SIL deleted me off facebook - AIBU to be angry?

[Redhotmama80]

I need to know whether I'm being unreasonable about this. My BIL's wife has deleted me from facebook and its really pissed me off. I realised about an hour ago when I tried to include her in a group invite for the next girly night out with me and the other female relatives of my DP. Anyway I text BIL to say I couldn't reach her on FB and what was going on. He said he'd make her contact me and explain. So she text me and said she was just deleting people from FB that she didn't interact with much and that there was no drama. WTF!! we are practically family!

So I replied, saying that I thought it was weird but she couldn't say I hadn't tried to make an effort with her. She then replied again and said she hadn't meant to cause any offence and hoped things wouldn't be awkward. She also said she'd had a bad experience on FB recently that put her off the whole thing and also that she's pregnant and stressed out as she & BIL are carriers of a genetic disorder and they are waiting to do a cvs test.

Well I'm sorry that she's having a bad time with her pregnancy but I don't think that excuses her rudeness. I text her again to say that although i wish her well with the pregnancy yes, things WOULD be awkward now, that she's never made any effort with me or my children and that this just feels like a slap in the face. Also that I've got my own issues to deal with and that this really doesn't help! Anyway she didn't reply after that.

Am I being U? I'm getting married next week and am so stressed about everything, I really don't need this. And I honestly have tried to make an effort with her but it feels like it's all been thrown back in my face and this is just the final straw.

We've never really clicked. She's really quiet and doesn't have many friends so when they moved to our town, I tried to include her by inviting her on girls nights but she always made an excuse so I stopped asking. I never disliked her until an incident last year, on facebook, ironically enough. I posted a bit of a rant about obesity (it's something I do have strong opinions about) and she made quite a snarky reply to the effect that the obesity epidemic is just a moral panic. I felt really pissed off and patronised about that and since then I've actively disliked her. I think she's quite jealous of me as I'm naturally very slim and she's about a size 14-16. Apart from that, she's always polite but not over friendly and like I said, I have NEVER felt that she's made any effort with me or with my children.

That's it, in a nutshell. AIBU???

YABU and a horrible person. Bet you're not going to do anything about it though. Also why the fuck would a non-obese, non-eating-disordered person have 'strong opinions' about other people's fat?

I am so happy I closed my FB account, so much hassle!

You actively dislike her and yet you are upset that she has deleted you? Yabu.

You joined MN just to have this rant OP?

You need to get a grip.

She is indeed unreasonable, and I hope you are convinced now. Sorry you had to doubt yourself.

Thanks Plutolph, this is it exactly. Hearing that other people think her behaviour was unreasonable and unpleasant has been very reassuring! Actually, the fact that some people thought it must be a windup as she was so nasty has also made me feel loads better in a weird way. It's going to make it easier to get through the wedding, I'm still dreading it but think I'll find it easier to rise above any hostility now IYSWIM.

You are both as bad as each other.

Deleting family from Facebook = bad, rude, slap in the face etc.

Ranting about obesity and being dismissive about the impact of cvs tests = bad, insensitive and a bit twattish.

Voidka

It's a reverse AIBU

The SIL slagged off in the OP is a Mnetter, she did the op from her SIL POV using the exact words her SiL said to her when she found out she'd been deleted.

The op is Celia really. That daft mare honestly thought she might be unreasonable to have been upset at being called overweight, insensitive etc, so did an op from opposite pov too guage reaction.

How old are you? 15?

BTW you do realise that if she really does hate you, she will now tell everyone about your fall out and that you were over hormonal because of your pregnancy to get back at you. SO, if you haven't told your parents-in-law ......

DH told his mum about the row and her response was to tell me to ignore SIL as she's too wrapped up in the wedding to behave normally at the moment. PIL already knew about the pregnancy. As for her slating me to everyone else, I'm prepared for it and feel quite resigned to it tbh. I was upset at the thought of her doing that when this all happened last weekend but now I honestly don't care. It feels like she's shown herself up, if anything. And if anyone thinks badly of me because of anything she says, I just think "let them".

As for not making an effort with her kids, I genuinely don't know what she means. I'm not one of those people who is naturally brilliant with kids but I do show an interest in them and talk to them when we see them and always ask after them if we see BIL and SIL on their own. And I sent her a text just a couple of weeks ago asking what DH and I should get her little ones for Christmas. Not really sure what else she's been expecting that I haven't done. She also wrote in her ranty text to me that since I got together with DH I'd made no effort with her and her children. So this is obviously a long term resentment that's been simmering for years. And I honestly don't understand it at all.

Celia, can you post under the alternative name that it's a reverse aibu, because the thread is now so long that people will just scroll down looking for posts by the op, they won't notice yours, iyswim.

Good idea Maryz.

I want to know what the unreasonable obesity message was - just to get the full picture of bridezilla.

I've deleted peripheral family members from FB when it became obvious how different our life views were by their status updates. One got a bit narky, I don't care as I rarely see her, have nothing in common with her and don't really like her. I suspect the same situation here. YABU, and a bit crazy.

so i have learnt of a gunt. if you have a long gunt at least it will cover up your camel toe.

bonus!

Ah, a reverse AIBU. I did think that the original post was too articulate, considering the utter stupidity of the viewpoints being espoused.

Celia, of course it is thin bridezilla SIL who is being unreasonable. And your DH of course, and that's what would worry me more TBH. If there are serious concerns over the health of your unborn baby then your DH should be concerned with your health and that issue, not proclaiming judgements about the rights and wrongs of Facebook. Bridezilla SIL sounds like more hassle than she's worth.

Hope you get good news about your pregnancy soon.

THIS TOPIC WAS A REVERSE AIBU. HAVE EXPLAINED ALL, IN A POST BY MY REAL ID CeliaDeBohun ON PAGE 3 OR 4 - SINCERE APOLOGIES FOR ANY CONFUSION

Thank you Inertia DH has calmed down now and said that while he thinks I was wrong to delete her, he does think she's overreacted and that her response to my apol

Stupid phone!! DH now thinks SIL's response to my apology/explanation was mean spirited and self centred.

God yabu

I'd delete you.

Arf @ the thought of the extremely reasonable and most articulate Mme DeBohun flexing her fingers over the keys deep in contemplation of a fitting and believable username for her plebian SiL... Good work Celia

Oops!

Hope all goes well with the baby x

"so i have learnt of a gunt. if you have a long gunt at least it will cover up your camel toe.

bonus!"

You clearly didn't clock on this picture if you think that gunt is protection from camel toe.

I just google imaged searched gunt. I'm now mourning for the halcyon days before I google imaged seached gunt.

I have no idea why I added a d to image. Twice.