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Original poster

Are children's centres generally "rough"??

152 replies

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:21

I've taken my ds (14mths) a few times to a children's centre (general 0-5 play session). Some of the parents are quite nice but others are just on the sofas ignoring their kids and then nipping out for fags every 10 minutes.

Likewise some of the other children are nice but others are really rough. My son has been randomly hit by others (on purpose) a few times and there is lots of snatching and a bit of fighting.

But the facilities are really great - outside play, water play, messy play, sensory area, free snack for the kids etc.

None of my NCT friends go to the children's centres (except) bumps and babies, and I was wondering if it's because everyone knows they are a bit rough and so those that can afford it stay away?? Otherwise it seems really odd as not many go to the play session but baby sensory at £7 for less than a hour has a waiting list! I guess it depends in part on the area - mine is a bit of a mix but definitely does has some rougher bits.

So my question is - if you stay away from the children's centres is it because you think they are a bit rough - or something else??

OP posts:
northernwreck · 23/11/2011 12:56

Paradise Park Centre, that was it!

Iggly · 23/11/2011 12:56

Sorry I think the snobbery on this thread is astounding.

I'm sure you judge the kids more because the parents aren't driving 4x4s with daddy working in the city.

My SS centres are great as are local groups and yes, there are differences in social status but that doesn't stop me going or writing the kids off as rough.

Maybe it's because I'm originally from a single parent family who lived in social housing (but now am doing well for myself)- so see these judgements and think Hmm

Fleurdebleurgh · 23/11/2011 12:59

Probably a hideous snob. The only people i know personally who have been offered Homestart help have all been a bit 'rough' if thats not who it is designed to be aimed at then i am obviously misinformed.

Proudnscary · 23/11/2011 13:00

Jesus

tripleZ · 23/11/2011 13:00

Esta3GG
I have a minor disability and they had no provision for adults to sit down. (Why, just because you have kids, are you expected to squat on the frigging floor all the time?)

Some of the children's round here do have seating - but the closest one doesn't parents have asked - especially the heavily pregnant ones they've been told it is to encourage parents to interact with their DC Hmm. When I was heavily pregnant and found getting up and down painful and difficult I went elsewhere.

northernwreck · 23/11/2011 13:01

Save Surestart Childrens Centres!

allcatsaregrey · 23/11/2011 13:02

Our local centre which was originally built in a very deprived area which has now been regenerated almost lost its funding cos it got taken over by the "nice middle class mums" who just wanted to use the cheap classes and creche and it got to the stage where the younger more local mums stopped going because they felt out of place and intimated by the loud voices and "perfect parenting". If you can afford to pay for the classes then leave cheap/free ones for the people who can't.

Actually my DD went to a ballet class and will never go back to it cos all the "nice middle class" kids wouldn't let her join in because she was a bit different (she has special needs). Actually now I think about it I have only heard so called "nice kids" saying in loud plummy voices "mummy why can't she speak properly mummy I don't want to dance with heeerrrrrrr". Never experiencde this at nursery/school local playgrounds etc all in a very "rough" area so I know what I prefer.

Phew....sorry...that turned into a bit of a rant.

valiumredhead · 23/11/2011 13:03

Fleur my friend had a Homestart lady twice a week as as had 5 children under 6, including twins. Nothing 'scummy' about her whatsoever I can assure you.

ruddynorah · 23/11/2011 13:05

i like ours. excellent play equipment etc. but i know many people don't go because they think it's for the 'rough' mums.

i'm doing a 6 week paediatric first aid course at ours. ds goes to play in the creche for 2 hours while i do my classes. it's great!

Woodlands · 23/11/2011 13:06

The Sure Start centres near me (scruffy area of outer London, not rough as such, though it is frequently mentioned as a rough area to avoid living in in threads on here) are great. There is a genuine mixture of mums of all social classes and ethnic backgrounds that you just don't get at any other baby/toddler activities I've been to. The staff are fab. My DS goes to nursery at one of them and it's fantastic.

allcatsaregrey · 23/11/2011 13:06

Oh and where I live Homestart is for people who have disabled children..are they scummers too?

knittedbreast · 23/11/2011 13:07

i think surestart centres are excellent, so what if other there arent like you , works both ways.
anything that brings peopl together is a good thing.

MollyTheMole · 23/11/2011 13:08

Yep, my local Surestart is as rough as a badgers fanny. Nice place for sure and the organisers are lovely, but I'll be honest I dont go there because the other parents are a bit intimidating - they are very loud, give dirty looks out to anyone and everyone, kids have skinheads and are called Kai-Jaiden or Crystal etc. Im a bit of a chav but they outchav even me Grin

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 23/11/2011 13:12

Being poor or even rough does not ='scummy'

upsylazy · 23/11/2011 13:13

Fleur I thought you were being sarcastic but it appears not. I had Home start for 6 months after my 2nd child was born because I was too depressed/anxious to leave the house on my own. I honestly believe that the wonderful worker I had prevented me from being admitted to hospital. If I was ever to have the time to do voluntary work, I would do it for them because they are a brilliant organisation.. Btw (not that it matters) but I am a middle class university educated professional and certainly not a "scummer". I have never sworn on MN before but please fuck the fuck off.
< that felt quite liberating. Makes note to self to swear more on MN more often>

AliGrylls · 23/11/2011 13:13

Our local centre is also great. I would say I am middle class and at our one I would say there is a mixture of children. I have not found them rough. TBH though I am not sure I want my children just to mix with children who have everything - it is good for children to be aware that not all children are able to afford the same things and I also want them to know that just because someone is poor it does not make them any different to those that aren't.

Also, I would hate it if my children grew up describing poor people as chavs just because they did not speak in the same way as them; could not afford nice clothes or did not have the luxury of a good education.

Lastly, I agree with the person that said the worst behaved children are middle class - I have seen some real brats recently and it is the one's whose parents have nannies and the like.

spartafc · 23/11/2011 13:13

Our nearest centre is lovely. The building is really modern, the woman in charge is fantastic, they provide fresh fruit and drinks. It's ever so well run - they have themed sessions and lots of singing etc. Unfortunately on the two or three occasions we've been, it was only DS and me who willingly participated in the singing etc. It's a bit depressing to be surrounded by mothers who have to be really cajoled into getting on the floor and having a sing along with their kids. It's sad because it really is such a lovely centre. It is in a relatively poor area, but whether that has anything to do with the way the mums behave, I couldn't tell you.

northernwreck · 23/11/2011 13:13

I think they are best in London because you get such a good mix.

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 23/11/2011 13:13

Not rising to the poor are scum debate but..

On the death of her husband and eldest son a neighbour gets home start help.

She isn't scum of a chavy fake ugg wearing teenager who's kids are wild.

She is a grieving mother of two under 3 who needs emotional support.

This thread shows why people think all middle class women are snobby bitches

Thankgodforcaffeine · 23/11/2011 13:14

I guess it does depend on the centre. The area where I live is a bit of a mix as well but the local centre is great, mainly due I think to the staff there who nicely but firmly set the rules (no rough play, all the mums have to help tidy up at the end, etc). I think it would probably be mayhem otherwise, as some of the kids are proper little bruisers!

Fleurdebleurgh · 23/11/2011 13:14

What would you say is 'scummy' then? Are 'rough' and 'scummy' not synonymous?

I agree poor is not the same as scummy though.

northernwreck · 23/11/2011 13:16

I fucking hate sitting on the floor and singing with babies and toddlers who dont sing, so you feel like a div, singing the wheels on the bus like a loon, while your baby ignores you completely!
Plus, my jeans were just too tight in those days to sit on the floor! (no-one needs to see my bum crack)

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 23/11/2011 13:17

Chavvy fake ugg wearing teenagers whose kids are wild aren't 'scum' either

mummmmmy · 23/11/2011 13:18

Was going to write that I love my local children's centres. Have been to a few and often meet my nct friends there.

Have scanned the messages and am pretty shocked to see people describing other mothers as scum or rough. Is horrible. Nobody is scum or deserves to be called that. Just because they do things that may not be ideal and you don't like their children's behaviour doesn't mean they should be judged.

AFuckingFestiveKnackeredWoman · 23/11/2011 13:19

Never said they were fanjo - But that's the stereotype that popular on middle-class mumsnet.