to think this should have got, at least a reply.

[PoetryMistress]

Dear Husband

So today is the end of the week and this far it?s been quite tough,
So I decided to peer in the mirror and saw someone looking quite rough,
The weekend is nearly upon us and so tonight after bedtime and bath,
I shall shroud myself in a beauty regime whilst you watch TV and laugh,
Firstly I deal with the smoothness and shave pits, legs and bits,
I lather my body in soapy delight and shout you to look at my tits,
In the buff I?ll defluff, all my lady bits and stuff, and maybe pedicure my toes,
I?ll wash and delight, then cream through the night so my body smells like a rose,
I?ll forgo pyjamas and slip on some lace, silk, see through and slutty,
Then I?ll beckon you into the bedroom whilst you mould my body like putty,
Perhaps you could prepare just a little, it will only take a short while,
You need to practice your accents and plaster your face with a smile.

From PM.

like corlans version better!

Practising accents is intriguing though. Do you insist he adopts Forrin whilst making the sex?

My money's on French hairy you see.

You do concentrate heavily on removing your body hair (are you very furry?) but neglect to remind him to wash his knob. A smile is not enough, oh no.

Sue - I love you and want to have your children

Don't you shroud dead people?
This is not the impression you want to give (or is it )

demented. Straight to the point

Oh yeah OP, remind him to wash his knob.

OK, lovey. Remove all that lady-fluff from your bits and I'm in.

Which accents do you want him to practise? Does a French one do it for you? Or Italian? Will it be like this bit in A Fish Called Wanda when John Cleese speaks Russian and makes Jamie Lee Curtis writhe in pleasure?

And deemented

boob, pube, lube

vag, badge

clench, french

sooooo many rhymes you've not utilised

OK let's see all of you do better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The shaving of yourself bit is just...weird. Unless your husbands is into that sort...

kinky.

I had a friend whose boyfriend shaved her minge for her. I. Would.DIE.

Perhaps he's worried about you bellowing at him: "YOU! TO LOOK AT MY TITS"

Is it something you shout a lot?

Also, if you cream through the night, you might be a bit slippery.

You use putty to reconstruct bits of dead people (in case of gunshot wounds etc.), too. So there's something of an undercover necrophilia vibe going on here in general.

We're horrible.

We should be ashamed of ourselves.

Our weekly shag fest it draws near
Perhaps you'll take me up the rear?

Your best french accent makes me quiver
Now I'm hairless I have to shiver

We bought some wet wipes, you've cleaned you cock
Slip me out of my Boden Frock

I've even shaved my hairy bum
So get stuck in, lets have some fun

Dear Husband of mine
please take note of my efforts
and roger me good

(this is haiku but not as you know it)

Dear husband I am up for some
I've even shaved my legs
The very least that you can do
Is clean your cock of smeg

And at what point are you going to clean the bath?

If he goes in the bathroom to wash his knob and clean his teeth, he will see a bath lined with fur and suspect you of foul play with the cat.

if its not too much hassle,
i need help with my vajazzle

He's trying to write something similarly noble for you.

Try not to curse your bad luck
I'm really not up for a fuck
I'd rather watch telly
Than the lines on your belly
And your poetry's frankly just muck

Anyway, in answer to your original question OP, YABU.

catgirl

oh lolo at limerick grovel, v good

grovel

When I read 'practise your accents' I thought 'Umlauts? Really?'

I am clearly not getting enough.