.. to NEVER wash DD's hair...

[GoTheFkToSleep]

She's 5. She hates it, I hate it and two days later its looks the same as before. I think I last washed it about 6 months ago. I do bath the child once a month whether she needs it or not every few days, and she goes swimming every now and then but I am not sure that counts as she won't get in the pool showers. There must be a mild disinfectant effect of the chlorine tho??

I say she has a sensory disorder because she finds normal clothes very uncomfortable etc but there is no clear dividing line between a 'disorder' and someone who is just a bit sensitive. She doesn't have a diagnosis and I intend to keep it that way unless there is a clear reason to get her labelled.

My friend does not use shampoo on her sons' hair until they were 8 or 9- just rinsed it in the bath with water. They never looked grubby or manky, and never had headlice. It is a complete fallacy that you need to spend £££ on expensive shampoos, nor even £ on very cheap detergent ones, a fallacy that at a quick glance most people on this thread seem to be buying into.

If you can shove her under the shower once in a while (maybe once a week) that should be enough to slosh out any residual little girl grime.

I do however think you need to beware of caving in too much to yours child's wants. It will not make her happy long-term to have no stricture or structure in her personal hygiene habits. If she's going to secondary school with dirty, she will suffer for it. Children are rarely kind to the unhygienic.

Ahh... so you have self diagnosed....

My DS def has some sensory issues, teeth cleaning food and hair washing being main ones - he is under a paed and due to be re assessed for other reasons too BUT does he still get his hair washed? Too bloody right! he screams blue murder shouts ow ow ow ow all of the time, very very stressful, but he's 4, so tough! I understand his problems/isues, but he is not tos ectreme as another postes child and he is manageable so it gets done, stress n all.

That's about right, Squeaky

Have you considered the possibility that she might just be allergic to nylon and/or wool? That would make most "normal clothes" uncomfortable.

I speak from experience. Back when I was a child, nobody had even heard of "sensory difficulties" and my mum thought I was just being difficult. After many years, she finally thought of having me tested for allergies.

I don't wash DD's hair much either. I think I've shampooed it twice in the last six months, it gets wet occasionally in the bath or swimming but no more than once a week. It's clean, doesn't smell and her scalp is healthy.

Mine on the other hand is a greasy the day after washing it. The more you wash it the more you need to wash it.

YANBU

I can understand your reasons for not getting a diagnosis, but it would just mean a different way of dealing with the reasons she doesn't like it rather than not doing it at all.

And you not liking to do it isn't a reason for letting her have steggy hair IMO.

I swear her hair is shiny and glossy, her scalp is clear, and she does not smell

I believe you!

I think you're giving her way too many choices.

I'm all for allowing my kids an element of control over their lives but they get showered or bathed every two days and hair washed twice a week whether they like it or not.

When it comes to choosing clothes they can choose from a selection of clothing that fits them, clothing two sizes too big is not an option provided.

Arf at you MN name Ems

unloved urchin or shiny and glossy? I cannot imagine those two going together!!

I believe you too

If it's not smelly and matted and her scalp is OK then I wouldn't worry. I don't notice a difference in my DDs hair whether I wash it frequently or less frequently.

Also chlorine is pretty harsh so if it's getting soaked in swimming pool water every so often that will be seeing to any grease that's gathered I reckon.

What about the dry shampoo?

'Don't sweat the small stuff' - IMO this is small stuff.

Right now LittleGTFTS is young and naturally sweet-smelling. This probably won't change for at least 3y, and a lot else can change in 3y, including her attitude to hairwashing.

If she has sensory issues, there's no point overwhelming her with it. It may change as she grows and matures, or she may need your help coping. That is something to work on, without actually doing the whole activity that upsets her.

My dd was a complete nightmare when it came to hairwashing. She would scream and badmouth us, it was awful. Bad enough at home, hideously embarrasing at the swimming pool. Then, in September - age 8 - she suddenly started washing it herself in the showers after swimming. No fuss, no bother. Bliss.

I don't.

My children never smell bad to me. Others' kids pretty much always do. Pheromones are a big part of mother-baby bonding. You are likely to think your DC smell pleasant, regardless of their cleanliness.

Ask an honest friend to smell your DC and tell you what she thinks.

Uncomfortable clothes? Perhaps she's sensitive to the washing powder you use - try an unscented washing powder.

EmmaR (good MNname) Thanx for your vote of confidence

Prettycandles - what you say pretty much sums up my philosophy. I am assuming that this one will fix itself eventually - if not I will deal with it when it becomes a problem

I can personally smell when a child hasn't had their hair washed in a while - it has a musty, sweaty, weird smell to it. I wouldn't notice unless cuddling them though or I I doubt I would, and the children I noticed it with, I know have their hair washed weekly.

Because of this I dread to think of what it's like after 6 months. However, I don't think I've ever got close enough to a child who hasn't had their hair washed for anywhere near that long so wouldn't know.

And thanx to Sardine too

op YANBU
people do a lot of unnecessary things to their children, believing that it will some how ease their way through this cruel world. It doesn't. What helps children grow into responsible adults, is being listened to and respected, while being given clear boundaries about things that matter.

it is possible to do both you know. just because you don't wash their hair because they don't want you to, it doesn't mean that they will turn into archetypal high school drop-outs. Some of the most badly-behaved children I know have the strictest parents.

Kids with dirty hair rarely get nits,nits like clean hair.