to be upset at racism accusation due to dd1's comment in town.

[PrincessScrumpy]

dd1 is 3 and said loudly "look mummy that lady has a chocolate face." The woman heard and said " nice to see you training her to be racist already!" I was really shocked. dd didn't mean offence it was an observation that her skin colour was the same as chocolate. She's only met a few people from other races due to us living in the West Country but I've always explained skin colour in the same way as hair and eye colour being different.

She did say it once before about Tiger Woods on TV but I decided to ignore it and not make an issue. dd now is asking what racist is and I don't think a 3yo needs to know - they don't see colour as a issue or feel superior etc. Left me shaken and actally quite cross. I really think the lady was being oversensitive.

Does it matter whether it happend of not? It still raises something worthy of discussion on an otherwise dull Friday morning.

Was clearly not said in a perjorative way so the 3 yo not being racist. No-one being unreasonable, just v awkward all round, op was probably too shocked to react before other lady had her say. There is zero racial diversity at my DS primary school so i can sort of see how this could have happened, not saying this is a good thing btw

how about explaining it to her so it dosen't become habit get some books for children on different cultures with some pictures in im mixed race and my daughter used to ask why her grandma's white why grandpas dark black and im a golden coulour just educate her more make her more aware there's different countrys different coulours but where all the same.

oh, nothing like a good ranty thread, whether it happened or not.

I don't think that children are inherently racist, but I do think they are inherently different-ist.

Fuck off Jez you plug-ugly fucker, no offense.

pug ugly...douchebag

Well of course they notice difference, that's what eyes are for.

It's up to us to explain and educate how and what they are and how they may or may not be dexcribed.

No, you look like a plug, no offence

I love 'no offence.' I'm going to use it a lot more widely, I never knew it meant you could say wottever you liked!

snooooooort! rolf etc

Excellent - a typically idiotic MN thread on race. Can be summed up as 'white people determine how black people should react to offensive, hurtful comment'. Of course, there's nothing racist about that.

What's rolf ever done?

Rolfist

Whta, ol' paedo face? Nothinghe's bloody lovely, but there is something abouthim I cant quite put my finger on.

Well said charitygirl.

Are we to believe that the OP's dd has never watched Cbeebies?

jeee Apparently not. She's only ever seen a brief glimpse of Tiger Woods on the news.

Charity the comment was said by a 3 yo child - i don't image she intended to be hurtful or offensive

Ah worra I see, a comma in there somewhere might have been helpful!

Calma, this is a piety contest not a rational thread.

a three year old child a that age is innocent i think the lady overreacted its not like it was coming from a nine year old then id be worried.

It's not pious to automatically and unthinkingly look horrified if your small child says something it shouldn't.

i see the thread has lost all logic.

Loads of studies have shown that small children favour their own race. They don't think other races are bad, they just think their own race is better. Its the same for gender. I think lots of white parents are afraid to discuss race with their dcs as they think they will make an issue when there isn't one. Having a few books lying around and occasionally saying 'everyone is different' or 'everyone is equal' doesn't really cut it with little ones. When you aren't white you have to talk about differences and prejudices specifically along race lines because its your reality. Sometimes its a bit abstract for white parents and children I think.
I find I talk to my dd about issues that specifically affect women in a deeper way than I do my dss, they often just get a 'girls can do that too, everyone is equal' crappy comment and I suppose thats what its like raising white children in a predominantly white area.

slavetofilofax - I think it's important because, unless you live in a strongly multicultural community, your dc will otherwise learn to assume that white is normal and desirable. In the same way, I try to make sure that my children have books showing boys being caring and girls being pirates. Obviously I try to keep it age-appropriate and not doctrinaire or heavy-handed. It's not about giving them big lectures on the evils of racism, it's about giving them a frame of reference that is then a useful starting point when other conversations are needed, and showing them that this is a topic I'm happy to discuss.

Somebody on MN once linked to a fascinating research study showing that parents who considered their dc 'colour blind' were nearly always deluding themselves: in fact, the dc had absorbed their parents' silence about race as a sign that this was not a subject for discussion in the family. Instead, they got their information about it in the playground. Similar to parents who don't give their kids sex education, insisting that it's better to wait till the children ask questions. Very often, the children don't ever ask the questions and the parents see this as a sign of their innocence.

Ah worra I see, a comma in there somewhere might have been helpful!

What's up SardineQueen?

What's up, SardineQueen?

Yeah, you might have a point there