mum at school screaming at her child

[newgirl]

Not sure what to say about this - a mum at school dropped off her two young children this morning and was really screaming at them to get out of the car. I thought "must be tough morning" but I could still hear her a few hundred metres up road.

Just found it upsetting. Its happened once before. Kids seem very sweet.

Not sure why Im posting really - just bit sad

I am annoyted when people use the word 'screaming' when they mean 'shouting loudly'. Don't any of you know the difference? Another Americanism has infiltrated its way into our language.

Bloody Americans.

it was screaming - not exasperated fed up grumpiness. Ive been doing school run for ten years and never heard anything like it. That's why it upset me. One of the replies on here has made me think - if this is what its like in public whats it like at home? its not a one off. kids not sn.

But I do agree that ive no idea what happened before and reasons and it is not my business. But it is very british to ignore this stuff and that isnt always great either. in real life im going to ignore it and be usual self to the mum. i sort-of feel reassured that mn jury think it is mostly ok.

Been there, would not judge. Wasn't me if it was this morning, but last week......

Maybe this woman had pnd?
Or has just lost a patent
Or has just found out her do is cheating on her
Or has found out there is no money in the bank
Or.....

true but why take it out on young kids? none of above their fault

Patent=parent

It's not the kids fault but bloody hell how can you keep it together ALL the time???
I shout at my kids and I'm not pleased with myself.
But sometimes I'm falling apart...

Lockets

There are ways of behaving in public even if you are different at home!

YANBU, I witnessed a similar thing outside my DS's infant school last night. As well as the shouting we got the yanking of the arm and the shaking of the poor little girl aswell - just so she understand the 'punishment' as this mother exclaimed. The girl said something and then in disgust that her daughter dare talk to her she very loudly kept saying, 'OMG, OMG, I've just told you your being punished now you are askig to do something else!'
She behaved in a vile, bullying manner and I don't give a shit what kind of day she had. I saw her in the play area ensuring only the twin sister was allowed on things as she was being 'punished', allowed to sit still in a jumper and skirt without tights or coat on a cold day, I judged away and thought what a cruel bitch! Oh and I do know of her, she is permanently walking around with an angry face, strutting her stuff.

My DS goes to an outstanding infant school that has mostly boho, liberal types as parents so this episode really stood out. Quite apart from anything it is uncivilized and anti-social to behave like this in public. We wouldn't accept it with adults.

Its is sad
But it happens and it doesnt mean that a child is being abused.
It could mean that but the worst sort of abuse is the silent, secret kind.

I utterly adore my children and would do anything for them. They really are the most important thing in my life.

But I have shouted at them. I have screamed at them.

I dont think its ok but it has happened.

They are happy and loved children.

Surely abuse is abuse whether it is the 'silent kind' or the loud kind - what does that even mean??

Yeah but this isnt abuse. Its shouting at the kids in the morning.

Lets not get hysterical.

I think you know perfectly well what I mean about silent abuse. Abusers dont tend to advertise what they are doing and keep children quiet through fear. It goes on behind closed doors and will go on for longer because of it.

Well, as understanding of the circumstances I'd try to be, I too would be shocked if I heard an adult screaming at a child. Shock would be my gut reaction. YANBU.

Is this going to be pages and pages of faces and people imagining what goes on behind closed doors because of someone shouting at their kids in the morning?

Screaming at children is wrong. Not shouting or ever getting angry at a child is the ideal.

Few of us can reach that ideal even when we really want to and really try.

sales of herbal rescue remedy may go up after this thread

Most parents at one stage or another have had to use a 'motivating' voice on the school run.

I've heard shouting, sure, but fortunately I've not witnessed a parent screaming.

I've seen a mother walk across a road with her dog and leave her 4yo dd to 'catch up' on her own, avoiding cars and even the local minibus. I stood in the carpark frozen in horror. The little girl was clearly distressed

No matter how rushed I am, or how cross, I never leave dd anywhere without a hug and a kiss and some kind word about her day. Of course it's harder on tough mornings but I do it.

Life is fleeting.

You just never know what's around the corner.

if this is what its like in public whats it like at home? its not a one off

What makes you say it's not a one off newgirl ? Is it because you know for a fact or are you making the assumption that because she lost it this morning in earshot of the school then it must be a regular occurence that happens everywhere all the time/regularly ?

Unless you know the family then I'm not sure that you can judge based on one outburst.

If it's the only time you've witnessed it then I think you need to leave your judgy pants off for now as you have no idea whether it was a particularly stressful morning that the mother reacted badly to.

Of course, if you know for a fact that it's not a one off and you believe that the kids are living in an abusive family then you should report it.

Shouting at your kids is not the best way to deal with things but if a parent shouts at the kids on the odd occasion it doesn't make them bad parents - it just makes them parents who have reacted badly to a situation on occasion.

hardcolin no we dont know what is round the corner but when people are at the point of shouting they are not usually thinking in a logical way.

People who are good parents shout.
People who are terrible parents may never raise their voice ever.

YANBU some parents are just shit. No excuse to scream your children.It really isn't!

Might have been me, although Very loud talking would be a more apt description.

Went to collect DD from nursery a couple of weeks back. Got told she had spit water at another child. I was really not happy, and we had a very loud conversation on the way down the road.

When mid-rant, who should appear but John Hemmings scummy wife torturer MP, right in front of me. I fixed him with one mad starey hard eye
and proclaimed "and as for you, your behaviour is an absolute disgrace as well" .

Yanbu, I always feel sad when I see this sort of thing.

I have been pretty horrible to my children in public a few times when I've been really at the end of my tether, but I do think, as an outsider, your instincts are usually probably correct as to whether this is a "bad day" for the parent or sadly just a normal day for the unfortunate children.