AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

[theprodigaldaughter]

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

really tilly you do know it doesn't work like that.

It's the ... (clears throat) sense of entitlement that gets people riled.

Up, or down, or in the middle of the social scale.

maybe people don't like you coz you sound like your stuck up and snotty or that you sound like you think your better than most... if you were a bit nicer n pulled ur head out ur arse people might like you.

I don't feel people 'despise' you for what you have...but the attitude that comes with it. I do not 'brag' about what I have... as I feel it's not necessary or relevant. It's about the person...not the status or possessions they have.

Tried reading all post but it's doing my head in! Can't remember who has what or where they come from and in the end it doesn't matter. Point being that everyone seems agreed regardless of wealth or personal politics that if you winge that people don't like you because you are now privileged, you deserve it.

The reason you feel despised is because of the great, big, defensive chip on your shoulder!!

SinicalSal i am trying to pursuade DP our new house must have another house...in the garden.... for nanny/guests etc. Just a tiny one you know... entitlement anyone?

Deserve to be despised

I dont despise the OP , good on her.

I do get the sneaky feeling that SHE despises people from rough Norven towns who have done even better. like millionaires or sommat

tilly And then your other house can have another smaller one attached - it will be like the House version of Russian Dolls. Could you get it on Grand Designs?

I am not sure what you mean about donating spare cash to the school.

You pay private so I assume school is not short of funds and the school is not under-equipped

Seems to me that anybody at either end of the spectrum of normality finds themselves up for scrutiny more than your average MNer in the middle, whether they are rich or poor. Loads of people on benefits find themselves slagged off as do those who dare to ask for help with a problem if they happen to have money, like money means you never have a problem. People are suspicious of others who are very different from them like it is some sort of judgement on them.

On the whole though I agree with whoever said earlier that everybody gets a slating for something SAHM, WOHM, Bf FF, atheist, religious, private and state school etc, etc.

I reckon you just have to get on with it and let it wash over you or go somewhere where they are fluffier.

Nobody needed to know any of OPs background, but the fact she feels the need to mention her financial status, independent schools blah blah makes me think she is very bored, particularly to start this thread - how very peculiar!

What does grate me a little, is that she assumes hard work equals financial superiority. There are an awful lot of amazing people out there who work hard doing jobs that do not pay enormously, but their contribution to society is great. Apologies if this has been said already, but I haven't read the whole thread.

Why are we not allowed a convertible if we are under 40y?
And why are the over 40s allowed one?

I am 38y. I have a convertible Fiat 500. I love it!

DH has a four wheel drive car, but not a big Land Rpver type think. It is a Golf. It's fab because it means at least one of our cars can get out and about when it shows. My car sat on the drive for more than a week.

Wibbly, the more people believe that luck any major part to play, the less reason reason there is to own their actions.

Jenski

I think attitudes to rich/poor are downright contradictory on mumsnet. Someone posts that they can't choose between posh private school 'a' and top of the league state school 'b', then they are likely to get a drubbing.

Yet disabled single mum in tower block enquiring how she might get into less over crowded housing, is torn apart for being 'entitled'

Mumsnet is no friend to the poor

What about a pony. Do you have a pony?

I'm sorry but could someone explain to me why the OP apparently doesn't know what she is talking about by referring to paying tax 'a little bit at 50%' ?

I understand perfectly well what she means by that. She means he is over the threshold for 50% but not by masses. So they pay 40% up to the threshold, (of £150k or whatever it is) and 50% on the relatively small amount over that.

Why is that rubbish?

No pony.

hulababy6 is it pink? Oh DO say its pink! My dream is a pink fiat 500. I saw one the other day and nearly crashed my 20 year old clio for the love of it.

Sounds like the OP isn't really rich enough to be bragging in that case Fellatio!

I think you're being a bit dramatic.

Do you also become "furious and livid" at people using the last trolley, even though it's obvious that you need it more?

the question is poorly framed. basically it comes down to - why are the British wary and defensive about the success of others? Ambition and aspiration are often looked down upon - to me this is the fundamental problem.