AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

[theprodigaldaughter]

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

Does Paggy have a pool? Because that would really put everyone in a fix, now wouldn't it?

I blame the parents

Nothing beats a nasty post, one additional post and then no OP response.

yawn

I do despise you. You're right. Just because.

If you share a swimming pool ...it doesn't count.
If you could have one but don't...it doesn't count.
If you've got a paddling pool... it doesn't count.

I don't actually give a fuck how many cars/flat screen TVs/houses/genetically modified cats you own. You may be suprised at how little people care.

Would you like a pat on the back?

What the fucking fuck?

OP piss off. Piss right off. Not because you are clever and have money and have bettered yourself and all of that..

but just because when I read your dumbassed OP all I could think was 'is this really all she has in her life to get worked up about?'

Who gives a toss about you? How could we hate you when we didnt know anything about you until you chose to tell us your business?

Fuck off.

I don't hate you Fellatio. I too am a sahm to school age dc. And my mum babysits pretty much whenever I want. Even worse, I have a degree and don't use it

Seriously though, I do think the OP has a point in that there are certain MN views that I don't think entirely correspond with rl. For example, the idea that when you have dc, you have no 'right' to rely on help from your own parents or expect anything from them. That always strikes me as odd.

Also the idea that a sahm should return to a dead end job once the dc are in school, even if she doesn't need the money. God forbid she should be supported by her dh, even though she may have given up a good career and enabled him to have one. No, she should get herself to the nearest Spar, for minimum wage. Chilling at home is not good enough.

Apologies all. Bit of a tangent there. As you were...

It could be worse, you could be a teacher who is also a step parent who shops in boden. Tough times.

Oh, ok, I'll be the first person to actually hate you then. I hate you because you are a liar. Lots of us have had things fairly hard to start with (I'll raise you 'rough school' to 'violent divorce and abuse plus social services involvement, single mother on benefits, free school meals, crap school' and your 'going on to college' compared to 'getting into fucking Cambridge'- you're not exceptional at all in that sense), and have worked hard. The difference is that some of us have not been so fucking lucky as to have been given nice jobs in the city, nice relationships, etc. It is pure luck that you got those opportunities, nothing at all to do with hard work and certainly not through any moral virtue that you have. Go and google 'just world hypothesis'. You're the embodiment of it, and it's actually just a bit sickening and hateful. If you want not to be hated, try being modest and non-judgemental. It's your choice to be how you are in terms of personality, and yes you do deserve people to hate you for it as you've chosen to be hateful and smug. Course if you had worked so hard and got such a great life, you'd not even care really, would you- so again you're lying.

FN thank gawd for that. i nearly thought there really was a financial crisis going on!

FontSnob, you win top trumps. I had forgotten teacher/step parent double whammy

I had a pool. But it was when we lived in Spain, so I think that can be discounted seeing as just about the whole of Spain south of Madrid has a pool.

Yes Karma, exactly.

I have no interest in what assets a person has or how much they earn as I am sure no one does about me. I would be more interested in the person themselves, how they behave,their morals and whether they are a decent human being.

Okay, keeping tally.

Fellatio has a pool, a 4x4, tiffany stuff, twigs and pebbly shit.
She is the SAH wife of a banker, has no degree and is from Essex. Her DC are in private school...

Can anyone beat that on the MN MC unacceptable role of honour????

What threads have you been reading op?

I think most people don't care as long as you dont look down on those who don't own their house and earn considerably less than you

The good thing about the OP is she did get lots of my fave posters out and commenting funnily, even if she is a journo. The comment about the little bit of 50% tax makes it clear she doesnt know what she's talking about.

And FWIW I disagree totally with your hypothesis OP: am in a similar fortuntate position to the one you claim but have never felt despised here though I did have one thread about my cleaner that went a bit tits-up in the middle and being here has oh so helped me realise for real just how lucky and privileged my life has been. I share that with my family on a daily basis - insights gleaned from posters here about the reality of life with a child with special needs, or on disability benefits, for example, have changed us all for the better.

The first ever thread I read on MN was one where all the posters were slating instant coffee and ready meals.

I thought MN was vair posh!

Then I found the Drunk Thread and felt right at home

FontSnob DP is a Head teacher, i run a company, we are rich. he is really nice & supportive. how many minus MN points do you think that is?

Oh yes, it was enormous .