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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not be able to deal with other peoples children?

125 replies

mrsshears · 22/11/2011 16:24

I have posted about this before,however i seem to be getting more and more intollerent of other peoples children.
In social situations,my own dd's play dates and basically everywhere else,i just find them intensely annoying,the noise,the craziness etc.
Am i on my own in this? i feel mean saying it but its true,i dread situations that involve other peoples children,AIBU?

OP posts:

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 23/11/2011 08:09

Ling, quite.

LeQueen · 23/11/2011 08:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 08:47

mine are older but i never liked the whole playdate thing not that i didnt like children but i hated having to amuse them feed them and be responsible for them id rather take them out somewhere than have them in , I have teens now and they are far shriekier than a 7 year old I rarely have them round , i know i was antisocial when my kids were small , as the social whirl of coming for tea passed us by , but i didnt really care , they saw their friends at school all day why would they want to see them after school too ,

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 08:52

also while im on it i find relatives children worse than friends , i have a DM who has horrible children well teens they havnt changed they have always been rude cheeky and horrible but we have all the be Familiy and get on when clearly i want to put them over my knee and smack their bottom .

they are now out of control teens and i cant even say to the FM i told you so when she was allowing them to run amock i have to be supportive and say there there its just a phase ! sorry im sounding a right bitch now

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 08:53

not dm imeant Familiy memeber obviously

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 23/11/2011 09:08

Oh LeQueen, you are such a bore. Sorry, but really...

Enjoy your 'perfect parent' bit, though!

Bugsy2 · 23/11/2011 09:17

Argh, why does someone have to be boring if they have well behaved children!!!!! This cheeses me off bigtime. I've put blood, sweat & tears into ensuring my two are pleasant people to be with. I don't always get it right - but I follow very similar tactics to LeQueen.
I am not dull & neither are my DCs. They are fun & we have fun - but they are not precocious little arses who think that grown ups only exist to tend to their every need or that they are the centre of the bloody universe. I'm not saying all children are like this - but an awful lot are. They weren't born that way - their parents have allowed them or even encouraged them to be that way.
Foaming, froth, ranty....................................... GRRRRRR!!!!!!

mrsjay · 23/11/2011 09:22

Bugsy i do like your ranting as there is an awful lot of children who seem to think adults are just there to preen and run after them , I do try and teach mine that the world does not revolve round them , I had 1 child on a rare playdate , said to me I dont like your house its to small for me i have a playroom , now im not dissing playrooms but did the little darling have to be so rude she was 9 so not little , just a snooty little cow

StaceymAloneForver · 23/11/2011 09:25

my dp cant stand other peoples children, its really funny, during paydates he can be found with earphones in in our bedroom

I am a bit mroe tolerant but hate noisy kids, mine are pretty quiet at home, there's a few of their friends i don't mind but most i just suck it up!

SomekindofSpanish · 23/11/2011 09:28

Don't mind most of my DCs friends - there's one or two that I have not warmed to, but they tend to just go off and play. They never ask for things or bother me when they are at my house.

Actually, there was one of DS1's friends who came over when he was in YR2, so about aged 7. He was so rude, he never came back again. DS1 tells me he has changed (they are now 10/11). He is still not coming back .

I have been told that mine are lovely and polite both at school and in others' homes. However, DS1 in partic, is not always so angelic at home. I suppose at least they are 'representing' the Spanish household when out .

TandB · 23/11/2011 09:29

I am normally reasonably tolerant of OPC but at nearly 8 months pregnant I am finding my tolerance stores strangely depleted - all children are a reminder of the carnage that is coming to me very soon!

I am also in agreement with the other panda - there are times when my own DS nearly drives me insane,

never mind OPC!

SardineQueen · 23/11/2011 09:33

I prefer other people's children.

I'm not in their company that much.

Mine I have to see all the time and have them whinging round my ankles and being sick in my bed and shitting in the bath. Which can be a bit of a bind.

SlinkingOutsideInSocks · 23/11/2011 09:38

Oh Bugsy - deep breath!!

I'm sure her children, as yours, are delightful.

Just trust LeQueen not to miss a moment to cover herself in glory.

Did you read my post on the previous page? Did I make any mention of my own children? Surely, if I had boisterous, noisy children, I would have claimed that, but I didn't.

I've barely even begun down the disciplining route yet as my two are so young, plus thus far, they are well-behaved. Now, I could put that down to my own exemplary parenting skills, or I could give them some credit.

Believe me, it's not because her well-behaved children that I accuse LQ of dullness!

vess · 23/11/2011 10:10

I like some of them. Others not so much.
I feel a bit guilty if I happen to dislike a particular child, and try not to show it. There is this girl, who's friends with DD1, who I find very irritating and can't help it. She cries when she doesn't get her own way, and whinges a lot. I hate, hate, hate that! Even worse, last time they played, she tried to persuade DD1 to stop being friends with another girl she's friends with. GRRRR!

Bumblequeen · 23/11/2011 10:23

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

BadTasteFlump · 23/11/2011 10:26

Haven't read the whole thread but yes I must admit other peoples' children generally get on my tits annoy me - even the ones I'm related to.

But without wanting to sound like Mary Poppins oh go on then, I tend to think the way children behave in public usually reflects on the way they are treated at home by their parents. From day one my DC knew that DH and I are a united front and there's no point in running to one parent if the other has said 'no' to something. They also know that (to us) basic manners are very important, as are bedtimes, helping out with chores and being generally kind and respectful to each other.

I go to friends houses sometimes and can't wait to escape after watching their children talk over them, boss them around like little dictators and run rings around them an hour+ after 'bedtime' has taken place.

Yes I sound like a grumpy old cow but I don't care - and my children do love me, honestly!

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 23/11/2011 10:27

Slinking. I have four children. 2 are immaculately behaved and always have been, and are now 18 and 17. The other two, well, that's a different story. DS is now 15 and was a complete little shit a lot of the time from the age of 5-10, but has now turned into a delightful, caring and gentle young man.

DD3 is 2 and is something of a work in progress. I have done nothing different with any of my children but wouldn't have them any other way. DD3 is a sweet, caring and gentle little girl two thirds of the time. The other side of her is an irksome, filthy, daredevil monster. Both these sides are what make her.

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 23/11/2011 10:29

Oh, and I really don't mind other peoples' children. Some are angelic little beings, some can be total fuckers, but they are all lovely in their own ways. In my 18 years of being a mother I can honestly say that I have yet to come across a child with no redeeming features.

The world be a be a fucking boring place if everyone was the same don't you think.

SueSunshine · 23/11/2011 10:44

I was interested to read this thread ? I remember some time ago, a lady posted saying she was finding it hard to like her stepchildren, and she felt guilty about.

She got absolutely panned/flamed/roasted.

It seems it?s quite OK to find OPC difficult, unless they?re your stepchildren. Why the double standard??

StaceymAloneForver · 23/11/2011 10:52

sue iwould kinda day that you have to get on with your stepchildren, it's nto their fault you are with their parent, and you took that person on knowing they had children.

I would be incredibly upset to find out my dc's stepmum didn't like them, thankfully i know she loves them almost as much as i do

SueSunshine · 23/11/2011 11:13

Isn't that rather like saying you HAVE to like your mother-in-law ????? You have to at least tolerate her for the sake for family relations, but you can't always like her!

SardineQueen · 23/11/2011 11:23

No it's like saying you have to like children who are in your family.

And if you don't like them, you try hard to like them!

When DHs siblings have children of course I will have to like them, really. Even if I don't like them. IYSWIM!

SardineQueen · 23/11/2011 11:24

And of course a step-child is closer family than a cousin - given that they come and stay with you at weekends and stuff.

PigletJohn · 23/11/2011 11:40

there is a view that people feel instinctively "closer" to people they have a genetic connection with and who will carry on their line.

So your child is twice as close as your parent, four times as close as your uncle

A grandmother is closer to her grandchildren than to someone else's, however charming they may (not) be. No-one is close to their in-laws.

Does that seem to match?

SardineQueen · 23/11/2011 11:47

I will be close to my DHs siblings children by dint of them being related to my children.

I see what you mean piglet but I think that for many people marriage and extended family really feels like extended family IYSWIM.

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