to think this should have got, at least a reply.

[PoetryMistress]

Dear Husband

So today is the end of the week and this far it?s been quite tough,
So I decided to peer in the mirror and saw someone looking quite rough,
The weekend is nearly upon us and so tonight after bedtime and bath,
I shall shroud myself in a beauty regime whilst you watch TV and laugh,
Firstly I deal with the smoothness and shave pits, legs and bits,
I lather my body in soapy delight and shout you to look at my tits,
In the buff I?ll defluff, all my lady bits and stuff, and maybe pedicure my toes,
I?ll wash and delight, then cream through the night so my body smells like a rose,
I?ll forgo pyjamas and slip on some lace, silk, see through and slutty,
Then I?ll beckon you into the bedroom whilst you mould my body like putty,
Perhaps you could prepare just a little, it will only take a short while,
You need to practice your accents and plaster your face with a smile.

From PM.

High five emoticom ( if we had one)

I have just shouted at my ds and am hiding upstairs feeling very guilty, but cross and this thread has cheared me right up. Big thanks to all.

.

Are you the OP? ;)

Get back to kitchen, Mum.

If you leave Tesco Value alphabet soup simmering too long the letters become indistinguishable.

That would wind up your DH.

Thank you to all the poets, never laughed so much

Hello, well it wasn't really serious....dh replied straight away. I sent it as a joke, he was having a terrible day.

I am delighted that the thread eventually turned into what I had hoped, after a bit of vipers nest behaviour . Loving all the efforts.

Ah I see the capital 'm' makes a difference.

I was not looking for admiration the rhythm was shit!

And am not so hairy.

Dh, I know it's scary
That I am quite so hairy
You can barely find my mary
Under all that fluff.

But I have bought a razor
I didn't mean to phaze yuh
But show me you Love Laser
and get me up the duff...

Good to see you on your thread:
We feared you'd done a flounce and fled!
Rhythm counts at certain times,
But not when writing silly rhymes.
When you and DH get things going,
I'm sure you'll find your pulses flowing :)

Porto!

There once was a poet most hairy
whose poems were desperately lairy
she said "hump my plaits"
"Oh no" said the cats
"he's short-sighted and we're very wary"

poetry, I can only thank you for starting such an enjoyable thread. You're a star.

Yes -thanks! It's been hilarious

Hope you and your husband have a rampant night :)

garlic, I was just thinking my rhyme is a great example of the vagaries of English speilling - maybe I can use it with dd somewhere?

'Twould make an impression, no doubt ("Look what my mum wrote!")

Dear wife

D.I.V.O.R.C.E.

your husband x

sent via my laywer

Why thanks, this thread is my most successful and one I've posted the least on! Coincidence?!

My Dh thinks the original is the best so there we have it ladies, though a few of the others were fab too!

Bravo you funny lot; though I have inflammation of my ribcage and have actually had to hug myself to stop the pain when laughing

And Grovel, your father and I think you should get off Mumsnet.