone who kept saying 'I will only tolerate x' then I'd get cross.

My BIL keeps his Boxer in a kennel int he garden. Well, in the day time when he's at work. The dog has an unfortunate habit of raiding the fridge for beer and eating door frames if he's left inside.

and a cover with handy pockets so the dog can be hidden from view

I hope my sister does not think IABU. It is okay to train other people's children, no?

Fidgety, my dog spent last week building himself a kennel by destroying and then rearranging our outside recycling cuboard, this is the same dog that ate his shiny, new, warm crate

Yes. I have three different family members who all adore her (and have their own dogs). I take her to any of those. So holidays abroad, overnight wedding etc are all covered). The problem would arise if someone new came into the mix and then demanded the dog didn't come to a family gathering. But I doubt anyone would survive in our family if they did that..!!

'Staff's are fighting dogs and although SOME OF THEM ARE THE LOVELIEST DOGS I'M SURE at the end of the day they are bred to be aggressive and I wouldn't want my young kids in close quarters with them either.'

Dooin you should know by now that a sensible conversation about SBTs is NEVER going to happen on here...

Dooin out of curiosity what is the second breed the KC recommends to be housed with children?

My dog doesn't got in kennels either. We've not had a problem in five years because we go to places where she's welcome so I don't understand what you meant when you asked baby that.

You can get lists of dog friendly pubs, b and bs, holiday let's etc online. It's not hard to go away in the uk with dogs and we don't go abroad anyway.

In an emergency I'd prob get my mum to look after the dog, as she's the person jd also ask to look after my dc too it's not an issue.

Dooin, everyone knows that SBT's are vicious killers that pick their teeth after a killing spree with babies. Everyone And they're probably secretly pitbulls. Or wolves.

Ah, dog threads are always fun