...to expect other mums to consult me before they organise parties!

[Alice38]

Alpha mums at my ds primary have organised a MEGA christmas party (outside of the little class plarty) 3 hours long on the Saturday a week before Xmas! They just went ahead and booked it and now are busily forcing other mums in the class to cough up money for cost and help out! I have politely declined but I am FURIOUS! Who do they think they are?

They are not demanding money with menaces for god sake. The OP needs to look to her own feelings and why she feels so intimidated.

And I know there are people who have strong personality's - they are very often the people that get ''things done'' or organise stuff rather than worrying about what people think and assigning ulterior motives to everything.

Would you so cross OP if it wasn't just before Christmas and it wasn't such short notice? It's another thing to factor in at quite a busy time.

I have mixed views on the alpha mums - yes they exist, but some are nice and nothing would happen without them, as they are the ones who help out at events time and again to benefit the school and the kids. Otoh, some can be bitches and cliquey. I've found the best way is to opt in to the bits I want and am willing to put myself out for, and ignore or decline the bits I'm not interested in.

It sounds great tbh!

I wonder what OP thinks the Alpha Mums' motives were ??

It's a kids party. What's the issue? Don't go if you and your LO don't want to, OP. They must expect that quite a few won't be able to make the Saturday before Christmas. If this was about - "The Alpha Mums have organised a MASS party and my DC alone is not invited" then I could see what the issue was.

YABU, and sound like someone who will never be happy with anything unless you thought of it.

I think the OP is probably pissed off by the expectation these Mums have that everyone will be willing and able to fall in with their plans, and the almost silent pressure that can be exerted.

If ianything has been on FB for ds's school, then it would pass me by as I don't do FB. There's a simple solution for you!

Um, I have no idea why there's an issue. YABU.

Now I'm paranoid about giving flyers out in the playground for our Parent's Night Out.

I didn't consult anyone, I picked a date I could do (seeing as I'm organising it) and have invited everyone.

I'm no Alpha Mum. Just someone who got off their backside and arranged something that a lot of people kept wittering about and waiting for someone else to do.

There'll be a few who can't make it, there'll be a few who don't want to. I've tried to keep it cheap. If anyone got furious over it I'd think they were ever so slightly insane and in need of anger management.

If my sons are invited to a party and we can't go/afford it, I simply tell the kids we can't go, after a slight sagging of shoulders they get over it.

So glad mine are out of primary I think these mums who are ever so efficient and organised dont give 2 hoots about anybody else , seriously an outside xmas party what a load of tosh , you are right to be annoyed about it id just let them get on with it TBH . just wait till primary prom comes round watch them go into overdrive

"just before Christmas and it wasn't such short notice?"

It's still November. I wouldn't call the week before Christmas exactly short notice.

mrsjay, the OP is not "annoyed", she is "FURIOUS", which seems very odd to me.

camper i think id be irritated i dont think id be furious maybe shes just really really annoyed its not something to get so angry over although i dont see the point of an outside party