to be more than irritated when people say 'I'm lucky enough not to have to work' or even worse, 'my wife is lucky enough not to have to work'

[Furminator]

Someone at work said it to me this morning. I always feel like saying 'I am lucky enough to enjoy work and be good at it AND have a job - WHO'S LUCKY NOW' but I don't, obvs.

Proudnscary - the OP in her 10.39 post - 'I assume all women want to work'.

Proud, the OP did say on page one that she assumed all women wanted to work.

yes I do assume women want to work sorry [teeny voice], its a bit different when your kids are tiny I know, but once they go to school I think I'd go bonkers at home all day.

If I win the lottery and (sans kids) decide not to work am I then allowed to say that I am lucky enough not to have to work?

So you still don't realise everyone is different?!

Work is fab! Or it can be. I can't imagine not doing it even if I won the lottery (but don't worry, I am realising I am in a minority here and adjusting expectations accordingly, I expect all the workers are, erm, at work rather than on here)

Hang on- the OP just said she WBU! Has she not realised this is AIBU?! Is that even allowed?!

Anyway, I'm still pitching in, fwiw. I'm lucky enough to have a DH who works erratic and long hours, and frequently has to leave the country at the drop of the hat. We don't know from one day to the next where he'll be, and I've never been able to rely on him being home at a set time.

Added to this, the fact I have no family support or childcare has meant, as Startail said, taking the path of least resistance. My youngest also starts secondary soon, and I'm looking at courses which may lead to some sort of (self) employment. This may or may not work out, but, again like startail, it's so long since I've worked now I can't see me being selected as an employee for any job I'd want to do.

Maybe that's another reason I'm lucky I don't have to stack shelves or wipe arses, but, again, it's all in the interpretation.

Agree that it sounds knobbish coming from a man but humble if said by a woman who genuinely enjoys being in that position.

I feel lucky that I don't have to work while my children are small but I'd like to one day! There are some bloody great perks to being a SAHM .

I'm lucky enough to have the choice is, hopefully, what they mean. But it's a clunky phrase (and one I've never heard irl).

Ditto We're lucky enough that one of us has the option to not work if a man is saying this about his partner.

Whichever way one looks at it, it could seem insufferably smug - but context is all.

You sound like a person with little imagination op, but still, as long as you are enjoying what you do all day then I'm happy for you.

I don't like to work! I like to bugger about with crafts and redecorate the house...! I do! But I have to work as DH doesn't earn loads....at least then I feel like I really enjoy my buggering about when I get the time.

Oh right Mainly, I see. OP that is nuts!!!

Loads of women want to be SAHMs. I don't, you don't but many or even most do!

Maybe the woman did fell lucky not to have to work out of the home at the moment. Doesn't mean she is wrong to feel that way. She was saying she felt lucky after all, not that everyone shpuld feel that way.

Likewise the OP feels lucky to enjoy woking and to have a job - neither opinion is wrong.

It's only wrong to not accept others may feel different for themselves or to impose your own view on someone else.

I personally feel lucky to have the choice to decide what I do and what job I do too. I chose at the moment to work as a TA part time. I enjoy the work and feel lucky that we don't need the extra money so can do this. If not I would probably have returned to teaching, possibly even FT - meaning more stress, more workload and less time to spend with DD. It's good to have the choice - so yes, I feel lucky.

"I don't think women are 'lucky' to stay at home I guess! I assume all women WANT to work"

I don't want to work, and luckily I don't have to. I'm such an irritant.

Keep thinking of quotes from Dirty Harry. But thats probably just me .

oh dont worry bibbityetc I do all the other imaginative shit as well (baking, cleaning, making stuff, looking after children and animals etc etc)

he OP in her 10.39 post - 'I assume all women want to work'.

Why on Earth would you assume this? I am 41, having baby 5 and I can tell you with all assurance that I will never have a 'job' again, not ever. I would much rather be here. I am educated, well travelled and have plenty of opportunities but still I would rather be here. Fortunate enough to have my own income from properties that I bought when I did have a job. Mind you I have no problem living off my DH's income.

I really do think I am very lucky to be here at home and not have to work outside and be away from my children. It is a sensitive phrase that is non judgemental of those who do chose to or have to have a job. Cannot believe you are irritated by this.

Pinky - sometimes it is said in a judgemental way, trust me.

I think that it is nigh on impossible to state what your personal choice and/or situation is without someone choosing to place a slant upon what you have said.

I am lucky enough not to have to work outside the home.

I also loved my job and hated giving it up.

I also have children who are all at school age

I also have a son who needs 24 hour care

I do exactly what I chose and have a cleaner

You read what you want into what people say if you are minded to judge them

Well I feel lucky not to have to work since made redundant 2 years ago and being able to stay at home and look after DS.

However the downside of me being at home is my DP has to work bloody hard and long hours so that I don't have to do any job just to bring in some money.

Each to their own situation.... maybe op doesn't actually enjoy her job as much as she says and secretly envies us that are 'lucky' Devils advocate here

I expect all the workers are, erm, at work rather than on here

Nope, I am MNing in the time that I would take as fag breaks if I were a smoker. (I get shit done, I can do a bit of quick internetting if I like).

You don't think it lucky not to have to work

If you are lucky enough to wealthy enough not to have to work, you can choose to work if you want to, choose not to, choose to do a lower paid job that you enjoy more, choose to do voluntary work.

Whats unlucky about that?!

It is also lucky to have a job you really enjoy. The two are not mutually exclusive.

I'm with you OP - that sort of expression makes my teeth itch with it's hint of smugness. Surely we all make the choices that are best for ourselves and our families, and that we are able to make because of our financial circumstances - nothing about luck, just pragmatism. It's a bit like saying "We're lucky enough to be able to educate our children privately", or "We're lucky enough to have private healthcare" - it implies that everyone would want it if they could just be rich "lucky" enough.

I like my job.

I haven't stayed at home with a baby so I don't know if I would like that more.

I still understand that it is lucky to have the choice to do one or the other.

Choice - most lucky
No choice, but the thing you have to do is the thing you would choose anyway - medium luckyness
No choice, and the thing you have to do is not the thing you would choose - least lucky

Simple, huh?