To ask what you think about young Christian marriages?

[Ihavewelliesbutitssunny]

So over the last few years I've known a lot of young Christian couples who've got married at about 21-23 years old. The classic situation is Christian boy and girl meet at the CU at uni and then get married when they graduate. Obviously part of this is the belief that couples shouldn't have sex before they are married but I think another factor is that they have prayed through and considered their decision to get married and trust that if it is the right decision they should just go ahead and get married. There seems often to be a critical and confused response to this idea of getting married from non-Christians so I was interested to see the mumsnet response. I suspose the idea of waiting for sex and getting married young is something that a lot of couples did in the past and many of us have grandparents or perhaps parents who married young and have had very long (and in most cases) marriages.

CheerfulYank

Hey, another one of my fluffy friends!! Yay!

pinkpanettone

That's so sad. The poor woman.

MissMarjoribanks

Hello to a fellow raging atheist

I'm not sure how you can stand to be surrounded by so much fuckwittery though, it'd drive me mad!

Not sure if this has been said already

I hold my body (especially my ability to share love through sex) as a much more important thing than money

Therefore until I'm prepared to trust a man with my money by having a shared bank account I'm not going to share my body

Hello to Rational and CY, recognise the name change?

eaglewings? :)

Is it Christmas name change time already?

Hey Angel, like the name change! :) I can't come up with one, last year I was CupOChristmasCheerfulYank. This year CheerfullyYankingChristmasCrackers has been suggested, which I like. But we don't have Christmas crackers, would I be hypocritical? :o

It's Advent, had the special Advent Sunday service with the church full of candles and the Christmas tree us ready for Christingle this coming weekend

Hello madhairday, all we need now is Maryz and I'll feel right at home :)

I like cheerfullyyankingchristmascrackers.

The fuckwittery barely registers now, Rational. I grit my teeth through Mass a couple of times a year on special occasions when DH asks me to go, usually when we are staying at his parents for a birthday or anniversary. DS' baptism was an astonishingly short and jolly affair. Since I told BIL I thought abortion reform was a fundamental attack on women's rights he's avoided any discussion on matters theological with me. Since I told MIL and FIL that telling a gay Catholic to leave the Church if they didn't like its teachings seemed totally at odds with the Christian message, they don't discuss anything that might cause a debate either. (Can you see a pattern emerging? )

DH is also totally happy with me putting my point of view across to DS when he's old enough to understand. He'll also likely go to a non-RC secondary school, at least. Given DH's lack of interest and my atheism, I suspect my DS will be much like Cheerful Yank's and won't bother with the confirmation, with the fallout with the ILs being heard in Rome...

And anyway, DH taking DS to mass on Sunday means I get to lie in until 10am if I want to... bliss.

Thanks! Psammead thought of it. :)

DH and I are atheists. We've been together since being 18, married this year (age 26), have lived together for 6 years.

We are just 'right' for each other. So we married 'young'.

Little donkey, love it. Cheerful Yank, go for it

Sorry Ihavewelliesbutitssunny for taking the thread down a side track. Will you change to Ihavewelliesbutwhereisthesnow?

Congratulations, Candle. :)

I reckon marriage or commitment at a young age can sometimes work, there are examples always given to prove this is the case, but when you then attach conditions due to faith I think it adds a terrible pressure on people who are often too young to really appreciate what they may be letting themselves in for.

Having not experimented with sex and having no foreseeable 'way out' of a commitment that may be unsuitable for one or both is way too much pressure. If my marriage goes to the dogs (no indication of that at the mo), I will divorce, there will be sadness and grief at the loss of what was once a joy, but there would be no added guilt that I have failed any god or disgraced myself in anyone's eyes.

Angelswings

Hey Eaglewings! I love your new name too. You do realise, however, that Angels don't exist? .....Just checking

(Well, some might have been disappointed if I'd ignored it, lol)

MissMarjoribanks

I admire your indefatigability!

"And what's the big problem with porn? If you don't like it don't watch it. Don't judge those who do though.

There's worse things going on than people watching a bit of porn."

True. Like exploiting people to make porn, perhaps?

My guardian angel will have fecked off in disgust years ago Cheerful!

First prize to the one who can come up with a rational Xmas name for me

I feel the same, Seeker. My objections to porn are feminist, not religious.

Or just...personist, I guess. :) I think porn is harmful to people besides women.

seeker

Not all people in the porn industry is being exploited. That's a whole other thread though. Fact is it's here to stay, it needs regulating, not banning.

That should read 'are being exploited' not 'is'. D'uh!

My friend is in the process of converting to be an Episcopalian as she grew up a Catholic but doesn't believe in the infallibility of the Pope. She explored a few options but has decided this will provide the aspects she found positive from Catholicism without the parts she feels she can't accept.

I have a new colleague who is an evangelical Christian and we're had a few chats about this very topic. All his friends seem to be marrying young and many are very disapproving of sex before marriage, including him. He has told me part of the young marriage motivation is the sex aspect but it doesn't seem to be a central strand.

I think that even if the people in porn are not being exploited in any way (which is rare from what I've read/heard), it's harmful in that is shows a view of sexuality which is not necessarily typical: that women enjoy some things that they may not, or that they are always up for sex, etc, etc. I know that, as you said, Rational, it's not our job to make sure children are not watching porn. However, I am uncomfortable with the fact that young people who haven't had sexual experiences of their own are having anal and bukkake normalized for them. (Not that anal isn't "normal" as such, just that if you've never had any type of sex before...I'll just stop now. :) )

it shows. Oops. :)

I grew up in a very fundamnetalist religious household and almost made a huge mistake by marrying a complete twat. We were barely supposed to be alone unchaperoned never mind anything else. Anyone who has rread me on here will know I am pig headed and opionionated and realised what I dick he was, I gave him the heave ho. I had been told this would be wrong doing because we had spent so much time together . It took me a few months to sort my head out and that point I moved out my parents and refused to have anything to do with the religion.

I actually went a bit overly wild for a whiile, but I ended up meeting DH quite quickly . He helped me get my head sorted out, we married after a year, I was 22 he was 21, we are not religions in the least. but we are committed to each other antd thats what makes it work.

Most of the couples I know who got married young in the religion have had problems of some kind, lots are divorced.

Sorry about typing, its displaying on screen about 10 seconds after I type, so very hard to go back and sort typos.

I'm glad you're happy now Rhonda, that sounds like a nightmare!