to think this should have got, at least a reply.

[PoetryMistress]

Dear Husband

So today is the end of the week and this far it?s been quite tough,
So I decided to peer in the mirror and saw someone looking quite rough,
The weekend is nearly upon us and so tonight after bedtime and bath,
I shall shroud myself in a beauty regime whilst you watch TV and laugh,
Firstly I deal with the smoothness and shave pits, legs and bits,
I lather my body in soapy delight and shout you to look at my tits,
In the buff I?ll defluff, all my lady bits and stuff, and maybe pedicure my toes,
I?ll wash and delight, then cream through the night so my body smells like a rose,
I?ll forgo pyjamas and slip on some lace, silk, see through and slutty,
Then I?ll beckon you into the bedroom whilst you mould my body like putty,
Perhaps you could prepare just a little, it will only take a short while,
You need to practice your accents and plaster your face with a smile.

From PM.

Thanks PM, nice way to spend a few hours on a fri afternoon

Well, it is past my bedtime.

Night, Mums. Luv ya.

[climbs out of bedroom window]

Why isn't the OP's replies showing up in the colour thingy?

ShirleyKnot

OP's life is black and white
Life if fab or else it's shite

So, no colour.

I didn't use the capital 'm'. Sorry shirleyknot.

Genius!

I must confess to being confused,
I thought the MN login box we used,
Disregardarded capitals or small case.
Maybe I'm incorrect in this particular case?

Me too. But I'm now on phone and can't be arsed to go through registering stuff again.

Poetry, you should be in the sack by now.

Your man is smiling and his accent is decidedly odd.

xx

Well body is smooth and smelling sweet,
Husband has produced a large length of meat,
His accent was russian/german but oh so sexy,
My body was not moulded but super flexy,
But the highliht was Mumsnet as always tonight,
Ultimately funny, witty and full of delight,
Thanks the posters who were funny and frank,
Maybe in classics this thread mumsnet will bank,
I bid you farewell returning to my former self,
No drip feeding detail or boasting by stealth.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ooops a bit too much víno.

Shirley, login box
Reserves for you all versions
With caps and/or none.

But greening of posts
Is really excessively
Sensitive to caps.

Without proper caps
It knows that you are still you
But won't tell others.

It reads as if he's coming back to a nicely washed, sweetly smelling corpse. Which, provided he approaches it with the correct sort of smile on his face, he can play with, like an industrial-sized packet of Plasticine.

I like cheese,

it's cheesy, sometimes that makes me feel wheezy,

when I feel wheezy my bum gets very breezy,

When my bum get breezy, people pays me monies to go away,

And with that money I buys more cheese,

Because I like cheese, cheese makes me breezy.

Dear Mrs PoetryMistress

The poem you sent was quite charming
And also a little alarming
When I noticed with shock
The 'shrouding'. - My cock
Is not ready for any embalming

It was lovely to receive your letter
(Made my day considerably better)
However, it's true
Occasionally you
Are mistaken for Jack the red setter

When sometimes you tickle my leg in the night
My appendage gains considerable height
I reach for a cuddle
But wake in a muddle
As Jack gives a powerful bite

So, in order to put this confusion to bed
I'd rather you do as your poetry said
If you epilate often
My mood may well soften
And I won't come home with such dread.

There is nothing worse
Than Mumsnet verse
I won't refrain
(No pain, no gain)
But I'll keep it short and terse

Did the OP come
Back to this thread she began?
I wonder why not.

She did, SoupDragon, and was very funny and magnanimous. She's a star.

See page 7.

Ah. For some reason
Her post was not highlighted
As it should have been

Happy Haikus. Nice.