to tell my size 18 friend i dont see often shes getting fatter infront of the group at dinner?

[PregolaLola]

thats sounds horrid, so why does she think its fair to do it to me because im a size 8 ?

'you must not eat that much'
'wow YOUR going to eat dessert'
'maybe you'll put on weight when you stop feeding'

just made me feel dreadful.

would any of you find that an ok thing to say to a 'pal'?

The media don't just want women to be skinny - they want them to have perfectly proportioned hips, waist and thighs and to have large breasts. They want them to be skinny but with no bones showing, otherwise they are anorexic and 'troubled'. Therefore, hardly any of us can live up to this and we can all feel shit about our bodies occasionally. Being skinny doesn't equal feeling like the ideal.

EXACTLY scarydragon. True skinniness with flat boobs and jutting ribs is ridiculed and derided.

The thing is, you can't win. One of my sisters has what many would consider to be a perfect figure...

• she is around 5'4", so not massively short but short enough to wear big heels and still be shorter than her DP - apparently this is important

• she is a size 8, with toned arms and legs and 32DD breasts
• she is generally sporty and looks fit and athletic

Her last bf before her current DP said, 'Yes but you still have a plain face, don't you' because she has some facial moles

No matter what you do, someone will comment.

The other thing I hate is people commenting on weight change, which they obv think is compliment. I go from a big size 10 to a big size 12 depending on how stressed I am/ too busy to go to the gym/ etc and when I 'skinny down' people always comment. I hate it, it makes me feel like people are watching my waistline - and the change is never even that much as I mostly fit into the same clothes.

Why do people think it's okay to comment on weight change or status quo??

i dont think it should be a taboo subject, but i really feel that it should be something that is considered before blurted out, and for goodness sake people need to watch who they say things to and stop thinking its there duty to inform us all that we are fat, skinny, big breasted or large bottomed what is wrong with people?
if you think its ok to point out to a stranger anything about appearance (other than a true compliment) you are a flawed human.

It's so rude when people assume that if you're slim it must be because you don't eat.

My friend is 5'4" and currently weighs 7st 7lb. It's not her fault, she suffers terribly with IBS in which everything that goes in, comes straight back out again. She is a size 6/8 and absolutely hates her size, the fact that she has no breasts, her bones stick out in places they shouldn't and she struggles finding clothes that fit her.

She always get sly remarks made to her and it very much upsets her. I really feel for her.

I used to get a lot of comments pre-baby. I'm 5'10" and used to be a size 8, at one point I weighed 8st 8lb. I hated being called skinny and even my mother thought I had an eating disorder. I had to convince her otherwise, I didn't live with her so she used to keep an eye on me through my housemate. People used to tell me to go doctors in case I had an overactive thyroid gland. No one seems to be able to accept people can be skinny without any eating disorder.

So rude.

That is frustrating for you, Leonie!