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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder why you guys despise people like me?

511 replies

theprodigaldaughter · 24/11/2011 11:47

I guess this is not so much an AIBU thread but more of a question why? I wasn't sure where to post it.

After observing this website for a few months I would like to ask you ladies a question.

Why do you despise people like me?

I suppose for starters I had better explain myself. My cards are on the table. I am in my 40's. I have a couple of kids. My husband has a very good job as did I until I gave it up a couple of years ago to raise my kids. We have financial security, we own a nice house and car and have a nice holiday every year. My kids go to private school. Without going into too much detail, he pays 40% tax, and a little bit at 50%. He is not a banker.

Prior to the flames that I envisage following the above, I'd also like to explain our backgrounds. Both myself and my husband come from a rough northern town. We went to poorly funded state schools which were really rough. We both left with very little. We then went to college and did a lot better and both then went to Uni. We left heavily in debt and got jobs at the time earning under 10K a year each. We both carried on studying and gaining post grad qualifications. We got married, moved and worked in the city of london, then moved abroad where we both worked 70 hours/ 6 days a week until I was 36, when we had our kids. We saved everything we could for our future.

Now I am back in the UK I find that we are despised for having a bit of money, our own house, a nice car and sending our kids to an independent school. According to the threads on this website we should pay more tax, donate any spare cash we have to schools for other peoples kids and basically give up the air we breathe for others benefit. Apparently we are a parasite on society and ungodly because someone else has less than us.

I am genuinely interested to know WHY someone who has dragged themselves out of the mud to better themselves is hated by our society. It seems that no one wants anyone to have anything, but is not prepared to work for it themselves. After reading the above, I ask a lot of you -what have you done to better yourselves? Have you moved away and made sacrifices? Have you constantly strived to improve your life? If the answer is no, then you cannot begrudge what we have.

I am all for helping those in need who are incapable of helping themselves. They should be our priority. But I begrudge a penny of my taxes going to anyone who had the same start in life as I did, but has done nothing to better themselves.

Rant over...sorry it is so long. It's just that the people on this site are making my blood boil.

OP posts:
pictish · 24/11/2011 13:57

Well, I personally dislike you straight off because you come across as having your head embedded firmly in your own rectum.
I haven't read the thread - I'm simply reacting to your OP.

You don't sound like a very nice person, that's why.

TheRealTillyMinto · 24/11/2011 13:57

twigs and pebbly shit i told DP recently we needed some 'objets d'art'..... to be fair we had just got rid of the 10 yr old IKEA sofa so i am not a total twat!

nicknamenotinuse · 24/11/2011 13:57

brag brag brag brag brag brag, oh and brag some more. Yawn.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 24/11/2011 14:01

I get free child care from my parents (and my aunt and MIL and FIL).

Had no idea people hate me.

Smile
shouldnotbehere · 24/11/2011 14:02

I like you, but I think you are a a bit oversensitive. Have a Brew.

I always admire people who have got where they are by graft, rather than family connections or inherited wealth. In fact, have a glass of Wine.

By the way, me and DH are very comfortable, due to there being a successful family business for him to join, which was established by his grandfather. He works long hours for family business, but we never made it on our own, so good on you.

forehead · 24/11/2011 14:07

I totally agree ith OP. I think people envy those who appear to be successful. I find that if someone is seen as'having it all', many posters will come out with such cliches as 'you don't know what goes on behind close doors' and then we often hear the anecdotes, whereby the posters will tell stories of people who on the surface appear to be doing well, (fantastic home, great dh,gorgeous children)but are secretly in turmoil.
Some posters just find it difficult to accept that some people are successful. It's what is known as jealousy

FellatioNelson · 24/11/2011 14:07

My DH is a banker. And we are from Essex. SadBlushSad
And I don't work for a living - I am a parasitic SAHM after NINETEEN YEARS.
And my kids are in private school.
I don't even have a degree so I don't even deserve any of it.

Pile all your hate on me. I'll suck it up.

PostBellumBugsy · 24/11/2011 14:11

but are you fake bake Essex orange Fellatio - that's what we really want to know?

FellatioNelson · 24/11/2011 14:11

Oops, forgot to add the buy to let house.

Get your rotten tomatoes from the basket on the left.

FellatioNelson · 24/11/2011 14:12

No. certainly not. I am lily-white and proud.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 24/11/2011 14:12

Although tbh, Fell, you just ought to do it yourself, what a rotten specimen you are, I trust you are truly ashamed Grin

TheRealTillyMinto · 24/11/2011 14:12

FellatioNelson NOT A BANKERS SAH WIFE?!? Release the hounds!

LeQueen · 24/11/2011 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 24/11/2011 14:13

I bet she's a lady wot lunches too. The shame.

OrmIrian · 24/11/2011 14:13
Shock

Feel the hate fellatio! Feel it!

Whatmeworry · 24/11/2011 14:14

Is that a Stealth Boast I see before me?

TuftyFinch · 24/11/2011 14:15

Do you have a swimming pool though? That would be the clincher for me. I don't like people with swimming pools. I am trying to deal with this issue. It is difficult.

ThisOrThat · 24/11/2011 14:15

OP You are boring.

TheRealTillyMinto · 24/11/2011 14:16

FellatioNelson go on have a swimming pool.....pehleeeese

bigmouthstrikesagain · 24/11/2011 14:17

OP - I am in the 'priviliged' position of being a sahm of a HR tax payer - I was brought up in a northen city and went to a standard state school and 'new' university Poly I didn't work particularly hard, went out and enjoyed myself, got a goodish degree, worked in local Gov, earnt a modest wage, went out alot, had babies got married etc. So if I did not work my way out of the 'mud' - or do you just mean honest working class stock lived in a council house etc. - which was my situation? Cause if you do that is not really that bad more poverty of expectation than real deprivation.

You should feel proud of your acheivements but if you feel so insecure in your position to imagine every other person begrudges you of it then you must be very unhappy, I am sorry that you feel that way - but you can choose not to be offended by comments that probably do not apply to you anyway - shrug and move on.

I don't feel insecure - I don't feel despised, I certainly do not lose sleep over the opinions of strangers on the internet. I do not begrudge the taxes paid by higher earners (though we will miss the CB when it goes). I do begrudge the massive bonuses still being earned by city wbankers and the thrall the City holds our old Eatonian Prime Minister and his cronies in, while they plunder the pensions of the public sector. Now that is despicable - but I am one of those bleeding heart lefties that you probably despise Grin Which bothers me not a jot.

FellatioNelson · 24/11/2011 14:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FellatioNelson · 24/11/2011 14:18

But it's important that you all know that I could have had one in the UK, had I wanted one. OK?

frumpet · 24/11/2011 14:19

Despise ? nope , covet your vastly superior lifestyle ? yup

bigmouthstrikesagain · 24/11/2011 14:19

I have to admit that I do despise the phrase 'you guys'

GypsyMoth · 24/11/2011 14:19

Where is the op?

Has she gone to do something superior to us 'guys' I wonder?

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