to be more than irritated when people say 'I'm lucky enough not to have to work' or even worse, 'my wife is lucky enough not to have to work'

[Furminator]

Someone at work said it to me this morning. I always feel like saying 'I am lucky enough to enjoy work and be good at it AND have a job - WHO'S LUCKY NOW' but I don't, obvs.

on the whole more choice is better than less choice. If you have no choice it is lucky to enjoy the thing you have no choice about.

Weird OP and pretty spiteful.

If you're really happy with your lot I can't think why it would bother you. When people say they're lucky enough to work, I don't think Bastard, I just think they must be lucky to be in a position to do what they want.

Luck is a matter of perspective.

I feel very lucky to be able to stay at home and look after my DC's, and have a third one on the way. I feel very lucky to have a hardworking DH who earns the money to pay for everything.

But I do everything else. And sometimes it is knackering and exhausting and thankless.

Blimey! you have completely misunderstood me again.

Fab post Trills and loving your luck grading table!

BUT I don't consider it 'luck' that we have the life we do, we worked hard and constantly tweaked and discussed our family and work arrangements like maing sure dh could be at home while I worked etc etc.

DISCLAIMER I appreciate some don't have many or any choices through no fault of their own.

I think that anyone, male or female, is very lucky if they don't have to work, I feel lucky because I don't have to work, I choose to - so we can
have nice holidays a better life, but I'd be perfectly content to potter around at home all day , DH has just had 6 weeks off after surgery
( fully paid thank goodness) and he'd be more than happy never to go back to work again, even though he loves his job, he does have to work though, even if I went full time I would only earn a third of his salary.

What's so bloody great about working? I'm off this week and it's lovely not to have to get up at 7am , the weather will probably change next week and it will be de-icing the car and dark mornings.

I have said this myself - generally when I have to justify my SAHM status to a WAHM who's made me feel like I have too!

Proud - luck always plays a part. Though it is possible to help make your own luck, you can't make thing go your way.

Back luck = Job loss at time of serious illness is one example of why I had no choice but to give up work for a while. Bad luck = when I was able to go back to work country was in recession and I struggled to get work.

Thankfully I am a saver and have been able to support myself with my savings (not luck but good financial management) however I have been lucky that I am good at maths and can work in a field that pays me disproportionately for the amount of hard work I do. My sister was a nurse and worked every bit as hard as me but wasn't able to save as much due to her significantly lower salary.

However she was lucky enough to marry a moderately well paid man who went on to make millions. That was pure luck.

Ooo, wish I'd read thread before posting!

I would rather be a SAHM will children are tiny, so feel lucky that we can just about afford that. If I had to work now I'd be sad.

However once DCs are at school I'll probably want need /to go back to work - however it's going to v difficult for me to do that, so then I'll be cross.

If we had ooodles of ££ I would definately not work - I'd do mix of SAHM and lots of voluntary stuff (that I enjoy) to keep me sane!

My husband says it about me and I feel this intense urge to punch him. I am 'lucky' enough to be a sahm but quite frankly wish I was at work. My problem is my job doesn't pay enough to cover the child care for three kids. Love work miss work... I think I would be much happier if I went back. I have set a goal for 2013!!!
Lucky! He has stopped saying it now because I thinkast time he feared for his life.
I loath the way women are judged if they worked and patronised if they stay at home and vice versa.
I've had a job since I was 14 and not having one now makes me feel utterly worthless!!

Of course luck plays a part, as does hard work. DH and I have both always worked hard and been successful, hence now I have the financial choice to be able to be home for a year or so.

However, I am lucky in that I was born to a family who valued and could afford a top notch education, I was lucky to meet a man who gave me a break into my first choice of career, which enabled me to get on the right degree at the same time etc.

I'm unapologetic about our relative comfort financially (by no means well off, just comfortable) as we got ourselves here, however I acknowledge the luck that helped.

Why is it the mother's salary pays the childcare?

I've never really understood this one, doesn't the money come from the joint wages?

Obviously the choices you make have an impact on your life - but luck plays a big part in

1- what opportunities arise
2- you being able to take advantage of those opportunities

and anyone who says "I am not lucky I just work hard/make good choices" or similar can only ever come across as both arrogant and deluded.

In most cases you have to be lucky and work hard and make good choices.

Charming!

Why is it the mother's salary pays the childcare?

The salary of the person who would otherwise not be working has to be calculated against the cost of childcare. Obviously the actual cost comes out of joint expenses, but if the choice is that person A works and childcare must be paid for, or person A does not work and no childcare has to be paid for, then it makes sense to compare person A's income to the cost of childcare and see how much the total household income goes up or down.

I think the money comes out of household income. If that amount is equal to say one person's salary (tends to be the woman because they have been off, so their salary is on the couple's mind) then that is when people question whether it is worth it.

Was that "Charming" at me? I am not saying you are arrogant, just that you would be if you thought that there was no luck involved at all.

I don't exactly feel "lucky" not to work. I can afford not to because I had DS "late in life" and had saved up a lot before.

But I do feel the need to point this out to people who assume I am living on their taxes.

It isn't just hard work though Proud. There are millions in this country who work all the hours God sends and yet will still never break out of the near poverty trap because of various factors out of their control. Not acknowledging that would be arrogant.

Luckily (see what I did there?) I am neither arrogant or deluded so I didn't take offence but yes seemed like you were calling me both those things!

Sorry.

I was referring to the (possibly strawman) people who say "I just work hard" or "I just made the right choices", which has the implication that (with no luck involved at all) anyone whose life is not as good just did it wrong.

She did spell separate wrong though!

"I loath the way women are judged if they worked and patronised if they stay at home and vice versa." quite right Applehead.

OP you're being remarkably critical over something so trivial. Lucky you having a job you enjoy. I have a job I enjoy (being a SAHM) AIBU?

These days Hecate, you're lucky to have a job.

Nah, don't be daft Trills, I was laughing to myself!

To respond more seriously - I think I'm lucky that myself and family are in good health and I'm lucky that I had a good education. I am lucky that a friend introduced me to her boss many years ago which helped get my career going. So you're right. But the rest is down to hard work and good decisions taken by both of us for the whole family.