to think this should have got, at least a reply.

[PoetryMistress]

Dear Husband

So today is the end of the week and this far it?s been quite tough,
So I decided to peer in the mirror and saw someone looking quite rough,
The weekend is nearly upon us and so tonight after bedtime and bath,
I shall shroud myself in a beauty regime whilst you watch TV and laugh,
Firstly I deal with the smoothness and shave pits, legs and bits,
I lather my body in soapy delight and shout you to look at my tits,
In the buff I?ll defluff, all my lady bits and stuff, and maybe pedicure my toes,
I?ll wash and delight, then cream through the night so my body smells like a rose,
I?ll forgo pyjamas and slip on some lace, silk, see through and slutty,
Then I?ll beckon you into the bedroom whilst you mould my body like putty,
Perhaps you could prepare just a little, it will only take a short while,
You need to practice your accents and plaster your face with a smile.

From PM.

I was pleased with "Boden frock" :)

I was eating a cornish pasty until I got to the smeggy nob.

It's taken me all bloody day
To depilate my clunge (ugh)
So when you join me in the shower
For fucks sake, bring the plunger.

oooh Pending, praps umlaut is one of them, erm Urban Dictionary things we ought not to google

Really Shirley ? I had a salad and a yoghurt.

It does rather read as though in the time it takes you to lather your body in soapy delight all your body hair will have grown back, which is a seriously impressive rate of hair growth upon which you could surely build a career as a minor TV celebrity.

Grovel wins

that is horrid. she might have that hairy condition where hair sprouts uncontrollably. Hairists.

Yes dickie. A cornish Pasty, I have a slight hangover.

Dear hubby I hope you feel fruity
For beneath this thick pelt I'm a beauty
A strim and a mow
Will make way down below
But rinse your nob first, that's your duty.

Dear hubby to give you a thriller
I have made my self look killer
I've waxed and I've plucked
You can give me a fuck
Without thinking I'm a gorilla.

poetry mistress

were you serious?

Hully - YOU! TO LOOK AT MY TITS!...brilliant

Dearest husband,
You're in luck,
First time for ages,
I'm after a jolly good night sleep.

How hairy are you???

Just get to the point and send him a text saying hurry home I fancy a fuck.

Maybe husband could wash it in the bath water while she's in there; for the environment like.

Yanbu. He should DEFINITELY have responded - my husband would be thrilled.

poetry mistress are you sobbing somewhere?

I'm worried now.

His response (after Marvell):

Had we but Veet enough, and time,
This hearth rug, Wookie, were no crime...

I'm laughing so loudly, the dog has wandered over and is staring at me in the most peculiar fashion.

I fear the OP doth regret her verse,
As do I, imagining her hairy purse.

Shave the dog crashdoll

Was this an email? Are you SURE you sent it to him and not your mother?