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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are children's centres generally "rough"??

152 replies

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:21

I've taken my ds (14mths) a few times to a children's centre (general 0-5 play session). Some of the parents are quite nice but others are just on the sofas ignoring their kids and then nipping out for fags every 10 minutes.

Likewise some of the other children are nice but others are really rough. My son has been randomly hit by others (on purpose) a few times and there is lots of snatching and a bit of fighting.

But the facilities are really great - outside play, water play, messy play, sensory area, free snack for the kids etc.

None of my NCT friends go to the children's centres (except) bumps and babies, and I was wondering if it's because everyone knows they are a bit rough and so those that can afford it stay away?? Otherwise it seems really odd as not many go to the play session but baby sensory at £7 for less than a hour has a waiting list! I guess it depends in part on the area - mine is a bit of a mix but definitely does has some rougher bits.

So my question is - if you stay away from the children's centres is it because you think they are a bit rough - or something else??

OP posts:

TroublesomeEx · 23/11/2011 12:24

Some of the people are nice. Some are not.

Isn't that just a microcosm of the real world though?

It does depend on the area. We've got a Children's Centre near us that's very naice both in terms of the parents/children and the location/building. There's another one a few miles away that isn't.

Grumpla · 23/11/2011 12:25

I used to live quite close to a Surestart children's centre in a big council estate, it was ace.

Didn't bother me if the other mummies weren't wearing Boden

I'm miles from my nearest centre now. Not sure what I'm going to do when No.2 arrives... Not fucking baby ballet that's for sure

TroublesomeEx · 23/11/2011 12:25

I think a lot of in deprived areas as their original purpose was to 'wraparound' education and to offer parenting classes and the like. But I think that is less of the case now.

Iggly · 23/11/2011 12:26

You get hitting and snatching at "nice" NCT groups!!

TroublesomeEx · 23/11/2011 12:26

a lot of them are in.

can't speak, spell or write today.

Original poster

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:26

It's just at other groups I've been to locally - admittedly ones where you have to pay- the kids aren't anything like as rough. I just wondered why the same people don't also go to the children's centre when it's free.

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 23/11/2011 12:27

MogandMe · 23/11/2011 12:28

Depends on the area - In my last town it was a mix like you describe but here in our new town it's usually middle class SAHM's and nannies not really who they wanted to attract

Fleurdebleurgh · 23/11/2011 12:29

The one here is rough. Its only the scummers who get Homestart help who go there.

Original poster

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:29

Kids bashing babies and mothers standing nearby doing nothing - haven't seen that anywhere else except the children's centre.

OP posts:

Firawla · 23/11/2011 12:29

i've never seen people nipping out for a fag all the time, and i have been to loads! so maybe it depends. i do think they are less 'stuck up' than a lot of private groups though so if thats your definition of rough then maybe?? but i would not consider them 'rough'
grumpla im same as you, used to live very close to loads of surestarts and they were so good, i'm not very near any now. really miss them.
i do think you get more in less well off areas, but that seems to be right i think. although now where i am there are none near, but to go to some of them you have to go on the bus to some posher areas, which seems a bit odd

ZeldaUpNorth · 23/11/2011 12:29

I live in quite a deprived part of a north east city. There is a sure start centre attached to my daughters' school. I find that the people who go there are generally the nice mams who want to help their kids by social interaction etc. The rougher mams (and dads) are the kind who aren't bothered about their kids so just leave them to roam the streets.

Dirtydishesmakemesad · 23/11/2011 12:30

I have been to three in different areas (we moved around!) and they were all fine I havent really had any problems at all with them.

Firawla · 23/11/2011 12:31

fleur are you being sarcastic with that comment, cos if not that is really rude

Original poster

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:31

Maybe I should stop going then and go to a different playgroup. I know things might be obvious to other people but this is my first child and I genuinely don't know which groups are nice and which aren't iyswim.

OP posts:

fishandlilacs · 23/11/2011 12:31

YABU. and you sound a bit of a snob tbh.

I have used childrens centres in a my capacity as a mum and more recently running courses at them. I think they are wonderful places. The facilities they provide are superb, you cannot choose the clientelle that decide to go there if that bothers you. Theres support for all people available, the wrap around care is usually excellent. It saddens me that they are not made better use of because we will probably lose them soon under the coalition.

I can say is the worse toddler groups I went to with DD when she was that age were both "nice" church groups. Unsafe equipment, crappy facilities, no baby changing area, no parking and again no choice over the clientelle.

pigletmania · 23/11/2011 12:31

My local Surestart centre is lovely, clean modern with lots of toys. Btw even 'nice' children hit and snatch, it not confined to those lower down on the social strata.

fridgeraiders · 23/11/2011 12:32

Are you describing under 5's as 'rough'? Babies/toddlers often hit/snatch etc until they learn not to.

Children's centres are supposed to be for all and that, I'm afraid, includes the riff raff.

Proudnscary · 23/11/2011 12:32

This thread is going to go Pete Tong...

ButHeNeverDid · 23/11/2011 12:32

I went to a childrens centre once.

It was really nice with lovely facilities

One of the staff there was telling me about all the services they offer. Including counselling for depressed mums, I told her that was good - but not relevant to me. She went on to tell me that sometimes you may not recognise you are depressed but you may really be and would not change the subject.

To be honest, she just made me feel really uncomfortable and so I decided that it just wasn't for me.

ButHeNeverDid · 23/11/2011 12:33

I would rather pay £7 per hour for baby ballet than be lectured to.

Wigeon · 23/11/2011 12:33

We are regular and enthusiastic users of our two nearest children's centres and they aren't in the least bit rough although we aren't in a dead posh area or anything. In fact they are really lovely and a genuine mix of classes and races. I am an NCT "type" (although don't ever wear Boden ). The stay-and-plays, holiday activities and toy library run by the children's centres are excellent.

In three years of using children's centres I have only ever seen one child go a bit wild and hit other children - his mum clearly didn't have a clue and actually one of the children's centre staff took her aside and had a chat (hopefully about parenting classes!) in what looked like a very supportive way.

Original poster

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:34

But surely if you see your child attacking someone you stop them don't you? Maybe it's just the one local to me -

OP posts:

seeker · 23/11/2011 12:34

Ooooh, I wouldn't want to go anywhere "rough"! Who knows what bad habits little Jocasta would pick up!

hackmum · 23/11/2011 12:35

"you sound a bit of a snob tbh."

Is it snobbish not to want your 14 month child to be hit by other kids?

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