.. to NEVER wash DD's hair...

[GoTheFkToSleep]

She's 5. She hates it, I hate it and two days later its looks the same as before. I think I last washed it about 6 months ago. I do bath the child once a month whether she needs it or not every few days, and she goes swimming every now and then but I am not sure that counts as she won't get in the pool showers. There must be a mild disinfectant effect of the chlorine tho??

jeez, letting a child dictate at the age of 5 lol

wait till she is 9 - she will be the kid no one wants to play with cos she is such a spoilt brat

The problem is Birds that even if you follow your rainbow and wish upon your unicorn, life is still hard. I know someone who was raised by total hippies who never told her off or made her do anything she didn't want to do. She worked with me at a homeless shelter and ran away crying at one point because one of the clients told her she was too soft and wasn't cut out for it. She dumped her keys and workmates in it and ran out the door. One of the clients went and calmed her down. Yes, the mentally ill, drug-addicted homeless man (who is a brilliant bloke but still) calmed down the middle class hippy who couldn't hack saying no because she had never been shown boundaries. So, YABU, wash her hair. Infrequently if you must but maybe then, when life is hard she will learn to suck it up.

I don't wash dd2's hair very often at all (it is a palaver, due to her sensory issues stemming from her autism), but it gets wet once or twice a week. It is absolutely beautiful, not in the least smelly, and frequently draws compliments.

If her hair doesn't look dirty and doesn't smell then don't worry about it. Lots of people have given up shampoo (for green reasons) and hair will be fine. I didn't shampoo my DC's hair for months sometimes and no one noticed!

I haven't washed ds's hair for years, it looks fine, people comment on what nice hair he has, and he has never had nits.
Sounds dreadful I know, but he has severe ASD, is 11 years old and there is nothing I can do about it. As soon as he got too strong for dh and I to hang on to him despite the risk that the neighbours would think we were murdering him persuade him between us that was it.

So I can hardly be a hypocrite and say you are being unreasonable, but I strongly suggest you nip it in the bud now. I have recently been trying some shampoo from Betterware that you don't have to rinse out and it doesn't get the hair as clean as normal shampoo but it helps. Perhaps you could get some to get her used to the idea of getting her hair washed and move on from there?

my god you have to be joking,

wash her hair, dont be so bloody soft!

I probably would treat it like teeth cleaning, something that has to be done. On a small fluffy five year old it may not be a big deal but the older kids get, the more other kids pick up on even vaguely minky manky hygiene issues, things like greasy or messy hair so the sooner its just part of the routine the better.

Its a moot point in this house as the boys hair is supershort and can be washed with a flannel and blob of shampoo in about 20 seconds without too much drama.

You're right that there's chlorine in the water from swimming pools but I'd want to soap off skin and hair later the same day if not after the swim as it is pretty harsh on skin, and even with the chlorine there are an awful lot of particles of other people's wee and poo floating through the filters for months between pool cleanings so they're far from mankiness free zones.

Hair is supposed to be self-cleansing so no need to wash, although I recall it goes through a greasy phase before it develops enough natural oils to self clean. Put another way, caveman didn't have shampoo.

Also, lice allegedly prefer clean hair.....

I make her brush her teeth, wipe her bum, do her homework, be polite and pleasant, go to school, eat her veggies etc. It s just really the hair washing thing. And the strange clothing issues.

It's different if the DC had autism, but presuming the OPs DD hasn't (and she hasn't mentioned it so far) it's not just about the hair washing, it's about letting the 5 YO set herself up as the boss.

I sat behind a guy the other day who believed hair is self-cleaning. His hair smelled.

But how do you make her do those things OP?

What happens if she goes out in the rain?

Also, lice allegedly prefer clean hair

Lice actually don't have a preference

We never washed our dcs' hair regularly until it actually needed washing. Ie smelly, difficult to brush, or visible dirt.

Always washed after swimming, though.

She doesn't have autism, but she does have a sensory disorder. And I make her do all the other things in the usual ways.

I have to say once I stopped the weekly trauma I was stunned to find it didn't make any difference. And social services have not arrived at the door yet.

And you thought you'd wait 43 posts to mention her sensory disorder?

Try the goggles!

If she goes swimming I do think you need to rinse it afterwards as the chlorine could irritate the skin.

"I didn't shampoo my DC's hair for months sometimes and no one noticed!"

No one told you "Jesus Christ woman, haven't you heard about soap and water?!" does not mean no one noticed.

Didn't you think a sensory disorder would make a difference to how people responded to your OP?

DD is 6, has bum length hair and has never had her hair washed with shampoo or soap. It gets a rinse in water or a wash with a little bit of conditioner if it gets too tangled. Her hair is gorgeous, shiny, doesn't smell and she's never had nits.

yabu.

Are you by any chance the same person who never washes towels and sheets, a few days ago ?

my DC HATE having their hair washed, but I make them do it once a week. I think opting out would be lazy parenting TBH, so I grit my teeth and get on with it...

The hair may be clean, but the scalp probably isnt.

at the scumminess on MN these days.