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Original poster

Are children's centres generally "rough"??

152 replies

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:21

I've taken my ds (14mths) a few times to a children's centre (general 0-5 play session). Some of the parents are quite nice but others are just on the sofas ignoring their kids and then nipping out for fags every 10 minutes.

Likewise some of the other children are nice but others are really rough. My son has been randomly hit by others (on purpose) a few times and there is lots of snatching and a bit of fighting.

But the facilities are really great - outside play, water play, messy play, sensory area, free snack for the kids etc.

None of my NCT friends go to the children's centres (except) bumps and babies, and I was wondering if it's because everyone knows they are a bit rough and so those that can afford it stay away?? Otherwise it seems really odd as not many go to the play session but baby sensory at £7 for less than a hour has a waiting list! I guess it depends in part on the area - mine is a bit of a mix but definitely does has some rougher bits.

So my question is - if you stay away from the children's centres is it because you think they are a bit rough - or something else??

OP posts:
Thankgodforcaffeine · 23/11/2011 13:21

By the way, I would class myself as middle class, does that automatically make me a snobby bitch, or was that just another stereotype? :-)

Iggly · 23/11/2011 13:22

Agree Fanjo

RealityIsADistantMemory · 23/11/2011 13:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pinkhebe · 23/11/2011 13:26

I think I had something like homestart, a lovely lady came and played with me and my second son. It was great as we had a nice cup of tea and chat once a week.

I also went to the childrens centre. It was a brand new centre, toys were great, and the mum's were nice too. There was a mix, some childminders, young mums, mum's with english as a second language, middle class, all were very friendly.

TeWihara · 23/11/2011 13:27

The only crap parenting I have seen at a children's centre was a delightfully MC woman who was totally blind to her child's faults. I am also deeply MC, so I can say that right?

I loved that children's centre it was really well run, lots of space, nice mix of people and nobody seemed to care that it was a mix of people(!).

The one where I've moved now is tiny and snobbier, I don't really bother with it.

Sidge · 23/11/2011 13:30

I live in one of the three most deprived boroughs in Hampshire.

For that reason our local Children's Centre has bloody loads of money pumped into it, and offers the most incredible provision for all children but especially those with additional needs. It also offers massive amounts of support, information and education for the parents (of all ages).

My daughters went to the nursery and pre-school there. It's rated Ofsted Outstanding and it really is outstanding.

It's an amazing place that changes the lives of children for the better.

Even if they are scummy Hmm

Woodlands · 23/11/2011 13:31

The language barrier can be a problem at ours - few of the parents that go speak English as a first language, and tend to talk to others who speak the same language. But everyone smiles at each other at least!

MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll · 23/11/2011 13:35

If you don't like the crowd at this one then find another...there are plenty an you can't expect to take advntage of the free facilities and moan about the other people...

Debs75 · 23/11/2011 13:42

OP I think you are generalising here but if that is all you have come across then poor you.
Surestart centres are lifelines for mums with little or no other activities for their kids. We go upto 3 times a week for playgroups and DD2's nursery and the place is lovely. Toys are great, facilities are great staff are wonderful. They also offer courses for parents and health clinics. They need saving from the bastard coalition govt and more funding.

Fleur you are just deliberatly being an arse aren't you. 'scummy' is not the same as 'rough at all and it certainly isn't the same as 'poor' Homestart picks up a lot of the slack that other govt services can't deal with. PND sufferers, disabled families, young carers all access our homestart and have got loads of great help and advice

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 23/11/2011 13:44

The different centres meet different needs depending on the locality. They have 70% areas and I think 30%. The funding varies depending (So a low area of deprivation will have less services but must still meet the neds of the families in the locality). The initial remit was to meet the needs of those people you are so delightfully calling "scummy", who were not accessing the things otherwise "posh" mummy's were. Part of the issue locally to me is that many of those more needy families are still not accessing the services, and the less "at risk" families who are. Poverty is part of this category, but not the whole part. Many of the families who are accessing it may be "poor", but not in fact within the "needy" group the CC are intended to target.

So I would and have used children's centres. They have been opened to all (and as I say, the downside is that in some ways they are still no nearer to encouraging those people they are targeting). The whole point of them was to meet the needs of children 0-5, to give all families an even pegging as it were (in line with Every Child Matters).

PenguinArmy · 23/11/2011 13:45

our centre is more 'rough' than the local playgroups, but I think that's because it attracts 0-5 whereas the playgroups tend to be filled with more 0-3. At first I found it weird that some mums wouldn't say anything to children who hit DD, but (i) I just started saying 'no hitting' myself and then distract them with another toy and (ii) I think it's actually good experience for DD.

She's at the stage of not understanding you shouldn't take toys others are playing with so I'm there to try and make sure she doesn't and to learn. However with another DC now I won't always be able to. The mums are a bit cliquey but I think this comes from insecurities. Shame they don't realise that we're probably struggling on less money than them.

I found there is a day that is less busy than others and that session is a lot better. Also the mums that attend the classes the centre runs are more chatty as there is a focus. We go one day and a week and do other activities the rest of the week.

Finally, there are lots of children's centres here and I find they do vary from area to area. I feel a bit uncomfortable at our one, but I think money is limited as they do a lot of targeted activities and it was made clear to me I'm not the target. Whereas one two miles away, said I could come and just hang out, it didn't matter. The staff at our nearest one make judgement's on you without clarifying it. There was a free outing to a nature thing and despite asking people did they want to go they walked straight past me and were surprised when I said hang on...

TheRhubarb · 23/11/2011 13:47

I think catcherintherain is just trying to wind everyone up, especially with her comment about not ever seeing mothers ignore babies apart from in children's centres.

She obviously wants to start a massive discussion about stereotypes and class and I'm not sure I can be bothered to enter into a debate started off by a trouble-maker.

carabos · 23/11/2011 13:48

LOL at "those who can afford it stay away". Grin Presumably there's some sort of reverse means test in operation?

TheRhubarb · 23/11/2011 13:48

And a quick search reveals that this is her very first thread on Mumsnet.

What a surprise.

PenguinArmy · 23/11/2011 13:49

How annoying, still the info might help some people nonetheless

TandB · 23/11/2011 14:21

We used to use a surestart situated on the edge of one of the largest council estates in the UK with many social problems.

The surestart was brilliant - I went to all sorts of classes and groups there. it had a big mix of people, from teenage mums through asylum seekers who spoke no English, to middle class professionals.

I never once saw a mother ignore a misbehaving child. I wish I could say the same for the expensive softplay centre we occasionally frequented in the middle of yummymummysville Chelsea, where DS was frequently flattened by older children whose parents had decided the "under 2s only" sign on the baby area did not apply to their precious offspring.

Original poster
catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 17:26

Well, I was just trying to work out why the local children's centre had all this free stuff but not that many people there, but other places which charged a lot (baby signing - £6 a session, baby sensory

OP posts:
Original poster
catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 17:28

oh and btw the helper there pretty much said the same about some people being a bit rough, one of the kids was randomly hitting out, the helper apologised to me but said "sorry we have to be inclusive and have all sorts here"

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 23/11/2011 17:31

I used to work at one and even though it was in a rough area saw the opposite. It was rather taken over by the middle class mums.

thebigkahuna · 23/11/2011 17:31

Round here they are the toddler entertainment equivalent of ALDI Grin

usualsuspect · 23/11/2011 17:31

WTF?

0/10

hifi · 23/11/2011 18:01

our childrens centre is aimed at deprived families,we have area maps ,down to the house no. to where these families and who we are targeting. as funding is zilch next year nearly all classes etc will have to be paid for,hopefully that will still fund some suppoert for these people.

Firawla · 23/11/2011 19:27

if the worker really did say that to you i think that is very unprofessional!

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 19:31

I think you are just going to stay with your toddler regardless of the roughness because it has good play things , so it wont matter if its a bit rough or not , i work at 1 of these places and its a godsend (slightly ott) to all the parents regardless of the roughness ,

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 19:37

just read on scummers who use homestart these are children you were on about i really hope the poster who said this doesnt fall on badtimes and has to struggle , *scummers ive heard it all now

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