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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

.. to NEVER wash DD's hair...

432 replies

GoTheFkToSleep · 29/11/2011 18:47

She's 5. She hates it, I hate it and two days later its looks the same as before. I think I last washed it about 6 months ago. I do bath the child once a month whether she needs it or not every few days, and she goes swimming every now and then but I am not sure that counts as she won't get in the pool showers. There must be a mild disinfectant effect of the chlorine tho??

OP posts:
4madboys · 01/12/2011 21:37

yes trailers now, only cos i remembered aitch and remembered to ask her about them.

naked is fine, i am cool with naked infact i cant wait to strip off at the end of the day! but if you want privacy thats fine too, i just dont appreciate people telling me its odd/perverse/not normal for my children to see my naked! as was insinuated on this thread.

CheerfulYank · 01/12/2011 21:39

Horses for courses, I say! :)

CheerfulYank · 01/12/2011 21:41

It is funny how cultural stuff influences nudity. In the movie Totoro (which takes place in Japan) it shows the father bathing with his two little daughters, and for a minute I thought "huh..." and then thought "oh ffs, there's nothing wrong with that!" :)

wearytraveller · 02/12/2011 09:12

after having a shower in the morning i will come downstairs and sort bfast and the baby, generally with a towel round me but it inevitably drops off.

What's the odds that 4mads eldest boy is going to need counseling later in life?

"I never used to mind my mum just walking around in a towel, but to be honest most days the towel would slide off her, and there she'd be, standing in the kitchen, buttering my toast. Naked. I did use to wonder why she couldnt wear a towelling robe.... :( "

JugglingWithGoldandMyrhh · 02/12/2011 09:23

If she lies down in a soapy bath from time to time and gets her hair wet swimming I'm sure she'll be just fine. My DCs only wash their hair occasionally too - young kids hair doesn't need washing often. I'm making sure dd washes hers whenever she has a bath now as it needs it a bit more now she's 12. If it doesn't look like it needs a wash OP then I think you're right and it's probably not worth the hassle and upset all round Smile

AitchTwoOh · 02/12/2011 11:39

is that a joke, wearytraveller?

Tortington · 02/12/2011 11:54

ooh shave we gone onto nekkid mums?

im a nekkid mum. so much so that yesterday dh shouted up - "ds has his gf here dont walk about nekkid" so i covered my minge with a rubber plant. not really the last bit - i put a robe on

ElaineReese · 02/12/2011 11:58

I don't think it's perverse and that's not what I said - only that the majority of 12 year old boys I've ever met wouldn't have relished their mother walking along the landing while the body lotion dried! And I thought wearytravellers post was funny.

I don't want to see my mother naked and I'd be quite embarrassed if I did. Ditto she if she saw me, and my children if they did.

valiumredhead · 02/12/2011 12:02

How sad.

ElaineReese · 02/12/2011 12:04

That I don't want to see my mother's naked body?

valiumredhead · 02/12/2011 12:06

The fact embarrassment features quite so heavily in your life - or so it seem from your post.

ElaineReese · 02/12/2011 12:12

Good lord, of course it doesn't - but two embarrassing situations I can imaginatively conceive of would be
a) my mother's towel falling off her in the kitchen
and
b) (and this is probably only in recent years) my older child seeing me starkers. And that would probably be more for her than me.

I was very much at ease with nakedness all round when the children were younger, and my youngest is perfectly happy for me to come in for a wee while she's in the shower - but the older one would not be, now, and I don't think that's especially buttoned-up or odd.

4madboys · 02/12/2011 12:12

i shall assume that wearytravellers post is a joke.

i dont use a dressing gown/robe as the mosituriser just rubs off onto it making the moisturising pointelss, if only it was just body lotion, its actually a heavy duty prescription moisturiser as i have sevre eczema and nothing else even helps, because of this it is thick and quite greasy and its bad enough getting it on the towels without getting it all over a dressing gown etc.

i really dont see the issue about nakedness, if you dont like it for yourself thats fine, but to insinuate that its somehow 'odd' for my son to see me naked is akin to saying its wrong, which it isnt. different families have diff ways of doing things, i used to see my mum naked, again i would chat to her when she was in the bath (now i know how irritating that is when my own kids do it, Lol) but i really dont think the naked body is anything to be ashamed about at all and would rather my children have a healthy attitude towards their own body and those of others.

and actually i saw my mum naked fairly recently at a family wedding we were all staying in the same hotel room, she came to my room to help me get myself and the litte ones ready and whilst there she got changed into her wedding outfit etc. it didnt occur to me that i shouldnt want to see her naked! i have done in the past and am pretty sure i will do again. ditto she seems me naked if she happens to be around when i get changed, or when the babies were little and she visited and i was in bed bfeeding etc. actually she is a nurse and i think after i had ds1 she checked my stitches for me! she gave birth to me and changed my nappies, nursed me throuhg ill health etc, why on earth would i be bothered by her seeing me naked? or vice versa?!

MegBusset · 02/12/2011 13:58

The changing room at my gym is heaving with naked old ladies, every which way you look there's a grey muff going past. Perhaps I should take a selection of towelling robes to hand out next time, lest I end up in counselling later in life.

gordyslovesheep · 02/12/2011 14:33

I sleep naked in my bed - all three of my kids join me at some point - call the Nekkid Police NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wearytraveller · 02/12/2011 15:30

My last post was slightly tongue in cheek :)

Meg, if you're a 12 year old boy, then yes, you def should!

And Gordy, if your kids are also 12 year old boys, then HELL YES!! Call them now.

Nakedness and small children is hunky dory, fine, lovely etc.

Nakedness in front of a 12 year old boy is, not fine and lovely.

But each to their own, of course. :)

valiumredhead · 02/12/2011 15:36

But why is it not fine and lovely? Confused

Traceymac2 · 02/12/2011 15:45

Have you tried using one of those head screen thingys that you put on the childs head that keeps the suds out of eyes when rinsing hair. I think some things you can let go but washing isn't one of them.

4madboys · 02/12/2011 16:40

well we co-sleep with ours when little, currently have almost 1yr old dd with us, and the boys have been in with us until 2 or 3 or even now at 6 and 9 if poorly, not ds1 tho, he is happy on his own tho if he was really poorly and wanted someone with him then i or dp would sleep on a mattress in his room, he is in a bunk bed so no co-sleeping there!

really dont see the issue, if he isnt bothered i am not bothered but then we are relaxed about nudity in our house and as i said he saw me give birth to his baby sister, so nakedness is neither here nor there.

i appreciate some familes do it differently but i dont judge them, they do what works for them [shrug] i have no idea why its not fine or lovely for us to do what suits us and what we are comfortable with?

cantspel · 02/12/2011 16:45

Your oldest is only 9, wait until he is 12 or 13 and watch him cringe everytime your towel slips.

It is very easy to know when it is time to start covering you. The day they close the bathroom door is the day you know that you need to put some clothes on.

4madboys · 02/12/2011 16:51

no cantspell my eldest is 12!! and like i say he saw me give birth, and is NOT bothered by my nakedness, he has just started wanting a bit of privacy himself sometimes but others is happy to be naked.

i have a 12yrld, 9yr old, 6 yrold , 3 yr old boys and almost 1 yr old dd.

cantspel · 02/12/2011 16:53

Well you have just confrimed what i said. Your 12 year old is starting to want privacy and part of privacy is not to have to see your mums bits over your morning toast..

4madboys · 02/12/2011 16:57

er no he is concerned with his privacy tho not enough to shut the bathroom door Grin and he still CHOOSES to come and talk to me when i am in the bath or shower adn will stand chatting whilst i moisturise and is not bothered by my nakedness, the two dont always go hand in hand. and like i say its not all the time infact it was one occasion when i walked into the bathroom and he said about wanting to be on his own, i said fine but shut the door and then we will know that.

cantspel · 02/12/2011 17:04

It is the very fact that he has started to be concerned about his privacy. They dont go from walking about naked to hiding behind the bathroom door in one step.
It is a gradual change as they go into puberty. Nakedness has never been an issue in our home but as my boys have got older what was once the norm has changed. My oldest is 15 and would not be happy if i walked into the bathroom when he was showering. My younger is 13 and would walking in on me changing but backout pretty quickly.

4madboys · 02/12/2011 17:07

well i am sure he may well stop coming in to talk to me when i am in the bath/shower and if he does fine, but i will still walk around with a towel as i have to get stuff done whilst my cream soaks in, if he is bothered by it slipping i may hold it with a peg or something but he isnt bothered and i know other older teens who also are not bothered by seeing their parents naked.

if he can cope with seeing me give birth at age 11, then he can cope wiht seeing me naked and until anything happens that makes me think otherwise then we will continue on as we are.