to be more than irritated when people say 'I'm lucky enough not to have to work' or even worse, 'my wife is lucky enough not to have to work'

[Furminator]

Someone at work said it to me this morning. I always feel like saying 'I am lucky enough to enjoy work and be good at it AND have a job - WHO'S LUCKY NOW' but I don't, obvs.

You are lucky to have all that. I'd love to have a job I enjoyed.

I guess different people value different things.

FWIW those who don't "work" are still grafting at home.

Well, It is lucky if you are in a position where you don't have to work if you don't want to. That is not the same as working because you want to.

There's nothing fortunate about being forced to work to pay the bills. That's just a fact of life.

But if you have enough money that you only work if you want to, you are indeed very lucky.

However, since people only say it to boast that they have more money than you YANBU

It's great that you enjoy your work, but there are many parents ( dads too) who would love to work less, or not at all, but because of costs have to be away from their kids more than they want.
I worked as soon as DD2 was 4 months old and loved it, but would have hated leaving her at nursery, thankfully my DH could stay at home with the kids. I believed that we should not have taken that for granted and be aware how lucky we were.
This is not to say that it is better to work or not work as a parent. We just liked having a choice.

everyone is different

meh

Well, ime as a sahm, if you don't couch your position in terms where there is some "luck" involved, people write you off as a spoilt snooty cow with too much money.

Unfortunately you can't please all of the people all of the time.

Dont really get your point? Why does it irritate you them saying it?
Do you think people who dont have to work are not lucky?

I think people are lucky who dont have to work!

i dont get your irritation TBH

they value not having to be employed by someone so to them it is lucky that they dont have to be.

you value having a job, colleagues, a career etc so it is lucky for you that you can work.

i dont get your snipeyness. it's odd.

They are just acknowledging that it is a position that some may want and not be able to afford, and are just trying to be humble about it. Not sure what your problem is to be honest.

YABU, not sure why it would irritate you, especially if you are happy doing what you do??

I feel very lucky to be going back to a very good (though not always great fun!) job next week, but partly because I don't HAVE to. I wonder if I'd feel differently if it wasn't through choice.

But YANBU, I hate the assumption that you're working because you can't afford not to, and that if they or their DP doesn't work, they must be considerably richer than you!

I don't think women are 'lucky' to stay at home I guess! I assume all women WANT to work, maybe I'm wrong...just because I like it I suppose not everyone does.

Why so irritable?

They are lucky if it is what they want, I am genuinely bewildered as to why you don't comprehend that?

"But YANBU, I hate the assumption that you're working because you can't afford not to, and that if they or their DP doesn't work, they must be considerably richer than you!"

See, that's just utter rubbish, and total, complete bollocks. I am way too intelligent to make assumptions about other people's work, or indeed their family finances.

Having the choice is lucky - many people do not have the choice - their finances demand that they must go out to work (or their finances are such that they cannot go out to work).

It's not that staying at home is more or less desirable than working, it's that it is desirable (and lucky) to have the choice.

So yes, YABU.

I think it depends where their means of support is coming from if they don't work. Some people genuinely are lucky in having an inheritance or other source of income under their own control which means that they don't have to work. But most people who would say this are being supported either by someone else's salary or by benefits. Which means that someone else controls their income - and anyone in that position is vulnerable to having the choice taken away from them.

Some people would rather have their own money - even earned in a job they didn't enjoy - and others would prefer to take the risk of having an income provided for them rather than do boring work that took them away from their children. I think anyone is 'lucky' that gets to exercise a free choice about that - most of us don't - but you're not necessarily 'lucky' not to have to work if it puts you at the mercy of someone who uses money to control you.

OK, have to bow out now as I appear to be engaging with someone who hasn't really thought this whole work/sahm thing through!

But it isn't 'lucky' to HAVE to work because otherwise you have no money.

So it is lucky to not HAVE to work.

That is a seperate point from wanting to work for whatever reason.

Not HAVING to work to keep a roof over your head is lucky.

Yes I probably am being U, thanks for putting it into perspective!

One day, Hecate, you will be WRONG.

One day!

Exactly, having the choice is lucky/fortunate.