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Original poster

Are children's centres generally "rough"??

152 replies

catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 12:21

I've taken my ds (14mths) a few times to a children's centre (general 0-5 play session). Some of the parents are quite nice but others are just on the sofas ignoring their kids and then nipping out for fags every 10 minutes.

Likewise some of the other children are nice but others are really rough. My son has been randomly hit by others (on purpose) a few times and there is lots of snatching and a bit of fighting.

But the facilities are really great - outside play, water play, messy play, sensory area, free snack for the kids etc.

None of my NCT friends go to the children's centres (except) bumps and babies, and I was wondering if it's because everyone knows they are a bit rough and so those that can afford it stay away?? Otherwise it seems really odd as not many go to the play session but baby sensory at £7 for less than a hour has a waiting list! I guess it depends in part on the area - mine is a bit of a mix but definitely does has some rougher bits.

So my question is - if you stay away from the children's centres is it because you think they are a bit rough - or something else??

OP posts:
BsshBossh · 23/11/2011 19:59

Our local children's centres (free) are certainly not rough but they do attract parents who need help with parenting skills (counsellors are around teaching them how to engage with their DC), which is part of the centres' purpose. Of course there are parents who use them just to get a break from their DC so leave their DC to play whilst the chat with other carers. This too is fine IMO.

The centres, clubs and activites where you have to pay definitely attract the middle classes only in my area.

But I wouldn't say any facility is rough!

Alambil · 23/11/2011 20:01

I work in a CC - my clients are not rough!

Yes, they may be from an area of deprivation; social, economic or otherwise and yes, they are sometimes "hard to reach" but they are not, ever "rough"

As funding becomes tighter, our work is becoming more target based to reach those families that "need" the early help, but they're still not "rough"

What a horrid judgement!

proudfoot · 23/11/2011 20:02

ROFL at "those who can afford it stay away" and all these snobby comments Confused My sister loves the children's centre and always takes her DCs to activities there. Hers had a full mix of mums of different age and class. They can be a great way to make local friends and get out of the house. Nothing "scummy" about it Hmm

bringbacksideburns · 23/11/2011 20:14

Your nice NCT chums are being ripped off - £7 for less than an hour and there's a waiting list??

If you feel comfortable use it - take some of your MC pals with you and mix it up a bit - you know, so it's a bit more like real life? You might even all enjoy it then.

Alternatively closet yourself away and be ripped off because of the post code and the fact that, as we know, no mc kids are ever 'rough' or disobedient or aggressive ...

BarryStar · 23/11/2011 20:18

A lot of SureStart centres will be in areas that are seen as being "deprived", the whole idea being to make services available for everybody, not just those who can afford them. And most of them offer a huge range of services, eg, baby clinics, speech therapy drop in sessions, mother and toddler groups, adult education, access to health visitors. They are a fantastic resource, but sadly, as someone said earlier, their futures are very uncertain.

And as for HomeStart - the only criteria needed to qualify for a HomeStart volunteer is that there is a child under five in the family. That means the service is available across the board - even to - presumably - people like you Fleur.

Sleepyspaniel · 23/11/2011 20:31

The one Surestart centre I went to with DD1 is in a deprived area. I wouldn't like to describe it as rough but I definitely stuck out in a subtle way (nice car, "posher" accent, educated to degree level). Most people were friendly but I felt I was being judged for the above also because I have on the higher side of average cost pram, baby bag, clothes etc comparatively.

IDK, I just felt it "wasn't for the likes of me" Confused (as in, I wasn't fully accepted for being more middle class) and like I was an imposter or something. I didn't feel like I fitted in even though I was friendly and the others I met were friendly at least superficially, it wasn't an obvious rejection of each other at all, it was more inherent.

Original poster
catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 20:34

Sleepyspaniel - your post is how I'm starting to feel. When I first went I really had no idea about what to expect but am starting to feel that the place isn't really for me.

OP posts:
Original poster
catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 20:36

Also something that I find a bit odd about the place is all the preachy notices up "if someone isn't here please don't gossip about them", "don't swear in front of children", "no salty crisps as snacks", "please remember to interact with your child" etc.

OP posts:
ninah · 23/11/2011 20:38

I'd stay away, op, they're obviously not your thing

usualsuspect · 23/11/2011 20:40

Yes stay away OP

You wouldn't want your Pram nicked would you

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 20:40

reminders in the notices are for benefit of all saves staff repeating themselves every 5 minutes and that the centre isnt a place to dump children staff arnt baby sitters , especially the gossiping thing , alot of people are from the same area and yes some of the families will be in some sort of need and they dont need bitched and gossiped about , I you arnt comfortable in the childrens centre then dont go back simple as ,

usualsuspect · 23/11/2011 20:42

I don't believe you

emsyj · 23/11/2011 20:43

My local children's centre is great, lots of lovely toys in fab condition, very very nice staff who will make you a cup of tea as soon as you walk through the door, tons of free sessions for babies and mums - my only complaint is the slightly bizarre content of the child safety talk I went to for first-time mums. I won't bother going into it, but it was odd.

All the mums I've met at the children's centre are the exact same mums I see at Rhythm Time, baby swimming, naice coffee shops and anywhere else - not same 'type', the actual same people. There isn't any 'division' where I live between people who go to stuff you pay for and people who go to the children's centre.

Original poster
catcherintherain · 23/11/2011 20:46

usual suspect - you seem unhinged - what don't you believe?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 23/11/2011 20:48

People like you make me unhinged

ninah · 23/11/2011 20:49

usual
don't feed ...

usualsuspect · 23/11/2011 20:49

I know....

I'm in a vile mood ,I need a punchbag

Mum2be79 · 23/11/2011 20:50

Not all people who use Sure Start / Children's Centres are 'scummy' as some people call it.

But not all middle class mummies are snobs either - as some people say.

I'm 'middle class' (if that is being a university educated person with a career in teaching as well as a DH who is also university educated, works in the power industry and about to work towards his doctorate) and I have every intention of using the facilities no matter who goes! I would like my child to be exposed to the good and the bad of society - that way I'll know he/she will learn how to cope and strike up some sort of relationship with people of all walks of life.

As for the hitting - as mentioned by the OP - you can't wrap your kids up in cotton wool. If it doesn't happen there, it will happen in somewhere else. The lesson is 'How will you teach your DC to deal with it?'

Like anywhere (playgrounds, schools, shopping centres etc, etc) you are bound to come across people whose standard of living is either below your expectations or spout off that they are 'above'. it's called society. Without society, how the hell would we function?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 23/11/2011 20:50

Usual is possibly the least unhinged poster on the whole of MN

ninah · 23/11/2011 20:52

ah, well, in that case ... passes plate of iceland party food

ThePathanKhansWitch · 23/11/2011 20:54

Nasty vindictive thread. Mothers and children your talking about. scummers
rough.

FFS get a grip of your head.

catnet · 23/11/2011 20:54

they should also have a notice 'don't diss this children's centre on mumsnet'

mrsboombastic · 23/11/2011 20:59

I work in a children centre and I use my local children centre with my children. Many of the services are targeted, including counselling for those who suffer p.n.d. and support for those who are victims of domestic abuse, neither of which you have to be a certain class or type of person to suffer! Many of the other services are free for anyone with a young child who would benefit from them. It's about givingALL young children the best possible experiences. OP if you want your child to benefit from the great services then keep going, if you don't feel comfortable for whatever reason then go elsewhere. Simple.

Noopypappy · 23/11/2011 21:02

I am a middle class NCT mum and love my local children's centre. It was full of mums like me though. I kind of felt guilty that this great resource was being provided for my friends and I when that money could be used to support less well off families.

sheepgomeep · 23/11/2011 21:08

Fleurdebleurg thanks very much I'm a scumme homestart then. Cheers. I have home start not because I'm a scummy cow who neglects their kids and can't parent. I go there because I've had so much go on in my life and I've needed the suppport which I have had from family group and a volunteer. I am degree educated, I work too and my children are well cared for and well adjusted.

Many people are totally ignorant on what homestart actually is and it annoys me. I've seen posh kids from posh families act apallingly in homestart group far worse than the scummers kids