To not go for a poo when DH is in the house?

[BupcakesandCunting]

We've been together for ten years and I've only ever done a cack when he has been present once and that was only because I had norovirus and explosive shits.

My friends think I'm insane. I think that I am keeping some mystique alive in our relationship. My poo is pretty potent. He'd never want sex with me again if he smelt it.

I really need to go now. He is poncing about. I wish he'd hurry up and go out so that I can make a deposit. :(

God I have crohns disease and thus can poo thirty times a day and have vile wind.......... very quickly got over any shame

Bupcakes, I think you're insane too! Takes all sorts to make a world however. Like the poster below me, I have certain issues that mean up to 15 trips to the loo a day sometimes. I would cack myself if I had to wait for DH to go out! That would not be better.

What do you do if your DH goes out, you settle on the loo, then just as you start pooing, your DH nips back because he's forgotten something?

If this hasn't happened, it must have crossed your mind what you'll do if it does??

Someone so backed up that the stink is seeping out of their arse is someone far less sexy than someone who has, shock horror, had a poo in the same house as you. I can't imagine feeling very sexy when I've been holding it back, either. Plus, it's not at all good for you.

Shit stinks. Fact.

My dream is a bathroom with two toilets so myself and hubby can poo side by side.

I'm another one who can't poo in public. And I also don't like pooing if Dh is in the house, although I can if he is upstairs asleep. I stay up later than him deliberately. Have used bath/ shower excuse, but don't feel comfortable.

DH knows I have these issues, and teases me mercilessly. He thinks it is funny to try to "catch" me He is very open about his own bowel habits, and my parents certainly weren't shy, so I don't know why I have ishoos. There's certainly nothing "Victorian" about it in my case- I very rarely wear make-up, dress like a bag lady, and enjoy sex as much as the next person, thank you very much! It's just my personal little hang-up.

You could save yourself money and pointless travelling if you took a dump when he is asleep

that or stop being weird

LOL @ twotoilets Queen of Wands!

Is this a serious thread? Really?

Jesus Christ, I have never considered not having a shit (in a toilet) because people might 'know'.

'Pooing in public' - to me that would imply squatting in the middle of the village green or summat - just for the record, I don't do that, and I hope nobody on this thread would comtemplate anything like it.

Pooing in a lockable stall in a shopping centre for instance, that is NOT pooing in public IMO.
I have made use of a bush outdoor facilities when the official 'rest room' along the Autoput in Yugoslavia was a far greater assault on any sensibilities I might have, than the local wildlife...

On a more serious note, I agree that all of you with ishoos should really be conscious of not passing this on to children. Chronic constipation/withholding/encopresis is not pretty and miserable for the child.

What goes in, must come out; you might as well at least not mind, if not enjoy the process.

I think not pooing is totally different from mot farting in front of somebody - with the latter you can squeeze it out quietly and the world need never hear it :o but with poo you can only hold it so long surely?

Given how many threads I've seen about poo-withholding in DCs, and how much trauma it causes, it can't be healthy?

I would never, ever fart in front of a partner as I am a naice gel.
If a partner deliberately farted in front of me I would issue a yellow card.

A poo behind closed doors is fine except at work when its noisy and your boss is in the next cubicle. Bupcakes set yourself free and go for it.

To answer queries about SIL, she knew because he took his usual 20 minutes in the loo and then she asked. Us. Both. To. Leave.

(She is one of DH's oldest friends but they don't see each other so much these days, I think because of this and other batshit incidents, such as requesting that we put newborn DS on the floor for her 3 large wolves dogs to lick so they could "get to know him".)

As REM once nearly sang, "Everybody poos...sometimes".

Oh dear.

I see that the frothing berserkers have made it onto what is possibly one of the most trivial threads I have EVER started.

My relationship is just fine, thanks. I have arse muscles of steel. Of course DH knows I poo. He just doesn't know what it smells like. I am happy with that.

I don't appreciate the state of my marriage being speculated upon all because I'd prefer that DH isn't familiar with the smells that are expelled from my arse. So you can all eat shit and fuck off with your "Oh how sad" concerned faces. Twats.

Then why on earth did you put it out there for public consumption?

And if you can't see that opening a window/running a bath /lighting a match/spraying air freshener around afterwards will solve the problem of smells without your DH having to be packed off to the shop like a naughty little boy, then it is sad.

I'll also add, if it was a bloke on here telling us he booted his wife out of the house every day so he could have a shit, what would we all be saying, hmm?

So what did you expect people to say "yes, it's perfectly normal not to poo when your dp is in the house" Not in the bathroom, note, in the house!!!!!

Wanting to be on your own in a locked bathroom is fine. Wanting to be alone in a locked bathroom in an empty house is not.

I didn't say I booted him out of the house EVERY DAY. I just go when he's left for work (I'm an 8am sharp person )

It's only at weekends/holidays that it's an issue.

As for passing my issues on to DS: ha ha ha. He craps with the door wide open, giving a running commentary. No issues there.

It's only at weekends/holidays that it's an issue.

It is an issue and I would deal with it sharpish if I were you. Right now you are young and healthy. One day you might not be. If you can't even poo in the same house as him, you are going to have some real problems later in life.

Hang on. So he has to be out of the house at 8.00 every Saturday and Sunday?

Oh Ffs. I realise now that we've all been taken for a ride on the hoax thread train.

My house is a tiny terraced house. He may as well be in the room if he is in the house.

No I don't expect people to say it's normal. Just wasn't expecting the cat's bum mouth crew to rock up and speculate on the state of my relationship.

ps I don't lock the door in an empty house...

Oh piss off seeker. I was addressing the poster above who asked why I kicked him out EVERY DAY. Or do you need help reading?

I really hate it when I see you on a thread. Now I remember why...

Presumably even in a tiny terrace house there are doors, locks and windows?

PMSL

"Arse muscles of steel"

Ok. My last word. You are either doing this because you have issues which need sorting out because this sort of thing gets worse not better.

Or you are doing it because you have some vision of 50s type feminine mystique which must be preserved at all costs- which also needs addressing because it's not fair on your dp. Or on you.